The Monster Within
by DinosXGoXRawr
Summary: Remus John Lupin had always been a hardworking, caring man. That is, until he met her.
1. Chapter 1

**Heyyyy guys. I've been going crazy with posting new fics lately, simply because ideas have popped into my head and I must write them down. Well, right now, I am rereading PoA and have become almost completely obsessed with Remus Lupin. It's sad, really. But this idea popped into my head, and I thought I would write it. I do not own anything Harry Potter related. **

**Hope you guys enjoy! Feel free to leave a good review or constructive criticism. **

Ch. 1

Remus John Lupin had always been a hardworking, caring man. That is, until he met her. It all started on October 31, 1991. It had been exactly ten years since his three best friends had been taken away from him. His friend James Potter had been killed by the Dark Lord, trying to protect his wife and child from danger. As far as he knew, his other friend, Peter Pettigrew, was dead. And Sirius Black, who he thought was one of his best friends, had betrayed Lily and James Potter to the Dark Lord. At least, that was the story that he had been told. Of the four Marauders, Remus was the only one left.

He slowly walked into the small, dilapidated building that the Order of the Phoenix was currently using for business. They were supposedly having a meeting tonight, and for some reason, no one else had arrived yet. He made his way over to the cabinets that lined the wall and searched until he found a bottle of red wine. He grabbed a glass and poured himself a cup, and he quietly sipped his drink while he waited. After that glass, he had two more. Ever since October 31, 1981, he had been having problems with keeping his drinking under control.

After waiting for almost thirty minutes, the door finally opened, and Albus Dumbledore walked in, accompanied by Mad-Eye Moody and Minerva McGonagall. "Well, Remus, I'm surprised to see you here," Mad-Eye growled, limping over to sit next to him. "I didn't think you were planning on showing up on the nine-year anniversary."

The truth was, Remus didn't plan on showing up, but he would rather be discussing plans to take down Voldemort and his followers than moping around his house wondering what could've been. Instead of telling Mad-Eye this, he just gulped down his fourth glass of wine.

"Alright, we're just waiting on a few more people, and then we'll start," Dumbledore announced. His deep voice was enough to make everyone in the room remain silent.

A few of the older members showed up, including Kingsley Shacklebolt, with his burly stature and all-knowing gaze. When he walked in, he was accompanied by four other people, three young men and a young woman. One of the men was looking around like he was lost, another looked absolutely amazed, and the other was talking business with Dumbledore. They all looked like they could be brothers, with their dark hair, pale skin, and brown eyes.

And then there was the young woman. She was a pretty one, that was for sure. Even Remus, who had never looked at a single girl in all his life, could see that. She looked to be about 17 years old, with dark, mysterious eyes and pale skin. Her hair was brown and curly with purple highlights, and she had a twisted, prideful smirk and pointed nose. She wore a dark black skirt and purple jacket, along with a green charm necklace and black boots. Remus didn't look twice at her, though. What was there to look at? She was only a child.

He examined the three young men as well, who were now all talking to Arthur Weasley. He assumed that they must all be new recruits for the Order of the Phoenix.

"As you can see by now, I hope," Dumbledore started as he walked into the center of the room. Everyone was immediately silenced just by his voice once again. "We have new recruits. They all have just now completed their seven years of education at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. They were all very promising students, and I know they'll be just as promising as Order members. They're all training to be Aurors as well." He smiled, but no one could really tell under his white, bushy beard. "This young man here is Heinrich Ehrlichmann. He is German, and he can speak both German and English. I'm sure that could come in handy." He gestured to the shortest man that was there, the one that looked lost. "And this one here is Alfred Charleston. He by far made the best grades in his class, I think." Remus guessed that the last one was the business-like one. They all looked so much alike that he couldn't tell the difference. "And this one is Kadir Rushka. He's part Indian, so that could come in handy as well."

Remus felt a pair of eyes on him, and he felt a chill run down his back. That only happened when Mad-Eye looked at him, with his mechanic eye attached to his face. Just the thought of that eye swiveling around and looking at him gave him the shivers. But it wasn't Mad-Eye that was looking at him. It was the young woman with the weird eyes.

"This one here is Nymphadora Tonks. She's a Metamorphmagus."

The woman's hair turned into a bright, vivid red color that matched the color of her cheeks. "It's…it's Tonks. Not Nymphadora. That's a terrible name."

Dumbledore smiled a little and patted her on the shoulder. "Of course. Tonks, everyone. Don't call her Nymphadora."

Tonks looked around the room, her eyes turning to a sharp, gray color, like she was confused about something. She smiled and waved at everyone as they started to greet her, and then her eyes landed on Remus again. She frowned, like he was the last person on the planet that she wanted to see. Her hair turned to a light, mousy brown color, and she looked away.

"Since all of you fine young people have decided to become Aurors, I'm giving you one personal trainer to spend a couple of weeks with. Now, all they're going to do is help you get acquainted with battle techniques, potions, and charms. I'll be putting you with some of my best men," Dumbledore explained.

Remus didn't think this applied to him. After all, he wasn't exactly considered an Auror, even though he did lots of work that Aurors did. He knew that they would probably be assigned to someone such as Arthur Weasley or Mad-Eye. They were great at what they did. And even if he did get chosen to take care of one of the kids, when would he have any time to help them? He had others things that he needed to do.

"Alastor," Dumbledore began, pointing to the German boy, "You can work with Heinrich. Kingsley, why don't you take Alfred? And…Arthur. You can take Kadir. It'll only be for a couple of weeks." He paused and glanced around the room, his light blue eyes sweeping over each face looking back at him. "Oh, and Remus? Do you mind helping Tonks out?"

Remus's head shot up, and he looked at Dumbledore with pleading eyes. Did he really have to do something like this? He wasn't even an Auror. What help could he be to someone that wanted to become an Auror? Why couldn't someone like Snape do it? He was incredible when it came to potions and defense.

And besides, there was that one small detail that everyone seemed to overlook when it came to Remus. Did they not understand that every month at the full moon, he became a monster? He could hurt someone very seriously. That is the exact reason why Remus never let himself get close to anyone, especially a girl. And with the way this girl was looking at him right now, he didn't know what to expect.

"Hi," she said, walking over to him. She smiled broadly and held her hand out to shake his, but she ended up tripping over one of her big, black boots and almost falling. She caught herself just before she could go down. And this girl expected to be an Auror?

"Hi," Remus said, not making eye contact with her. He ran a hand through his graying hair, and he went to get another glass of wine.

Tonks followed right on his heels, as if she thought that because he was helping her, she had to go wherever he went all the time. She leaned over his shoulder and watched as he poured the red liquid into the cup, and he slowly looked at her, wondering what she was doing.

"You've had too much tonight," she told him, placing her hand on his. "Don't you think that's enough?"

Remus eyed her carefully. She was only seventeen. He didn't have to listen to her. "I'll be fine," he murmured, sipping down his fifth glass. He started to walk toward the box that he was sitting on before, but he stumbled a little.

Tonks smirked, like she knew something that he didn't. "Well, look who's stumbling around. You've definitely had too much. Do you expect to get home safely tonight?"

Remus looked a little angry then, but he wasn't normally someone to get upset about anything like that. "You should be worried about yourself. You don't have to be drunk to stumble all over the place."

Tonks frowned and looked down at the ground. "Well, I've always been like that."

Remus's face softened, and he suddenly felt bad for insulting her. After all, she was only a young girl, and she didn't do any harm to him. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"It's okay!" She was bright and cheery now, like he hadn't even said anything to her that upset her. "So I'm thinking we can meet somewhere tomorrow and work on some things. Does that sound okay?"

"That's fine," Remus grumbled as he shoved the bottle of wine back in the cabinet. "I'm free all day. We can meet here." He glanced out the window nervously, and when he saw the moon starting to rise in the pale evening sky, he scowled. "Well, I think I need to get going." He waved a little at Tonks, and then he hurried as fast as he could out the door. No one asked any questions.

Remus wandered down the street, hoping that no one would see him. He felt a sharp pain in his chest, and he knew that the transformation was about to begin. He had to get home, and fast. He peered around, just to double check that no one was around, and then he Apparated.

He ended up in front of his small shanty outside of Godric's Hollow. He could feel the sharp pain pulsing through his veins, and he raised his hands up to look at them. They were slowly turning into pointed, furry, clawed feet. His body was becoming covered in fur as well, and his clothes seemed like they were shrinking. His legs were growing longer, and he could feel fangs forming in his mouth. He let out a howl of pain, and fell to all four feet. He had been putting up with this transformation every month since he was eight years old. It wasn't like it was anything new. But it still caused him great pain all the time, and he wished that he or anyone else in the world would not have to go through it ever again. But as everyone knew, there was no cure.

He could feel all of his human instincts starting to melt away. He couldn't even see straight at the moment. He shook his head and let out a breath, trying to clear his vision, but his whole head felt cloudy. It wasn't the first time he had been intoxicated while he was in his monstrous state. But why did it matter? It wasn't slowing him down any. He was still a werewolf, and he was still hungry for human meat. He lost all sense of control, unable to stay in one place for too long. He needed something to eat.

He bounded through Godric's Hollow, sniffing and snorting the ground, trying to pick up any scent. There was none. He stood up on two feet and smelled the air, and when no scent met his nostrils, he reached out and scratched the tree in front of him, leaving long, narrow scars on the trunk. And when he couldn't find someone to attack, he resorted to scratching himself, howling in anguish and trying to run away from the danger he was bringing to himself. He ran and sniffed and scratched for hours into the night, until the sun started to rise and he transformed into his old self.


	2. Chapter 2

**Alright, chapter 2! Still no reviews, but that's alright. We'll get there. Sorry if my summary isn't that appealing. I just took the first two lines of the first chapter. Eh, well. **

Ch. 2

He woke up in the middle of the cemetery the next morning, cold and shivering from the light snow that was falling from the sky. He looked around and gripped his chest, where newly-made scars were sliced permanently into his skin. He rose from his spot on the ground and stared down to see which grave he had been curled up by, and was shocked to see that he was in between Lily and James Potter's graves. How could that have happened? He couldn't have recognized the graves when he was in his werewolf state. It had to be a coincidence.

He tried to climb to his feet, but he wobbled and fell back to the ground. His head felt like it had been hit with a hammer, and his hands shook as he tried to calm the pain. He shivered a little more as he tried to block out the cold, bitter wind that was biting at his skin, forcing him to curl into a ball. His wounds were burning in the frigid air, and he needed to get home, but he felt too ill to even move.

After about an hour or so, Remus was able to stand up on shaky legs and walk out of the cemetery, gripping his head as he did so. He felt like he was going to explode any moment. He glanced at the statue standing just a few feet from him. There was James, with his cheery, playful eyes and messy hair. Next to him was Lily, her curly hair framing her face perfectly and a warm smile playing on her lips. In her arms was their child, Harry Potter. He appeared to have all of James's features, except for the eyes. He had his mother's eyes. Remus sighed. He missed James and Lily more and more each day, it seemed, and he wished that they were still alive, and it had all been some made-up story to confuse the wizarding world. This was never going to be true.

He finally made it to his home, where he walked in and found his messy couch practically calling his name. He shut the door, shivering again as the last bit of wind hit him hard in the back, and he plopped down on the couch and covered up in the warmest blanket he could find. He had barely shut his eyes when he heard a loud knock at the door. He got up and walked over to look out the window, and he saw young Tonks standing there, looking lost and lonely. He sighed and opened the door, and she grinned brightly.

"Arthur and Molly told me that you weren't feeling too well last night," she said as she walked in the house without invitation. "I came to see if you were up to meeting up with me today." She glanced at him and sat down on the tattered chair next to the couch. "I suppose you're not."

"I will be tomorrow," Remus said, his eyes drooping at almost every word he spoke. He couldn't remember ever feeling as awful as he did today. "Just go on home and come back tomorrow. I just need a little rest. Did Arthur and Molly send you here?"

"Well, you wouldn't be so sick if you hadn't drunk almost a whole bottle of wine," Tonks retorted, crossing her arms and leaning back in the chair. "And yes, Arthur and Molly did send me here." She kicked off her knee-high boots and pulled her knees up under her chin. "They said you lived over here beside Godric's Hollow."

Remus stared at her like she was crazy. "Making yourself comfortable, are you?" he asked as he made his way over to the couch again.

Her hazel eyes flickered in what looked to be humiliation, and she looked away. "Well, I assumed I would be staying for a while. To take care of you, you know. I feel like it would be the least I could do, since you're helping me and all."

Remus wrapped his blanket closer around his body and stared at the dusty floor. "Go home, Nymphadora."

Tonks's hair turned a bright, vivid red, just as it did last night. "Don't call me that."

"Don't give me a reason to."

Tonks glared hard at him for several seconds, and then she turned away. "Alright, I won't. But I am staying, in case you need anything. You need someone to take care of you."

Remus fluffed up his thin pillow and laid his head down. He hated that she made him so bitter, with her happy-go-lucky attitude and her crooked smirk. He couldn't help feeling resentment for her, even if she was just a child.

"You really need to clean up your house," Tonks said, dropping her feet to the floor. "Look at the dirt all over your floor. Do you want me to clean up for you?"

Remus turned so that his face was covered by the pillow. "No," he mumbled. He could feel his eyes drooping some more, and finally, he was able to fall into a deep sleep.

…..

If he would have stayed awake, Remus would have probably known Tonks's whole life story. Despite the fact that Remus told her not to, Tonks pulled out a broom and cleaned the entire house. She hated using Muggle equipment, but she had never been good at household spells. The cleaning process didn't take very long at all. The house only consisted of a living room, a bathroom, and a kitchen. She knew that he had fallen asleep long before she started her task, but the house was so quiet and forlorn that she had to find some way to keep herself company. So, as her last resort, she began talking to herself, making sure to include every detail that she could about her life as a Hufflepuff student. She had wasted almost two hours doing that, and she wasn't sure just how much longer she could go.

Eventually, she plopped back down in her chair and watched Remus sleeping, simply because there was nothing else to do. She eyed him as his chest rose up and down, and he started to mumble something about the moon.

"It's…full tonight. I have to go," he said softly. If Tonks would have paid a little more attention in History of Magic or Defense Against Dark Arts class, then she might understand vaguely what he was talking about. But sadly, she had not paid a lot of attention, which is exactly why she needed Remus for a teacher.

She found herself reading a book, which she never did, just to be able to pass the time. It felt like the tiny home was sucking the life right out of her. It was so quiet and small, and there was nothing to entertain her. She expected Remus to wake up and ask her to do something for him, or maybe he had a radio that she could listen to or a pet that she could play with. But there was nothing.

She finally found herself in the kitchen, where there were five or six boxes stacked on top of each in the corner of the room. Tonks knew that it was wrong to go through people's stuff, but Remus didn't seem like he had anything to hide. And besides, what else was she supposed to do?

The first thing she found was a picture of Remus standing next to a rather scruffy looking boy with black hair; a small, round boy with bad teeth; and a scrawny boy with messy hair and glasses. For some reason, every one of the people in the picture looked familiar, but she couldn't figure out why. She heard Remus roll over and cough in the other room, and she quickly replaced the picture and pulled out something else.

A smile lit up her face when she saw what she had pulled out next. It was exactly what she had been looking for the whole time. It was a small, portable CD player. Now all she needed was a CD to put in it. That didn't take long to find, though. She found it in the bottom of the box in a clear case, and the CD had written on it "Random Muggle Music to Annoy Remus With." Tonks smirked to herself. Oh, yes. This was going to work perfectly.

The first song on the CD happened to be her favorite of all of them. It had a nice beat to it, and it was incredibly catchy once you listened to it for so long. She hummed it softly to herself as she danced around the living room, letting the CD play on repeat.

She slowly inched into the tiny closet that was standing behind the couch, and she searched through it for something warmer to wear. She was surprised she wasn't covered in icicles yet. In her search, she was able to find a white dressy shirt, possibly the only dressy thing Remus owned, and some white knee-high socks.

She tugged them on and shivered a little, peering over the edge of the couch to look at Remus one more time. He was snoring lightly, and his face had regained a whole lot of color. When she had first gotten there, his skin was paler than the snow outside, and he had large, dark circles under his eyes.

The CD started over, and it was that catchy song playing again. Tonks patted out the sixteen-note beat in the beginning with her feet, and then she slid into the living room from the kitchen, holding her wand as a microphone. "Just take those old records off the shelf," she sang, shaking her hips a little and almost tripping over her feet. "I'll sit and listen to 'em by myself. Today's music ain't got the same soul. I like that old time rock n' roll."

"What are you doing?"

Tonks jumped, startled by the sudden voice, and almost fell flat on her face. "Um…uh…what does it look like I'm doing? I'm dancing."

Remus sat up on the couch, pulling his blanket closely around him, and stared at her with sleepy eyes. "I wasn't sure you were capable of that," he said. "I would have guessed that you had two left feet when it came down to it."

Tonks rolled her eyes. "Ha. Ha. Enough about my clumsiness. Did you have a nice rest? It sure seemed like you did."

Remus narrowed his eyes and ran a hand through his hair. "Well, I suppose so, until I was rudely awakened by that…awful Muggle song. Is this the-"

"Random Muggle songs to annoy Remus with?" Tonks interrupted, smiling. "Why, yes. Yes, it is."

Remus shook his head, a small smile on his face. "Sirius played that at my nineteenth birthday party. It definitely succeeded in annoying me." He paused and glanced over the girl again. "Are you wearing my clothes?"

Tonks tried her best to look innocent, but she didn't succeed. "Um…see…about that. I was cold, and I-"

"It's okay," Remus said, holding up a hand to silence her. "Just don't worry about it."

Tonks returned the smile and sat down next to him, pulling her knees under her chin again and shivering. "You ran out so fast last night, I didn't get to…" She trailed off and looked into his eyes. She didn't know what was wrong with her. Ever since she had seen Remus, she had felt some sort of attraction to him, but she wasn't sure what. There was certain tenderness to him, one that said he cared, and he needed someone to care for him as well. But she felt like it was wrong to be attracted to a man that was thirteen years older than her. That was almost half her age.

"You didn't get to what?" Remus asked, rubbing his sleepy-looking eyes and yawning.

Tonks frowned, and she could feel her cheeks turning red again. She wasn't normally one to be embarrassed. That just wasn't _her_. "Um…" she hesitated, and then let out a laugh. "Nothing. I don't know what I'm talking about." She glanced up to meet his eyes again, and she felt her stomach do a flip. What was she doing? She inched a little closer to him and placed her cold hand over his even colder one.

Remus felt the hair on the back of his neck stand on end, and he quickly pulled away. "I think you should go home," he murmured, not making eye contact with her. "Get some rest, and I'll meet you tomorrow."

"That sounds good," Tonks replied, also looking at the floor in embarrassment. She quickly pulled off his shirt and socks, handed them to him, pulled on her boots, and rushed out the door, stumbling as she shut the door behind her.

Remus stared after her and ran a hand through his hair again, obviously becoming a nervous habit of his. Why would she care for him? He was an old man, and she was still young and innocent. She could do whatever she wanted to do, and she chose to spend time with him. He didn't know what to think of it. Actually, why should he think on it? She was only a child. It wasn't a big deal.


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry it took so long! I've had this written and just never had the time to upload. But here it is! Hope you like it! Feel free to leave any constructive criticism. **

"So I hear that Tonks stayed at your house all day yesterday," Mad-Eye said, taking a sip of his firewhiskey. "Care to elaborate on that?"

Remus rolled his eyes and glanced around the Weasleys' small, cozy home that he was sitting in. "Well, honestly, I slept the whole time. I woke up to see her dancing, and then she left."

Mad-Eye raised an eyebrow. "Why was she dancing?"

Remus shrugged and tapped his foot, nervously glancing at the door every few seconds. More people were supposed to be coming sometime soon, and he wasn't looking forward to seeing Tonks.

"I think she's a nice girl, Remus," Molly said as she trotted into the room carrying fresh-baked cookies and pie. "Why don't you get to know her a little more? You might like her too." She smiled graciously and rushed back out of the room.

Remus looked at Mad-Eye with a look that clearly showed he was confused. Why did it seem like everyone was against him all of a sudden?

"I agree, Remus," Mad-Eye said, taking a cookie from the plate and shoving it in his mouth, his eye swiveling the whole time. "Get to know her a little more. She seems pleasant enough. And she must like you, too. There are not many people that would spend a whole day with you, especially if you're asleep the whole time."

Remus twiddled his thumbs a little and thought the whole thing over. Of course she liked him. She had made that fairly obvious. It was the idea that everyone wanted him to give her a chance, and he might be attracted to her as well. That was never going to happen. "Do you think you might be able to work with her for the next couple of weeks?" he finally asked. "You'll end up working with her anyway, to help her train to be an Auror. I don't know why she needs my help."

Mad-Eye shrugged and coughed a little. "Well, I don't know why she needs your help either. But it sure seems like she _wants_ your help." He looked up at Remus for a moment and sighed. "Alright, I'll do it. But I can't promise to completely keep her away from you. That's her choice."

Molly breezed into the room almost soundlessly and sat down next to Mad-Eye, accompanied by the only girl she had, Ginny. "She's the only one that's still at home," Molly explained, wrapping an arm around Ginny's shoulder. "Ron just left for Hogwarts in September."

"Wouldn't that mean that this is Harry Potter's first year as well?" Remus asked, suddenly interested in the conversation.

Molly glanced at Mad-Eye in questioning, and he nodded. "Yes, he's eleven years old now. I'm grateful that he's made it this far. There's still Death Eaters wandering around out there, you know."

Remus opened his mouth to speak, but he was cut off by a noisy knock on the door. Molly gave him an all-knowing look and smiled widely before brushing past him and rushing toward the door. Remus craned his neck to see who was standing at the door, and he saw someone that resembled Bellatrix Lestrange so much that he had to glance twice to make sure it wasn't her. Standing next to that woman was a taller man with pale hair and a big belly. He resembled someone that might be a part of the Malfoy family. And standing between them was Tonks, with brown hair and bright blue highlights and a frown on her face.

"Come in, come in, Andromeda! Ted! How are you Nym-" Molly paused and shut the door. "Tonks. How are you?"

Tonks smiled graciously, showing off perfectly pearly white teeth, and stepped into the living room, careful not to trip over anything on her way to sit down. She waved at Ginny and glanced over to see Remus, who was trying his best not to make eye contact with her.

"This is supposed to be a happy home!" Molly exclaimed as she stalked back into the living room, Andromeda and Ted trailing behind her. "Why isn't anyone happy?" She glared at Remus, who was staring down into his butterbeer and swirling it around in the cup.

"Nymphadora, move over to the couch, will you?" Andromeda said, pulling her black hair away from her face. The same curly black hair that belonged to her sister, Bellatrix. "There's not room for all of us."

"I will if you don't call me that name again," Tonks retorted, glaring up at her mother.

Andromeda sighed. "Fine, I won't call you by any name then. Just please move." She shooed Tonks away and took her place in the chair next to her husband.

Tonks looked over at the couch where Molly was sitting next to Ginny and Remus, and Molly was slowly inching away and leaving a space between herself and Remus. Tonks peered at him from under her stringy hair and looked at the floor, unsure of how she was supposed to act now that she had advanced on Remus so quickly.

Remus continued to stare into his cup, while Tonks twirled her hair nervously. Molly and Andromeda were exchanging looks from across the room, confused about what they were supposed to do. The tension in the room was so high that no one said anything, scared to make the feeling much worse.

Molly coughed after a few seconds and smiled in a friendly manner. "So…" she began, glancing around the room at every individual person. "Nice weather we're having, yes?"

Tonks nodded and forced a smile. "It is. In fact, it is such nice weather that I think I might take a walk." She got up from the couch and started to walk out, but her mother motioned for her to sit back down. She did, reluctantly, and scooted as far away from Remus as she could.

A few minutes later, Molly was able to break the tension in the room and make casual conversation with everyone. Andromeda was a very spirited woman, and she seemed carefree and innocent when she talked, just like Tonks did. She also seemed very inquisitive and intelligent. She was incredibly fascinated in getting to know Remus, and Remus wondered if maybe Tonks might have said something about him. It seemed like it, since Tonks was beside him biting her nails and shifting uncomfortably.

"Are you feeling any better today?" Andromeda asked. "I heard you were sick yesterday."

Remus nodded. "Much better than I did yesterday, but still not very well."

"Dromeda, I think we probably need to get going," Ted said, placing his hand on his wife's arm tenderly. "We still need to finish up in the garden."

"Nympha-" Andromeda said as she stood up, gazing at her daughter with curious eyes. "Dora, do you want to stay here and go with us?"

Tonks stared at her mother for a second and shrugged. "I guess I can go with you, if you need help."

"We do. We need to catch those gnomes running around destroying our flowers," Ted said, draping his arm around his wife's shoulders. "You can do that er…Dora?"

Tonks inconspicuously glanced at Remus, who looked almost ready to pass out, and then she nodded. "Alright, I'll come." She got up and tried to act nonchalant and cool, as if she had never done anything wrong, but she ended up spilling a glass of firewhiskey all over Mad-Eye.

Molly jumped up as fast as she could and flitted into the kitchen so she could clean it up, and then returned seconds later. Andromeda and Ted were acting as if this was a normal occurrence, and it was. Mad-Eye seemed unaffected by the spill. He just sat there and let Molly clean off his shirt.

Remus coughed. "Nice job."

Tonks shot him a glare and smoothed out her skirt that she was wearing. "Oh, and now you talk to me?" she hissed.

Remus shrugged as if it was no big deal. He might as well bury the hatchet while he could. That was the Muggle saying, right? "You don't have to get upset," he said, smiling. "I was only joking."

Tonks narrowed her eyes and glared at him, unable to think of anything to say. Instead of saying anything to him, she just strutted off, barely missing a coat rack beside the door.

As soon as they had left, Remus felt like the room was oddly empty. Well, of course it was emptier than what it was, but he felt kind of…lonely. It was a strange feeling, and he wasn't sure what brought it on. Did he miss her sitting next to him? No, that wasn't possible. He had only known her for two days, and she wasn't even in his age range. But he found that the more he thought about her, the more unusual he felt. It was as if a part of him was missing. He almost regretted handing her over to Mad-Eye. No, he couldn't possibly feel regret for that. It was for the best, right?

"I think I need to get going," Remus announced only a little while later. "I'm not feeling well."

"Of course, dear," Molly said in understanding. "Go get some rest. We can meet up anytime. If you need anything, you know where to find us."

Remus nodded and headed out the door, knowing that he was not going to be getting any rest.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys! Thanks for the reviews! Feel free to leave constructive criticism. Won't bother me. Also, if you have any ideas, share them with me. And without further adu...**

**Ch. 4**

Two weeks passed, and Remus did not see Tonks at all during the time. He didn't even hear from her. The only person that showed up at his door was Molly Weasley, inviting him to eat dinner with her family. Like Mad-Eye had said previously, not very many people were willing to come visit him too often.

For the most part, he stayed at home, reading books and watching the little village beyond. Not much happened there, but he still enjoyed looking out at the quaint, snow-covered houses. He paced back and forth across the living room, hoping that someone would come to see him. He couldn't convince himself that the person he wanted to see most was Tonks.

After the long weeks of silence, Remus was surprised to hear a thunderous knock on the door late in the evening. The only light illuminating his shanty home was a small candle, and he couldn't see anyone out the window. It was strange, really. He hesitated, and another knock came. He slowly made his way to the door and opened it just a crack before it was shoved back and someone entered through the darkness.

"Lumos," they whispered, and the tip of their wand filled the room better than the candle did. "Do you always do things like this?"

Remus was incredibly relieved to see that it was only Tonks, but he was also confused about what she was talking about. "Do what?"

"Insult someone and then ignore them for a couple of weeks?" Tonks said, raising an eyebrow. "I'm eighteen now, you know."

Remus shrugged and made his way over to the couch. "And what's your point? I'll be thirty-two in a few months. Are you trying to suggest something to me?" He sat back and crossed his arms casually, as if they were just discussing the weather.

Tonks stared at him sadly and shrugged, trying to seem laidback. "Well, no. I'm just saying that I had my birthday last week, and you didn't come celebrate with us."

"Didn't know anything about it."

Tonks sighed and plopped down on the couch next to him, dropping her wand and shivering in the sudden darkness. "Why don't we start over?"

Again, Remus shrugged. "Sure, if you think that's what's best."

Tonks nodded and turned to him. "Hi," she said, sticking out her hand to him. "How are you? I'm Tonks-"

"Well, that's an odd name," Remus interrupted, and he couldn't help smiling when he saw her unamused expression. "I've never heard of anyone named Tonks before."

Tonks grimaced and drew her hand back, shoving it inside her jacket pocket. "Well, that's what I go by. My last name. Look can we try-"

"I've never heard of a woman going by her surname," Remus interjected. "Why do you do that? What's your first name?"

Tonks crossed her arms and turned away from him, obviously annoyed. Remus grinned at her and playfully slapped her on the arm, but she still ignored him. "You said you wanted to start over," he said. "Isn't this how the beginning conversation would go?"

Tonks slowly turned around to face him and smiled sourly. "Hi, I'm…" she hesitated, her outstretched hand starting to move down, as she was unsure whether she should even continue this ridiculous nonsense. "I'm…_Nymphadora Tonks_. And you are?"

Remus chuckled before shaking her hand, and she slapped him. "What?" he exclaimed, as if he didn't do anything wrong. "Even you agree it's a funny name!"

Tonks scowled. "That's the only thing that pisses me off, you know. Someone calling me by my first name." She paused and stared down at her hands for a second before speaking again. "Are you always such a smartass?"

Remus shook his head. "Not always. Only when I'm in a good mood. So, since I think it's weird that you go by your surname, and because you introduced yourself by first and last name, can I call you Nymphadora?"

Tonks crossed her arms and was close to pouting. She was the younger one of the two of them. Why was she being the mature one and he was acting like a child? "No, you may not. That's not what I go by." She paused. "You're acting childish."

Remus laughed a deep, hearty laugh and leaned back on the couch. "I'm sorry, Tonks. Will you ever forgive me?"

Tonks smiled sweetly and patted him on the arm. Surprisingly, he didn't flinch back. Instead, he seemed to become less tense. "I suppose I can forgive you."

Remus turned his head to look at her, but the moonlight shining through the window had been concealed by the dark storm clouds outside. He couldn't see anything in the cramped living room. He reached out to grab his wand, which he had set down on the coffee table, but he couldn't find it anywhere.

"I'll get it," Tonks said, reaching out and shoving his arm back. She grabbed her wand and muttered, "Lumos." A little white light filled the room, and she swung the wand around so she could see Remus's face. "The candle went out. Must have been hit by wind when I came in."

Remus nodded, and he jumped a little when the loud crack of thunder sounded outside. "You better get home, then," he said, "before it starts to rain."

Tonks's face softened, and she tried to put on the best innocent face that she could muster. "Um…I was kind of hoping that I could stay here tonight. My parents are gone, and I don't like being alone. Is that okay?"

Remus sighed and clasped his hands together, obviously deep in thought. He honestly didn't expect her to ask something like that. He didn't want to take any risks with her. If she was going to make a move on him again, he couldn't possibly let her stay the night with him. And he couldn't imagine all of the things he would hear from the Order members if they found out that she stayed.

"I'll sleep on the floor," Tonks told him when he didn't reply.

Remus snapped out of his thoughts and looked right into her deep green eyes. "You can stay, if you want," he said, "but you, being the guest, means that you need the couch. I'll get the floor."

Tonks smiled, and she didn't dare argue with him. The last thing she wanted was another disagreement. "Thanks," she yawned. "Well, if you're ready to go to sleep, then so am I."

Remus nodded. "I've been ready to go to sleep for a while." He got up and went to his closet, where he pulled out three very thin, tattered blankets and handed them to Tonks. He grabbed one blanket and one pillow for himself, and he curled up on the dusty floor, trying to get comfortable.

For almost an hour, he lay awake, wondering if Tonks was ever going to speak. She didn't. She was on the couch, completely soundless. The only thing he heard was the thunder outside. He tossed and turned, unable to fall asleep because of the thoughts flooding his mind. Why did he agree to let her stay? It was awkward and incredibly wrong in his mind. He felt almost sick just knowing that she was only a few feet away from him. It wasn't that he was attracted to her or anything. No, that wasn't it at all. He just believed that she was good company. She was a nice friend to have when there was no one else around. After convincing himself that he was doing nothing wrong, he fell into a quiet sleep.

Tonks stayed quiet for a long while, trying to let sleep overtake her. She listened as a steady rain started to fall outside, and then it picked up speed and started falling down in blankets. It pelted the tin roof continuously, making it impossible for her to fall asleep. She turned over and looked at Lupin, whose face was turned away from hers.

Why did she ask to stay? She didn't mind staying at home alone. She had done it many times before. Honestly, she only wanted to stay because she wanted to see him, to tell him exactly how she felt. She wasn't one to believe in love at first sight, but that was exactly what had happened. As soon as she had seen him standing there in the darkness of the old building, she knew that there was nothing more she wanted than to be with him. Why this was, she wasn't exactly sure of. It was something about the way he looked at her, the way he acted around her, the way his light touch felt against her skin. He was gentle and caring, and she knew that he was of no harm to her, and that he would take great care of her. But he didn't believe this to be so.

"Remus?" she called into the silence. "Are you still awake?"

There was no answer. Tonks rolled over onto her back again and shut her eyes, but she knew that there was no sense in trying to sleep when all she could hear was the tin roof rattling above her.

…

Remus awoke the next morning when the sunshine outside reached his eyes. He crawled up out of the floor and grabbed his back, which was in pain from sleeping on the hard wooden floor all night. He glanced over at the couch and saw that Tonks was already up, and she still looked incredibly tired.

"Did you sleep alright?" he asked.

Tonks yawned. "No. How can you sleep when there's rain beating your roof all night long?"

Remus shrugged and started to pack up all of the blankets on the couch. "I got used to it, I guess." He walked over to the closet and shoved the blankets in there before heading to the kitchen.

"I made toast," Tonks said as she followed after him. "I couldn't find anything else."

Remus nodded and reached into the cabinet, where he pulled out a large bottle of firewhiskey and headed toward the living room. "That's all I have, I think."

Tonks was bewildered. She knew that he had some major drinking problems, but she didn't think that he would be drinking this early in the morning. It was only 9:30. She trotted behind him, almost colliding with him because she was so close to his heels, and sat down on the couch next to him. "Don't you think it's a little early in the day to be drinking like that?"

Remus gulped down some of the firewhiskey and shook his head. "Does it make any difference what time of the day it is?"

Tonks was silent. Instead of saying anything, she just pulled her legs up close to her body and looked down at the floor. It was impossible to stay warm in Remus's house.

Remus took a large swig of the firewhiskey and handed the bottle to Tonks. "Do you want some? I'll get you a glass."

Tonks shook her head. She had never had a drink in her life. Well, there was that one time at that wild Ravenclaw party in fifth year. But other than that, she had never had a drink in her life. "I'm okay, thanks."

Remus set the bottle down hard on the coffee table and rubbed his eyes, which proved that he had not slept well last night either. "Well, do you want to take a walk through Godric's Hollow? And then I can walk you home. You're only over the hill, right?"

Tonks nodded. "Yeah, that sounds fine." She got up and started toward the door, and, noticing that Remus had followed carrying his drink, ripped the bottle from his hand and set it down on the floor. "That's enough for one morning, alright?" She opened the door and pulled the hood of her jacket over her head.

The wind bit at their skin. It was the middle of November, and the temperature was below freezing, a major drop from last night's temperature. The air still felt muggy and damp from the rainstorm. A light snow had begun to fall from the sky, and it lightly dusted the ground below them.

The first few minutes of their walk was silent. Remus shoved his hands in his pockets and looked down at the ground, making sure not to slip on the ice that was beginning to form. He also didn't want to look up and see that statue. It always sent a painful shot through his chest, thinking about his long lost friends.

"You knew them, didn't you?" Tonks asked, pointing toward the dreaded statue. "James and Lily Potter? You all went to Hogwarts at the same time." She hoped that it wasn't noticeable that she took a step closer to him.

Remus scratched his head in thought. He didn't exactly want to answer any questions about them, but it seemed like that was what he had to do. "Yes, I knew them. James was one of my best friends. Lily was probably the most brilliant witch in our year."

Tonks walked over to the statue and stared up at the couple's youthful faces. She had heard stories about the Potters' demise ten years ago, and by hearing all of those stories, she felt like she knew them herself. "Do you think the boy remembers his parents at all?" she asked. The baby was carefully cradled in his mother's arms, and the father was looking adoringly down at the two of them. It was ridiculous how much the statue made Tonks long for a family of her own.

"Probably not," Remus replied, walking up beside her and staring up at the faces as well. "He was only a baby. His aunt and uncle supposedly told him that his parents died in a car crash. That's what Hagrid told us, anyway. He just learned about his parents a couple of months ago."

Tonks reached out and touched the gilded plaque that was below the three people. "He was your best friend," she repeated, as if turning the idea over in her mind. She turned to look at Remus, her ocean blue eyes glimmering in the low sunlight.

"Yes, one of my best friends," he confirmed, looking away from her. "James, Peter Pettigrew, and…Sirius Black."

Tonks let out a gasp, but quickly covered her mouth. She didn't want to seem like everyone else, scared that one day the most feared servant of the Dark Lord would have his revenge on someone. "Sirius Black? The mass murderer? He killed thirteen people!"

Remus nodded slowly, trying to process the information in his mind. It had been ten years, but he was still wondering why someone hadn't suspected Sirius earlier on. He seemed so innocent. "Including Peter Pettigrew. But he got what he deserved, didn't he? He's spending the rest of his life in Azkaban. People go crazy in there. Why don't we go?" He grabbed Tonks's arm and dragged her across the icy dirt road.

Tonks could feel large goosebumps form on her arms at his touch, but she jerked away in order to hide her embarrassment. "You don't like to talk about your years at Hogwarts, do you?" she asked.

"I don't like talking about my childhood at all." There was nothing left to say. Remus had been bitten by Fenrir Greyback when he was seven years old, and he had spent the last twenty four years of his life with that. But he didn't have to tell her his secret.

They walked in silence, but it wasn't awkward or tense. It was a silence that swept over the entire village of Godric's Hollow. There was no one on the dirt road, and the only sound was the wind rustling the trees around.

Tonks pulled her jacket closer to her and looked up at Remus, who towered almost a foot over her. "Where did you get those scars on your face?" She looked up, examining the thin lines that lay on his forehead and his cheeks.

"I had a run-in with a bear," Remus said almost immediately. He had been asked the same question many times in his youth, and he had gotten used to the fact that he had to lie about his true identity. If he told anyone, they wouldn't want to be around him.

Tonks eyed him suspiciously, wondering if he was telling the truth. It didn't look as if any normal beast attacked him. She reached up and traced one of the scars with her index finger, a look of confusion clearly written on her face. Remus stopped walking and looked at her, his deep brown eyes studying her pale, flawless face, waiting for a response. Tonks just continued to examine him, unsure of what to think. Everything about Remus was incredibly mysterious, and for some reason, she really liked it.

"Strange," was all she said before she started walking again.

They ended up at the cemetery, where Tonks pointed out James's and Lily's grave. She sat down next to them and read the tombstones, unsure of what to think. These people had died. They were young and innocent. They didn't deserve what they had gotten. "I can't believe Aunt Bella would want to work for a man that has killed so many people," she muttered, brushing her hair out of her face. The wind had picked up, and it was starting to snow harder.

"I can't believe Sirius would want to work for a man like that," Remus said, shoving his hands in his pockets and looking down at the ground. He didn't want to look at the grave. It always made him feel cold and lonely just to look at it.

Tonks looked up at him, blinking furiously to keep the falling snow out of her eyes. She was trying to imagine him when he was younger, more carefree. He didn't know that Sirius was going to sell their best friend out to the Dark Lord. He didn't know that he was going to kill Peter Pettigrew, leaving only a finger to remember him by. He didn't know that James and Lily Potter were going to meet their end at the young age of twenty-one.

"Sirius is my cousin," she told him cautiously. "I knew him for about eight years before he was arrested. No one in the family thought he was capable of it. He was so innocent compared to Regulus and Bellatrix."

Remus nodded, not sure what to say. He just continued to stare at the ground. Wind was brushing his thin brown hair out of his face, blowing cold against his bare skin. "I think we should go," he said, patting Tonks on the back.

Tonks looked up at him again, and then looked back down at the graves. There was an awful lump forming in her stomach, and she wasn't sure if her legs would be able to move. She ran a finger over the letters on the graves, carefully reading the message one more time before climbing to her feet and heading out of the graveyard.

Remus headed back in the direction of his house, and Tonks followed at his heels. He continued on past his house, and Tonks frowned. She knew that he was taking her home. She wasn't quite ready to leave him, but she knew that she must. She knew that he was uncomfortable talking about his past, but she didn't know it was that bad.

When they arrived, Tonks opened the door and walked inside, the sudden heat of the house warming every inch of her body. She smiled graciously and pulled off her jacket. "Do you want to come inside?" she asked.

"No, I need to get home," Remus replied, not meeting her eyes. "Thanks, though." With that, he turned and left, leaving Tonks in a state of utter confusion.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey guys! I just wanted to thank you for being patient with me and for even reading this fanfiction in the first place! I've been trying to keep up with this, school, and play rehearsal. It gets kind of hard sometimes, but I can handle it. Anyways, this is the latest that I have. I will try to update by this weekend. If not, you'll know why. Leave a review telling me what you want to happen next. I'm up for any suggestions. AAAAAAAANNNNNDDDDD...read. (: kthanks.**

Ch. 5

For the next two weeks, Remus didn't hear a word from Tonks. He woke up every morning and waited on his couch, staring at the door for hours at a time. He expected her to show up some time, even if it was just for a few moments. She never came.

He spent Thanksgiving at the Weasleys' house, along with Mad-Eye, Kingsley, Kadir, Heinrich, and a few Ministry workers. He wondered whether the door would burst open and Tonks would come stumbling in, tripping on her own two feet and apologizing for being late. She didn't.

Mrs. Weasley fussed over him almost every second, telling him to stay with them and not go home. She was afraid that he was going to freeze or starve to death by himself. He refused the offer.

"Well, if you won't stay, at least take these," Molly said, thrusting a large box into his arms and smiling generously. "You'll need it."

Remus peered into the box and saw what looked like food piled on top of each other, along with blankets, candles, and a couple of old suits. He looked up at her again and set the box down on the table, heading for the door. "I'm fine, thanks. I can take care of myself."

Molly pursed her lips and glowered at him, her hands on her hips and a look on her face that clearly said she was not amused. "Remus, you cannot. Why do you always end up here? You need someone to help you around the house, someone who can help take care of you-" Her frown slowly turned up into a grin.

Remus knew exactly what she was suggesting to him. "Absolutely not, no," he said, walking toward the door. "I won't even consider it, Molly."

"Oh, Remus!" Molly exclaimed as she glided across the room to him. "She's exactly what you need to lighten up your dull, boring life!"

Remus stared at her like she was crazy. "Dull and boring? I live a very full and interesting life, thank you very much."

Molly laughed, although it was mirthless and cold. "Oh, whatever. Sitting in your living room and drinking all day is not interesting. It's sad-"

"Good night, Molly." With that, he stormed out of the house, slamming the door behind him.

Remus was normally a calm, laidback person. He never raised his voice or argued with anyone. But when the subject turned to Tonks and him, his hidden temper seemed to flare. Yes, he did find himself thinking about her a lot, and yes, he did miss her presence. But did that mean anything? He certainly didn't have any serious feelings toward her. At least, he didn't think that he did. He had only known her for a month now, and she was still a teenager. He had just entered his thirties a few months ago. The only thing he wanted from her was friendship.

On the last day of the month, Remus's thoughts drifted from Tonks to the full moon awaiting him later on. To take his mind off things, he sat in his chair in the corner of the room and read books. He couldn't stay distracted for long, though. The sunlight was dimming through the window, and he knew that his time was growing nearer. He made some coffee and paced the living room, his hand shaking more and more with each sip of the scalding liquid. It had seemed like it was only yesterday since his last transformation. Why did it have to come so soon?

He watched patiently out his window as the clouds slid off of the moon and the ground below was covered by a pale white light. He locked his door and closed his blinds, and then he felt the familiar sharp pain in his chest. The transformation was beginning.

He didn't want to go outside. He couldn't. If he left his house, there could be some innocent person walking down the road, and he might attack them. He couldn't risk it this time. He would rather hurt himself than hurt anyone else. He clawed at the walls, the couch, the floor, himself, and anything that was within reach. He wouldn't remember doing any of it tomorrow morning.

…

He spent a week curled up on his ruined couch, too sickly and tired to get up. He barely ate anything. Normally around this time, Molly would show up to take care of him, but she didn't come. Instead, there was a knock at the door, and Ginny entered.

"Mum told me to bring you this," she said, handing him a jar filled with a thick greenish liquid. "She said she didn't want you to chew her out for trying to take care of you."

"Tell her I said thank you," Remus replied, taking the jar from her and setting it down beside the broken coffee table. "And tell her I'm sorry for yelling at her." He paused to yawn, and then he looked at her again. "Aren't you a little young to be coming all this way by yourself?"

Ginny shook her head. "She didn't want to come." With that, she waved goodbye and walked back out the door.

At that moment in time, Remus realized just how much he missed people being around. Especially Tonks.

….

Christmas was in the air. Snow had fallen in a thick blanket on the ground outside Remus's house. He watched out his back window as children in the village built snow creatures and threw snow at each other. The adults were out in the commons shopping for presents, except for him. He was stuck at home by himself.

He decided, after much consideration, to drop by the Burrow and make amends with Molly. No one was at home. Every day that he went by, the house was completely empty. He assumed that, just like everyone else, they were out Christmas shopping. He didn't have the money to Christmas shop, since he couldn't hold on to a job. The decorations at his house consisted of a three-foot fake tree and one string of lights around his front window frame.

At last, on December 23, there was a knock on his door. Molly peered through the window to let him know that it was her, and then she came in. "Are you feeling okay?" she asked, smiling genuinely at him.

"Fine, thanks," he replied. "Are you having Christmas at your house this year?"

"Actually," Molly began, looking incredibly uncomfortable, "Andromeda and Ted wanted to have it at their house. They told me to invite you. Now, if you don't think you would want to come, just tell me. They won't be offended-"

"Molly," Remus interrupted. "I would love to come. I haven't talked to Tonks in almost a month. I don't know where she's at. It's okay."

Molly smiled and looked out the window as if she was nervous about someone overhearing them. "Remus, do you have feelings for her?" She stopped when she saw the exasperated look on his face, and then continued. "Honestly?"

Remus ran a hand through his hair and sighed. "It's complicated. I can't really explain it." The truth was, Remus still hadn't figured out exactly how he felt yet. He missed her, sure. When she was gone, he felt empty inside. He felt like he could tell her anything without being judged. She made him feel like he was a normal person, like he was ten years younger. Did that mean that he was falling in love?

"I'm not sure," he finally replied, which earned him an eye roll from Molly.

"You must know something." She put her hands on her hips and stared at him intently. "She doesn't think you like her that much. She was afraid she was annoying you. That's why she didn't come back." She paused, as if contemplating on whether to continue. She stared at the floor, and then looked back up at Remus. "She's moved on, Remus. You know that nice young man Alfred who's training to be an Auror? She's seeing him now."

Remus stared at her in disbelief. She was seeing Alfred? But he was so…young. Maybe that was the point. He just didn't understand why, of all people, Alfred. He was short and lanky, with a thick neck and blonde, slicked-back hair. He reminded Remus of an older version of Draco Malfoy. As he had found out from Mad-Eye, Alfred was rich, and he was only going to get richer when he gained his father's inheritance. He walked with a pompous air about him, like he owned the place. He had excelled in every class there was at Hogwarts. Remus could see just why Tonks would like him. He was handsome, rich, and smart. That's what girls wanted, right?

"Are you all right?" Molly asked as she sat down next to him on the couch. "You seem upset."

Remus shook out of his thoughts and looked back at her. "Yes, fine." The truth was, there was a feeling bubbling up inside of him that he wasn't sure of. It could be anger, maybe hatred. Worst of all, he thought it might be envy.

"Remus, if you care about her, you need to prove it. Why don't you go get her something nice and win her back?"

That sounded like an excellent idea. The only problem was that he had no money to buy things with. He sighed and nodded, although he wasn't sure why he was agreeing. He was tired of not knowing what the answer was to why he was doing what he was doing. He wanted an answer. He needed to admit to himself that he really cared. But he refused.

"Well, I suppose I'll see you on Christmas," Molly said, breaking the second awkward silence. "Or you can come eat dinner with us tonight." She smiled and hugged him tightly before getting up and leaving the small shanty.

Remus sat and thought for what seemed like hours. He had to make this work. If anything, he had to win her friendship back. It was a must. He considered all kinds of options, such as taking her back for Auror training. She would enjoy that. He finally settled on one thing. He was going to attempt, just one more time, to get a job.


	6. Chapter 6

**I am so, so sorry that it took me three weeks to update this! I feel terrible. I tried to write, but things just kept coming up, and I lost track of time. Also, I made a mistake in the last chapter on Alfred's appearance. He was described in the first chapter. Go by that description. And hopefully, this chapter is enough to tie you guys over until Friday night. That'll be the next time I can post. Leave reviews telling me what you want to happen next, and maybe I'll use one of your ideas. (:**

Ch. 6

On Christmas Day, Remus left his house and trudged up the big, snow-covered hill that was separating him from Tonks's house. He held in his hands a box with his stereo and his old CD that he never listened to in it. He knew that Tonks had liked it when she was at his house, and he figured that since he couldn't afford to buy a gift, that was the best he could do.

The house he arrived at stood by itself at the foot of the hill, and it was covered in all kinds of Christmas decorations. There were icicles hanging from the roof, and garland laced its way around the front door. A snowman with red hair, a carrot nose, and a smile made out of grapes stood out front. It wore a top hat and a furry jacket, and it carried a cane. He knew that Tonks had built it herself.

As he approached the door, he drew his hand back, unsure of what to do. He had never visited the house before, and he didn't want to intrude, even if he was invited. He peered through the window and was able to see Molly in the kitchen, tending to some turkey. He took a deep breath, gripped his box a little tighter, and knocked.

There were footsteps from within, and Remus peered in the window again to see Tonks heading toward the door, with Alfred in tow. She looked absolutely ravishing. She wore a strapless green dress that fell just above her knees, with a black sweater over the top of it. Her skin was pale, and her eyes were a strange green color to match her dress. Her hair was a fiery red, pulled back in a ponytail with a green bow on the side. Alfred said something to her, and she laughed as she threw back the oak front door.

Her eyes grew wide, and her smile faded. "Remus…" she murmured. "Did Molly invite you?"

Remus gave her a look of contempt. She hadn't cared enough to invite him, but Molly did. It was fairly obvious that she didn't want him here, but he wanted to be there. If he wanted her to remain his friend, he had to fight for her. "Yes," he answered. "May I-?"

"Yes, yes. Come in." She stood aside and allowed him in, shutting the door behind him. "You know Alfred Charleston, right?"

Remus was not one to be rude to people, but he couldn't help it with this man. There was just something about him that he didn't like. He gave him a look of absolute hatred and forced a smile. "Yes, I know Alfred. He's the rich one, right?"

Tonks glanced at Alfred and slowly nodded. "Um…yes. Why don't you…why don't you come help in the kitchen? Or you can go talk with my father and Alfred in the living room. That sounds nice, right?"

Alfred nodded, looking unfazed by Remus's behavior. "Sounds lovely, darling." He kissed her on the cheek and headed toward the living room with Remus following close behind.

He sat on the couch next to Ted Tonks, who looked completely worn out. He held a bottle of firewhiskey out toward Remus, but Remus refused. He was getting rid of his drinking habits as well, if that would help.

"So Remus," Alfred started casually, taking a sophisticated sip of his firewhiskey, "I hear that you're out of job. How's that working out for you?"

Remus glared at him. Was that supposed to be a kind conversation starter? It seemed as if Alfred wanted to point out all of the bad in him, as if he wanted to dig up as much dirt as he could. Remus acted nonchalant, though. He merely shrugged and set his box down beside the couch. "It's fine, actually. I applied for a job down in Godric's Hollow. But what does it matter about money and buying things? It's the joy of living that counts. I don't have to have a fancy house and fancy clothes to be happy." He grinned widely, trying to act as cheerful as he possibly could.

Alfred frowned. His tan face nearly paled several complexions as he took in these words. He stuck his nose up in the air, as if he had just smelled something rotten, and drew back his lips over his pearly white, perfect teeth. "Oh, please. That's only something that poor people tell themselves to make themselves feel better. Right, Mr. Tonks?" He glanced over at Ted, who was half-asleep, his firewhiskey still held in his hand.

Remus grimaced. What could he say without being rude? He didn't want Tonks to get mad at him. He finally decided that, no matter if he was trying to quit or not, he would have a drink. He grabbed the firewhiskey bottle and poured a glass, drinking it down in almost one gulp.

"Nymphadora told me you had drinking problems," Alfred said, chuckling. "Still haven't quit, I see?"

Remus raised an eyebrow. He called her Nymphadora? How did she handle that? She hated being called by her first name. By this time, Remus knew that Alfred was the wrong person for her. He had to win her back. Er, or at least, he had to find someone better for her.

Only a few moments later, Molly bustled into the living room, her hair standing up and her eyes wide, and announced that dinner was ready.

"Oh, delightful," Alfred exclaimed, picking up his glass and scurrying into the dining room.

"Oh, delightful," Remus mimicked as he followed after him.

At the table, Arthur was seated in between Molly and Mad-Eye, and Mad-Eye was seated next to Kadir. Kadir was seated next to Heinrich, who was seated next to Andromeda. Andromeda sat by her husband, Ted. Ginny sat next to him, and beside her was Alfred. Next to him was Tonks, and then Remus next to Molly.

"So…is this everyone?" Andromeda asked awkwardly, smiling kindly. The tension in the room was high, and everyone could tell that she was incredibly uncomfortable. "Good," she said without an answer, "I'll carve the turkey."

After handing out portions of every food, no one moved except for Ted and Mad-Eye, who seemed completely oblivious to the strange feeling looming over everyone. At the sight of Mad-Eye eating, all the younger Aurors-in-training followed his lead. Everyone seemed to take this as their chance to eat as well.

"Can I please have some wine?" Alfred asked, holding out his glass toward Andromeda. "Firewhiskey is such an unsophisticated drink. It shouldn't be drunk at dinner."

Ted glanced at him silently and carefully pushed his glass of firewhiskey aside.

Remus stared at Alfred in disgust. Since when did he believe that he was hanging out with a bunch of rich, snobby people on Christmas? He smiled and held out his glass toward Andromeda as well. "I'll have some more firewhiskey," he said.

Andromeda raised an eyebrow, and he thought he saw the faintest sign of a smile pass over her face before she poured him a glass.

Tonks glanced at him, but he was careful not to look back at her. He might be tempted to pour out all of his feelings to her, whatever those feelings were. She only looked for a second though, because her mother had begun talking to her.

"How is everything at Auror training?" she asked, smiling what looked to be a forced smile at Alfred. "Having fun?"

Alfred chuckled in his "sophisticated" way. "Oh, no. It is most definitely not fun. The job isn't supposed to be fun, though. It's just supposed to be helpful. But of course, the training is probably the worst part. Am I right, sir?" He glanced at Mad-Eye.

Mad-Eye grunted in response.

"Nymphadora tripped and hit her head the other day," he continued, as if Mad-Eye hadn't just ignored him. "She failed the section dealing with balance and agility."

Everyone turned to look at Tonks, who smiled meekly. "I'm retaking it."

Remus rolled his eyes and downed his drink before pouring himself another glass. By this time, almost everyone was done with their food. He waited patiently as Molly and Andromeda shared housekeeping secrets and gossiped about people from the village of Ottery St. Catchpole. Ted listened, uninterested, as Alfred talked about his excellent grades and how badly he wanted to become the most well-known Auror in history.

After about a half hour, Andromeda and Molly started to clean up, and everyone else retired to the living room.

"So there I was, right?" Alfred was telling them, his glass of wine held high and a cocky smile gracing his face, "It was my brother and my best mate and me. We were out in the forest, completely alone, for detention. That old oaf Hagrid had gotten himself lost, and we were lost as well. So I hear a growling somewhere nearby, and I whip out my wand. And as my brother and friend stand behind me, scared out of their half-wits, I walk ahead and see a bloody werewolf running loose in the forest! So I stow my wand in my robes and pull out my spear, and when the ugly brute turns around and sees me, I throw my spear right through its chest! I stood triumphantly over it until it bled to death."

"That'll come in handy, you know," Mad-Eye murmured as he shoveled a second helping of pumpkin pie into his mouth. "Knowing how to kill such Dark creatures like that."

"Oh, thank you, sir!" Alfred exclaimed, chuckling. "I plan on going after Dark creatures rather than Dark wizards. They're more of a…challenge to me, you know? I consider it somewhat like a game."

Remus almost dropped his glass in astonishment. Alfred had killed a werewolf before, and he wasn't planning on stopping with just that one? He knew right then that if Alfred ever found out about him being a werewolf, Alfred would not waste time in throwing a spear through his chest. But maybe he deserved to die…No! He had to shake thoughts like that out of his head. He glanced across the room at Arthur, who was sitting quietly, and Arthur glanced back at him. They connected eyes, and then they quickly looked away. There was no use in discussing the subject any further.

"I think I've heard tell of a werewolf that runs loose in Ottery St. Catchpole!" Alfred shouted, as if completely shocked. "To think…in this little old village! A werewolf! I guess I'll have to investigate that further, eh, Moody?"

Mad-Eye looked up at him, his magical eye swiveling in every direction, and nodded. "Yes, I suppose. It'd be quite a task."

Remus let his fingers slip, and his glass dropped to the ground, shattering into a million pieces and staining the carpet with firewhiskey. He glanced around the room, and Mad-Eye, Molly, and Arthur refused to look at him. Everyone else stared hard at him, confused.

"Erm…sorry," he murmured, beginning to pick up the glass.

"It's quite alright, dear," Andromeda said, immediately jumping up from her seat and rushing to clean up the mess. "Do you want me to get you another glass of firewhiskey?"

"Yes, please," Remus replied, still stunned. He looked up at everyone else, but the only person who seemed to be paying attention to him was Alfred. Alfred's eyes narrowed in suspicion before he looked away and began a conversation with Kadir.

When the party finally broke up around seven that evening, Remus decided that he might as well leave. He took a last sip of his drink and rose from his seat, wobbling slightly. Maybe he had had one too many drinks. All he knew was that it would most definitely be a struggle to get home tonight. He could hardly see where he was going. The room was spinning, and everything was doubled. He took a step, but he almost fell onto the couch.

"Alright there, dear?" Andromeda asked as Ted snored loudly in the corner. The sounds seemed to jumble with each other.

"Um…yes, fine," he replied, taking another shaky step.

Andromeda's smile fell a little, and she glanced at Tonks and Alfred in the corner. "Dora, sweetie, do you think you and Alfred could take Remus home? He seems a little…out of it."

Remus swallowed hard and blinked several times, trying to clear his vision. It didn't help. When Tonks's reply finally came, her voice was cold and unforgiving. "Yes, of course."

Remus felt her hand around her arm seconds later, and he could feel her nails digging into his skin. Although he couldn't see where she really was, he could tell that she was not too happy.

"Nymphadora," Alfred called as he followed after them. "Can you please change your hair color? That red doesn't look suitable on you. No one needs to see that."

Her grip on Remus tightened, but he wasn't sure if the anger was directed toward him this time. "Yes, of course." Her hair quickly became a dull, mousy brown color.

The walk over the hill to Godric's Hollow was long and almost painful. Several times, Remus stumbled in the snow, and Tonks always had to pick him up. She wore a dark, irritated look on her face, and her grip on him only got tighter and tighter each step of the way.

"Oh, is this where you live?" Alfred asked, which made Remus only assume that they were back at his house. "It's quite…filthy. When was the last time you cleaned up here?"

Remus did not reply. Instead, he blinked again and reached into the air, searching blindly for his doorknob. He finally heard the door creak open, and he was led inside.

"I'm going to go search for the werewolf, Nymphadora!" Alfred called. "I don't feel as if I should present myself in such a filthy place as this." With that, he was gone.

Tonks carefully led Remus into the house, examining the broken furniture that had yet to be repaired and the scratches on the wall. She didn't ask questions, though. She brutally shoved Remus onto the couch and covered him with a blanket.

Remus blinked again, and then he saw Tonks's face come into focus. "Can you see me?" she asked, her voice much kinder than it had been about an hour ago.

Remus felt her cold hand touch his face, and he nodded and groaned.

"I warned you about drinking," she continued. "I told you that you should stop. Promise me it won't happen again?"

Remus nodded again. "Promise."

"Good." Tonks glanced behind her, and then she turned back to Remus. "Merry Christmas, Remus. I'll see you later." She shivered a little and started toward the door.

"Take my coat," Remus murmured. "I don't want you to be cold." He looked up and thought he made eye contact with Tonks, and he saw her slowly take the coat off the rack and leave.

It only took a few seconds for Remus to fall asleep.


	7. Chapter 7

**Sorry! So, so sorry that it took longer than expected! I feel terrible. My director in the play that I'm in scheduled unexpected play rehearsals, and that consumed my time. Plus, I got suckered into another play and had double rehearsals. But, I'm trying to get this written faster. I hope you guys don't stop reading because of slow updates. :( But on a brighter note, did anybody go see the Deathly Hallows? What did you think? Did you feel cheated on Tonks and Lupin scenes? I sure did. Leave a review, tell me what you thought. (:**

Ch. 7

For days after that, Remus woke up every morning to see Alfred trudging through the village, spear in hand, waiting for any sign of any creature that didn't belong. He was accompanied by Heinrich and Mad-Eye, who sat on the hill and watched over the village for hours at a time.

One day, Mad-Eye decided to walk down to Remus's house, just to check out some things. Remus thrust the door open as quickly as he possibly could and pulled him in, shutting the door behind him.

"What. The hell. Are you doing?" he hissed. "There's only one monster around these parts, and I'm fairly sure you know who it is."

Mad-Eye stared at him, blinking his one eye slowly, as if he didn't understand.

Remus sighed in exasperation. "Are you mad?"

"Obviously," Mad-Eye replied. "I just don't understand why you're so upset."

"Alfred is after a werewolf, am I right?" Remus asked. Mad-Eye nodded. "I am that werewolf. You can't let him find that out."

Mad-Eye nodded again, slowly. "Well, I knew that you were a werewolf in the area, but I didn't know he was talking about you-"

"Do you know of anyone else?" Remus interrupted. Mad-Eye shook his head. "Good. Then get them out of here, and don't bring them back. He could have caught me the other night."

Mad-Eye left, and with him he took Heinrich. Alfred, however, refused to leave. He hung around constantly, throwing his spear in nearby trees and making sure his aim was good. Remus watched him out of his back window, making sure that he didn't wander too close to the house.

Around the middle of January, Remus was informed that he received the job in the village, and he would be starting the next day. He was so excited by this news that he contemplated on whether or not he should pass the word on to Tonks. She would be excited for him as well. He finally decided, after much debate, that he would go. As he grabbed his thin, shabby jacket and opened the door, he jumped in surprise. There was Tonks, with her hand balled into a fist, prepared to knock on the door.

"Remus…" she said, walking into the house without invitation.

Remus shut the door, although that did not keep the chill out of his house. Tonks shivered, and her hair turned a soft, subtle blue, as if it was showing just how cold she was.

"Tonks…" he said, clearing his throat.

She sat down on his couch and examined the torn arm of it and the stuffing that was lying all over the floor. "Thank you," she said, not making eye contact with him.

Remus shuffled his feet nervously and sat down next to her. The couch creaked, threatening to break at any given moment. "For what?"

"For my Christmas present," she said. "I found it when I got home. It meant a lot to me, you know." She smiled at him and glanced out the window, which was covered in a thick layer of frost.

Remus had completely forgotten about the present that he planned on giving her. He was so focused on pissing Alfred off that he didn't even remember. He smiled a little at her and nodded, still not meeting her eyes. "Well, er…you're welcome. It's not much, but-"

"I loved it." She finally looked up at him, her eyes a deep, stormy blue that matched her hair. The corner of her mouth twitched, as if she was nervous. She stared at him intently, thoughts flooding through her head, but none of them could be said.

"I got a job," Remus finally said, breaking the silence. "I'll be starting tomorrow."

Tonks smiled widely. "Oh, congratulations. You needed something to occupy your time."

Remus nodded. "Yes. Maybe in a year or so, I'll be out of this place."

Tonks didn't seem to hear him. It was as if she didn't care about what he was telling her, like she had more important things to discuss. She ran a finger over the loose wallpaper hanging from the wall, and then she looked back at him, tilting her head slightly. "How do you feel about Alfred?"

Remus felt his eye twitch. How was he supposed to answer that? He couldn't honestly tell her that he hated him with a burning, fiery passion. He couldn't share with her his biggest secret, the worry about losing his life. He could share any information with her besides this. "He's alright," he finally settled on saying.

Tonks nodded and started playing with the fabric on the couch, which was unraveling badly. "He's…unique, isn't he?" She laughed, though it didn't seem to have any feeling. "He keeps me under control. I'm starting to learn a few things from him."

Remus could hardly hold it in any longer. He wanted so badly to tell her his true feelings, but he was battling with himself. Did he care for her? Did he want to be more that friends with her? It was the most difficult problem he had ever had to solve in his life. He finally decided that, no, he did not. It was too risky, and she was too young. It wasn't worth it. All of these feelings that he felt must have been protective, fatherly instincts. Yes, that was it.

"Remus," Tonks said suddenly, her voice turning to urgency. She moved closer to him, her hands on his shoulder and her mouth right next to his ear. "I have to tell you something."

Remus gulped, his eyes widening, and nodded.

"Mad-Eye decided that it's time to put us to a task. He's sending us away for a few months. Three, to be exact. He won't tell us where we're going, and he won't tell us what we'll be doing. He wants us to learn on our own for a while." Tonks moved away from him, her eyes filled with tears. "I'd be a liar if I said that I wasn't scared. What do I do, Remus? What if I can't accomplish the task? I'm so clumsy! I don't know why I even wanted to be an Auror! I can't do it-"

Remus grabbed her shoulders and turned her toward him, causing her to look up at him again. "I don't know what you're doing, either. I don't know where you'll be going, and I don't know how he plans on you surviving in an unknown place for so long. But you know what I do know? You can handle it. You don't need someone to take care of you all the time. I, unfortunately, do. If I were sent on this task, I wouldn't survive the first day. You'll be fine, I promise. I have faith in you."

Those seemed to be the magic words. Tonks wiped her eyes and sniffled, and then a watery smile crept onto her face. "Thank you, Remus. I'll be leaving in a week. Be sure to write me every day. The owl will surely be able to find me."

Remus nodded. "I will. Every day."

"And be sure to come see me before I leave."

"I will."

Tonks shivered again and got up from the couch. "Thank you. You're a great person, Remus, really."

As she walked toward the door, Remus followed after her to see her out. She opened the door, and a chilly breeze blew into the already cold home. Tonks turned to look at him one last time. She couldn't resist. She wrapped her arms around him and clung closely to him, resting her head on his chest. She was afraid that he would shove her away. He didn't.

Remus was actually taken aback by the gesture. He glanced down at the top of her head, and then he carefully wrapped his arms around her as well, pulling her close. Although the hug was long, it seemed like it was only seconds when Tonks finally let go. She looked at him awkwardly and walked out into the snow, without saying goodbye.

….

Remus found himself up early the next morning, eager to go to his first day on the job. He got dressed and ate a piece of stale bread before heading out into the freezing cold. He realized that he still had an hour to kill before the shop opened, and he decided to walk through the village, and once again, he would visit James's and Lily's graves.

Alfred had apparently decided that he needed to be up early as well. He was patrolling the cobblestone road in Godric's Hollow, examining almost every inch of land there was to see that wasn't covered in thick snow. Remus watched him as he ran a finger over his spear, and then he stopped mid-step and glanced in the direction of the graveyard. He darted through the deep snow and froze when he reached a tree close to the entrance. Remus didn't have to even see the tree to know that that was the one he had brutally attacked only a couple of months ago. Hesitating only a moment, he quickly fled the village and went back into his house.

After hiding out for almost half an hour, Remus made his way back outside, carefully scouring the area for Alfred first. There was no sign of him, so he proceeded to walk into the village again, this time more cautiously. He couldn't afford for Alfred to know anything about the werewolf running loose in the area.

He walked past the graveyard, not even bothering to glance in its direction, and continued to walk down the cobblestone road until he reached a dilapidated, old, rundown house. The roof had caved in, and there was ivy creeping up along the side of the house. Icicles clung to the edge of the roof, and snow had covered the used-to-be floor of the cozy, little home. He put a hand on the wooden railing that had been set up around the house, and that was when he noticed all the writing on it. "We miss you dearly, Lily and James"; "Harry Potter, The-Boy-Who-Lived"; "You'll always be in my heart"; and other such messages were scrawled in all different handwritings. He then glanced at the golden plaque that was hung on the fence, announcing to anyone that cared that that building was the place where the Dark Lord was defeated, and where a mother gave her life for her baby boy, who was the only person known to survive a Killing Curse.

He peered over at the miniature shops in the village commons, and he noticed that other people were making their way to work. He took one last look at the Potters' old home, and then he headed to the commons and walked into the open door of the book shop that he was now working at.

The atmosphere was rather soothing. There was a place in the back where they brewed coffee and other drinks, and there were shelves filled with books of all shapes and sizes, some old and some new. There was soft music playing, and there were tables set up so people could sit and read for as long as they wished. Remus found himself for once at peace. That is, until Alfred barged in, his wand in his hand and his spear tucked into what looked to be a leather pouch.

"Alright, I hate to ruin your day or anything," Alfred said, glancing at the small young woman who managed the shop, "but I need some questions answered. On the night of a full moon, have you ever seen anything suspicious around here? Anything at all?"

Remus rolled his eyes. It was clear that the woman was still startled by the sudden entrance, and she didn't look as if she understood the question all too well. "Alfred, don't you have better things to do? Shouldn't you be packing for your task? Or maybe spending time with Tonks?"

Alfred turned to face him, and his lips curled into a malicious smile, although his eyes looked confused. "Why, whatever do you mean, Remus? Nymphadora and I will be spending loads of time together for the next three months, while you're stuck here in this old place. And please, don't call her by her surname. That's not very classy, you know."

"I don't know what you're talking about," the woman, named Sarah, finally replied. "There aren't any werewolves or vampires or goblins or anything else running loose in these parts. I think you're wasting your time."

Alfred snorted and looked at Remus. "What about you? Noticed any werewolves lurking around lately?"

Remus shrugged. "Not at all."

Alfred paused for a moment, as if he was deep in thought, and then his eyes narrowed in suspicion. As he stared at Remus, his hand found its way to the top of the spear. He looked, for just a moment, as if he was going to whip it out and throw it, but instead, he harrumphed and stalked out of the store.

Sarah glanced at Remus with an utterly bemused look upon her face, but she didn't ask any questions. Instead, she pretended to be preoccupied with sorting books.

…..

Days passed by, and Remus could feel the time crashing in on him. Tonks would be leaving tomorrow, and he might not hear from her for a while. There was no clear way he could know for sure that he could send her a letter successfully. But maybe that would be best, he thought. Maybe he shouldn't write her. Maybe, if he completely extinguished her from his life, then he could be at peace again. Maybe he wouldn't feel his stomach drop whenever he thought about her, and maybe he wouldn't feel like he was seeing her for the first time every time she walked through his door. Maybe he could sleep again, without dreams invading his head and without worrying about her or Alfred finding out his secret. Maybe he could keep her and himself out of danger.

Yes, he had to. He had to completely act as if she never existed, as if they never met. He wanted her to be safe. Even though he still didn't approve of Alfred, he knew deep down that she was better off with Alfred than she would ever be with him. So it was decided. Even though he was breaking a promise that he had made to her, he would fail to show up at her house to bid her farewell, and he would cut off all communication with her. It was for the best, right?

…..

The next morning, Tonks woke up late. No one had bothered to wake her up, and she only had about thirty minutes before Mad-Eye was planning on leaving. She hadn't even packed yet. As she started throwing all of her necessaries into the small bag that she was permitted to take with her, she rushed into the living room, where Alfred was sitting and talking to her mother.

"Did anyone think to wake me up?" she asked, running a hand through her badly messed up purple hair.

"Sorry, sweetie. Thought you were already up," Andromeda said.

Like any other teenager would, Tonks rolled her eyes and rushed back into her room. Getting ready in the morning was not such a big deal for her, since she was a Metamorphmagus, but she still needed to take a bath and get dressed. Surprisingly, that only took her about fifteen minutes. As she rushed back into her room, she changed her hair back to her natural mousy brown color, and it was neatly pulled back in a ponytail, looking as if it had already been brushed. This looked bored Tonks beyond belief. As she looked in the mirror at herself, she felt disgusted. It was unusual, her hair not being a bright, vivid color, but if that was what Alfred wanted, then so be it.

"Do you have everything ready?" Andromeda asked as her daughter flounced into the room, looking more exhausted than she looked before.

Tonks nodded and tossed her bag onto her shoulders while shoving her wand into her jacket pocket. It was just like her to wake up late and almost miss out. It would not be the first time that this had happened to her.

The door busted open only a few seconds later, and Mad-Eye barged in, carrying his walking stick and a bag filled with potions.

"Alright, are we ready here? Heinrich and Kadir are meeting us here. We'll give them another five minutes."

Tonks looked out the window anxiously, but all she saw was snow and frost. She waited for a tall figure to come walking down the snow-laden hill toward her house, but there was nothing.

The door swung open a couple minutes later, and she heard Heinrich and Kadir speaking in low voices with Mad-Eye. She could hear their voices, but she was barely conscious of what they were saying. She was about to leave, right at this moment, and he hadn't even come to bid her farewell. He had lied to her. It felt like her whole world was crashing down around her. He was the one person that she had run to so often, the one that she could trust with everything. And he had lied to her.

"Tonks, will you get away from the bloody window and let's get going?" Mad-Eye said in his gruff voice, walking over to her. She could hear his wooden leg clinking against the floor toward her, and she knew that she was about to have to go. But she thought maybe, in those five seconds that she had left, he might appear.

"Honey, are you alright?" Alfred said, wrapping his arms around her waist. His voice had no concern in it at all. "Are you going to be up to the trip?"

"She better," Mad-Eye grunted. "Otherwise, she won't pass."

Tonks could feel tears welling up in her eyes as she turned away from the window, but she quickly flicked them away before anyone could notice. "I'm coming," she murmured. "Bye, Mum. Tell Daddy I said bye too."

Andromeda rushed to Tonks and hugged her tightly, bidding her farewell. Tonks grabbed her bag from the living room and walked outside with the four men. She checked the snowy hill just one more time, but she already knew that there would be nothing there. She turned back to Mad-Eye, who was going on about the spells he had recently taught them, but she wasn't hearing him. She had been hurt too deeply to care anymore. The one thing that was keeping her hanging on to hope was maybe, just maybe, he would write her sometime.

Mad-Eye stuck out a worn boot to them, and they had to grab on. As she placed her hand on it, it felt as if her feet were jerked out from beneath her. She was rising, rising into the air, and everything was a blur. She felt like she was twirling in midair, and then she flopped onto hard ground, right next to Heinrich.

When she rose, rubbing her head from where she had hit it, she saw hundreds of trees surrounding her. The sky was bright and blue, and the sun hung overhead. "Where are we?" Alfred asked, wrinkling his nose. There was a smell of dead animal in the air.

"Welcome to South America, kids," Mad-Eye said, rising to his feet. "You'll be spending the next three months here. This forest we're in now, it's possibly the most dangerous forest you will ever come across, minus the Forbidden Forest. I'll be leaving, and you'll be left on your own. We'll see who can conquer over the Dark Arts lying in this place. I'll be back in three months. Don't go looking for others wizards or witches to take care of you, either. Not unless it's absolutely necessary. Got it?" He paused for only a second. "Good. Any questions?" Another pause. "Alright, I'll be leaving now."

"Wait, I have a question-" Tonks began, but he had already Apparated. At that, she knew that it was over. The next three months of her life would be more lonely than she had ever imagined.


	8. Chapter 8

**Wow, I got this up much faster than I thought I would. I'm sorry if the chapter sounds rushed. It kind of is. Well, leave a review. Tell me what you want to happen. If you like it, tell your friends. You guys are awesome! Thanks for reading!**

Ch. 8

It had been a month now. She had waited every day, staring up into the sky as they built their fire, hoping to see the outline of an owl against the night sky. She never did.

As the sky dimmed and Tonks crawled into her tent to look for her wand that she had lost, she heard a scream from behind her. She quickly turned around and saw Heinrich and Alfred on the edge of the clearing, arguing like they never had before. Over the past month, they had all gotten tired of seeing each other all the time. Heinrich and Alfred were always finding reasons to fight, and Tonks couldn't necessarily say she blamed them. She had a tent all to herself and found herself alone quite a bit, while Heinrich, Alfred, and Kadir had to share a tent with each other.

Heinrich, unlike Alfred, was small and squirrely, and he seemed to not care so much about being in the wilderness. It was like it came natural to him. Alfred, on the other hand, freaked out every time things didn't go his way or when he got dirty or when he had to work.

"Don't you understand?" he always said. "I'm not a maid, I'm not a cook, and I'm not a butler! Why are we doing this? It has nothing to do with defeating the Dark Arts."

Heinrich had looked at that moment like he wanted to attack, but Kadir had been able to break it up. He seemed to be the peacemaker of the group.

"You two are acting like children," Kadir said, stepping in between the two of them. Heinrich had raised a large branch over his head, and Alfred had his wand out. "Please, can we grow up and be responsible? I know Tonks is getting tired of it."

Alfred seemed to listen to that. He glanced over at the tents, where Tonks was sitting outside staring at them, and he lowered his wand. "Alright. I'll go to the river and get some fish. Heinrich, you rest. You've been working hard."

Heinrich nodded at him, kind of like an apology, and headed toward his tent.

Tonks resumed her searching, knowing that if she didn't find her wand soon, she could be in some serious trouble. As she rummaged through her bag, her fingers ran across a smooth object that she didn't recognize. She pulled it out and stared at it, and she felt her eyes fill with tears. It was the CD that Remus had passed on to her. She must have grabbed it by mistake. She sniffled a little, wiped her eyes, and replaced it in her bag, trying not to think of him. He had broken a promise. He was ignoring her. He didn't want her around…

"Tonks?" She heard the flap of her tent being pulled back, and she double-checked to make sure that there were no leftover tears. She didn't want any questions to be asked.

Kadir entered and sat down next to her. She scooted over to allow room for him, although she was confused as to why he was here.

"You're not yourself anymore," he said bluntly, ignoring the baffled look on her face. "I mean, not because we are camping. None of us are ourselves lately. I'm just saying that you do not seem happy. You are not bright and colorful. You seem dull. Are you alright?"

Tonks shifted uncomfortably, not sure of what to tell him. They had never really been close friends. She didn't understand why he suddenly started to care. "I'm fine, Kadir. Really. Thanks for checking in on me." She smiled and grabbed her bag, thinking that it was the end of the conversation, but when Kadir didn't leave, she looked up again. "Anything else?"

"Your hair is your natural hair color. It is boring, unlike you. You walk around like a lost puppy. You barely speak to us, unless you have to. You just look so…I don't know. Bored with life?" Kadir raised an eyebrow and frowned a little. "I admired you when we went to Hogwarts, you know. You were popular. Every time I looked down the drab, plain hallways and all I saw was gray stone walls and black robes, I looked for you. You always lit up the school. Your personality, your looks, your outlook on life. It was like a fire that lit up the room, and it always made me smile. That fire is gone."

Tonks shrugged and pulled her knees closer to her. A breeze had rolled in from the surrounding mountains. "I don't know. Alfred doesn't think a mature young woman should-"

"That is the problem," Kadir said, looking her right in the eye. "Alfred is the problem. I'm going to be honest with you. If I had a choice, I would not be training with Alfred. He is…an ass. He is only here because he wants to be famous. He should be working in a different branch at the Ministry, but he doesn't feel like that will get him anywhere. He is quite brainless, you know. He is making a fool of himself out there trying to catch fish. He doesn't know what he is doing. He's sucking the happiness right out of your life. Is any of that a lie?"

Tonks opened her mouth to speak, but then shook her head.

"That's what I thought," Kadir said. "Now tell me about this Lupin fellow. How are things with him?"

Tonks's eyes widened, and she suddenly wanted to throw him out of the tent and go to bed. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't lie. I see the way your eyes brighten when he walks in the room. I see you stealing glances at him when you don't think anyone is watching. You were absolutely devastated when he didn't want to help train you. What is going on there?"

Tonks shrugged and frowned. "Nothing. He doesn't want to have anything to do with me."

Kadir grimaced, like he was trying to process that information. "I'm sure that is not true. Why are you wasting your time with Alfred? You deserve better than him."

Once again, she shrugged. "I'm settling."

…

So far, so good. It had been a month, and he hadn't even considered writing her a letter. He had no idea where she was, and he found himself thinking less and less of her every day. He didn't care anything about her anymore. The only problem was that all of that was a huge lie.

Every time he looked out the window at the hill he had trekked across to get to her house, he hated himself more and more. He pulled out a piece of paper every night and sat down on his broken couch, and he laid it on his broken coffee table and held a dripping quill over it for what seemed like hours. He couldn't find words to write, and he ended up crumpling the stained paper up, throwing it in the corner, and curling up under a blanket to go to sleep. He didn't sleep at all those nights. He stared at the wall, his thoughts drifting to where she was, what she was doing, if she was with Alfred at that moment…

He had a feeling every morning when he gathered enough strength to get out of bed and head off to work that he was going to get fired. He was used to lack of sleep and energy, but none like this. He had slacked off and often found himself sneaking off on break just to get five or ten minutes of sleep. This month, he had taken four days off for his condition and was visited by the manager while he was curled up on his couch sick. He had almost told her what was wrong with him just to get her to leave him alone. He was so tired that he couldn't even remember what he was doing half the time.

Molly Weasley visited frequently, making sure that he was alright. He had become distant from her, though. She only stayed a little while, because he didn't want to talk to her. Occasionally, Mad-Eye dropped in, but Remus didn't want to talk to him either. He felt like he had become isolated from all of his friends lately, but he couldn't really help it. It was difficult. He had never had a girl that he worried about all the time, one that invaded his thoughts at the early hours of the night. He didn't know how to handle it.

On the tenth day of March, Molly invited him over for dinner, and reluctantly, he went. He knew that it was a birthday dinner for him. They did it almost every year. She treated him like he was part of the family, and he didn't know if he should be annoyed or pleased by that.

"Surprise!" she yelled when he had opened the door. Everyone else in the room sat quietly.

"Honestly, Molly. It's not a surprise anymore," he said as he took off his coat. "You can stop that any time."

Molly seemed not to have heard him as she bustled past him into the kitchen. "I have a cake, and the meat's a little raw. Just the way you like it!" She walked out carrying a plate just for him and another plate for everyone else. He suddenly felt disgusted with himself. "Well, don't just stand around. Sit down!" She beamed at him and darted back into the kitchen.

Remus sat down next to Arthur, who was examining a plug that the Muggles use. "Evening, Remus," he said. "Care to have a look?" He held out the plug.

"Oh, no. I've seen them."

"Fascinating, aren't they?" Arthur seemed incredibly happy, as did everyone else. Wasn't Remus the one that was supposed to be happy? It was his birthday, after all. He was turning thirty-two.

"I made your favorite kind of cake," Molly said as she came back in with more plates and sat down next to him. "Red velvet. Cream cheese icing."

"Sounds great," he murmured as he poured himself a glass of wine.

Molly stared at him in that way that she always did. Halfway confused, halfway angry. "What is your problem? Cheer up, will you? It's your birthday. You have wonderful food to eat and wonderful friends to spend it with. You should be grateful."

Remus nodded and took a sip of his drink. "You're right, I should."

"Now wait just a second-" She stopped abruptly and stared at him again, mouth agape. She obviously wasn't used to Remus agreeing with her. "Alright, well. That's all very well. Go ahead and eat, everyone."

Remus had finally come to the conclusion that he had been a drag lately, and he hated being the most boring of the group. He joined in their conversations about Muggle products, Ministry policies, and Hogwarts. Four of the Weasley children were at Hogwarts now, and their parents were able to get more news than anyone. He even joined in their drinking games that they played. Even though he had tried to stop drinking for the sake of Tonks. But what did that matter now? They were not on speaking terms anymore.

"Happy birthday, Remus," Molly said as she hugged him goodnight. "I'm glad that you weren't brooding in the corner like you normally are. It's a nice change."

"Thanks for the dinner, Molly," he said. "It was delicious. I need to get home, though. Work tomorrow."

…

Close to the end of the month, as he was packing up to go home, his manager Sarah approached him, looking completely exhausted. "I have to get home in a couple of hours. My daughter is having a sleepover, and I need to be there. Can you lock up tonight?"

Remus looked out the window. The sun was setting, and in a short while, the full moon would rise into the sky. Normally he would be leaving at this time. "I need to get home too. I have work to do there."

Sarah sighed. "I don't trust anyone else. Can you please stay?"

Remus agreed, reluctantly. He could hear a voice inside his head telling him to leave, that the end result of tonight would be disastrous. He ignored it. He had to do what he had to do.

The moon seemed to rise faster than it normally did. While Sarah was in the back cleaning up, Remus watched the sky. The clouds were rolling back, and the moon was coming into full view. In only moments, he would be transforming. He had to leave.

"Sarah, I'm not feeling very well," he shouted so that she could hear him.

Sarah emerged from the back carrying a stack of books. "Alright then. Go home. We'll close early."

As he gathered his things from behind the counter and rushed toward the door, he knew that he was too late. The moonlight was shining through the door into his face. He dropped his coat on the floor, and he could feel his senses fading away. His eyes changed into small, beady black circles. His legs elongated, claws sprouted from his fingers. He growled and swiped at a shelf of books next to him. They fell to the floor.

"Remus?" Sarah questioned as she walked into the room. He heard a scream. He could smell her scent before he saw her. He stalked toward the back of the store where she stood, too stunned to move. As he raised a mighty paw to strike, she managed to run around him and get out the door. He followed closely after, though he went in the opposite direction, toward the small houses in the village.

…

When he awoke the next morning, he couldn't recollect anything that had happened the night before. He remembered standing in the store and dropping his coat. He remembered seeing the moon overhead. But that was all. He stood up and started toward the bookstore just a short distance away. When he looked in the window, he knew that he was in trouble. Books were strewn all over the floor, and it looked like a table had been knocked over. Coffee stains covered the carpet. Sarah must know now…

He grabbed his coat off the floor in order to cover himself up and ran toward his house as quickly as possible. He had to get away from the village. It wasn't safe anymore. He threw back the door so powerfully that it broke off its hinges, and he rushed to his closet. He grabbed as much clothes as he could and threw them into his briefcase, and he scoured the rest of the house for necessities. He had to go before Sarah could get into the village. But he was so weak…

He pulled himself together and grabbed some books off the shelf, some papers from the kitchen, and his wand. Without a second glance, he walked outside and Apparated right next to the Burrow.

Molly must have heard the crack. The door opened before he had even knocked. "Is everything okay?" she asked, a look of concern on her face.

"Can I stay here for a while?"

She nodded and let him in, no questions asked.


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey guys! I've had this chapter written for a while, and I just kept forgetting to post it. But here it is! Hope it's worth the wait! **

Tonks watched as the boys packed their tent away and gathered their things from the ground. Surprisingly, she was the first one done cleaning up her camping area. She had woken up early in order to get ready, unable to sleep through the night. She knew that today was the day they were going back home, and she was more than prepared to do so. She couldn't wait to get to Remus's house and see the look on his face when she confronted him. That would teach him to lie to her.

"Nymphadora," Alfred said as he approached her. "You were up early today. Are you alright?"

She shrugged. "Just ready to go home."

The whole trip had been a waste of time. Although they were in the most dangerous forest in the world, they had luckily only been confronted with a few mermen, a grindylow, a few hinkypunks, and a Blast-Ended Skrewt. The creatures were easily handled. It was each other that they had a hard time dealing with. Heinrich and Alfred refused to talk to each other. If they seemed to cross each other's path, they would shoot a glare at one another and move on. Kadir didn't hang around Tonks too much after their little chat for fear of upsetting Alfred. Not that that mattered, anyway. Alfred barely had anything to do with her through the whole trip. He was too busy trying to look cooler than Heinrich.

There was a crack from behind them, and they turned around to see Mad-Eye standing there with his walking stick, his magical blue eye swiveling around at all of them. "Well? How was it?" he asked.

"Boring," Heinrich replied. "We hardly did anything."

Mad-Eye glanced around at the clean campground and sighed. "Well, I expected something to attack. I guess not. Hmm…" He paused, as if considering something. "Well, I guess we should get going and get back to regular training. How does that sound?"

"Wonderful," Kadir answered, and the other three agreed. As soon as they got home, maybe their high tensions and hatred toward each other would fade.

"Portkey is just over the hill." Mad-Eye pointed with his walking stick, and they all followed him out of the forest.

….

"Dora, you're home!" her mother exclaimed as soon as she walked in the door. Before she had time to take a breath, her mother had embraced her tightly in her arms. "How was everything? Did you get hurt? Are you hungry? Did you have a hard time sleeping? Did you miss me?"

Tonks rolled her eyes and pulled away from her mom. "Can I get inside before you start interviewing me, _Mother_?" She set her bag down and started toward the kitchen.

She heard her mom huff from behind her, but she ignored her. "You're hardly even inside and you're already getting an attitude?" Andromeda said, following close behind her. "What's the matter?"

Tonks grabbed a bag of chips out of the cabinet and pulled out a handful, stuffing them in their mouth. "Nothing. Didn't sleep well last night. Sorry, Mum."

"It's alright. Are you going to tell me what happened? Did you have fun?" Her eyes, which resembled her sister Bellatrix's greatly, widened with excitement. "Was it difficult?"

Tonks replaced the chips in the cabinet. "Later. I have some things that I need to do first." At her mother's confused look, she added, "I'll be back in an hour or so. Don't worry." She glanced in the mirror beside the door to make sure that she looked angry enough. She watched as her dull brown hair changed into a bright, fiery red, and she nodded. This would work. She wanted him to see just how furious she was with him before she even spoke.

She trudged over the wet, muddy hill and stood at the top of it for a second, staring down at the little village down below and letting the bright sun hit her skin. There was the entrance to Godric's Hollow, a large metal fenced wrapped snugly around its outskirts. And there, right beside the entrance, was his home. She felt new anger boiling inside of her, bubbling up and ready to overflow. Not wanting to wait any longer, she continued down the slope of the hill, almost slipping in a puddle as she went.

She had always wanted to make a dramatic entrance, but there was no door for her to throw open and slam behind her. Why was there no door? She peered inside timidly, and after seeing no one in there, walked inside. It was just like she had remembered it. The table and couch were broken, there was wallpaper hanging loosely from the wall, water dripped from a hole in the roof, and paper was strewn all over the floor. She leaned over and picked up a piece, straightening it out in order for her to read it. It was just a bunch of ink splotches. She threw the paper down, angrier than she had been before, and sat down on the couch. Where could he possibly be if he wasn't at home? And then it hit her. She clambered to her feet and rushed out the door toward the Burrow.

…..

"Mum! Fred and George put one of their little toys in my room!" Percy yelled from upstairs.

Only seconds later, Fred and George came bounding down the stairs and out the front door, laughing cheerfully and high-fiving each other. Percy followed closely after, his glasses hanging at a strange angle on his face.

"Why can't people be more mature like me?" he murmured to himself, not even noticing Remus sitting on the couch as he stormed out the door.

The four Weasley children that were in school had come home for the Easter holidays, and it seemed as if the whole house had become rich with laughter and joy. Fred, George, and Ron appeared to love picking on their brother Percy when he was trying to get work done, and Ginny enjoyed joining in the fun. Most of the time, they were all outside practicing Quidditch and running around, but every once in a while, the house was almost shaken off its foundations as the four youngest Weasleys ran around and wreaked havoc across the place.

"Fred! George!" Molly yelled as she thundered into the room, her hair sticking up in every direction. "Where did those two get off to?"

"They're outside. I'll go get them," Remus volunteered, looking for any excuse to get out of the house. When Molly was angry, things suddenly became…well, less cheerful.

He got up from the couch and walked out the front door, keeping an eye out for a tall, long-legged twin or an irate, curly-haired brother. As he scanned the yard for the three of them, he caught a glimpse of movement in the field across from him. He narrowed his eyes against the sun and continued to watch. Over the tall weeds and wheat growing, he saw red hair bouncing toward the house. At first, he thought it was a Weasley. He opened his mouth to call out to them, but stopped when he heard a splash and saw a familiar girl plop onto the ground. She had apparently slipped in the mud.

His eyes widened. He knew that the day was coming when she returned. He knew that she would come looking for him, demanding an explanation for his behavior. He just didn't know what to do when that day came. While she was preoccupied with wiping mud off her pants, he rushed back inside and up the stairs.

"Fred? George? Percy?" Molly questioned when she heard the door slam. She walked into the room, hands on her hips, and saw Remus climbing the staircase. She cocked an eyebrow. "Where do you think you're going?"

"Tonks is here," he replied in almost a whisper. "Get rid of her."

Molly's lips suddenly turned into a cruel smile. "Oh no, Remus. You ignored her, and I knew that it would come back and take its revenge on you. You're going to be a man and talk to her yourself."

Remus shook his head. "Not right now. Just give me a second to think. I've already told her that all we'll ever be is friends. I've tried that with her. And I don't know what else to do. It's like…we can't be friends, you know? It's awkward. I need some time to think of what to say to her." He stopped when he heard a knock on the door. He looked at Molly, his eyes wide and pleading, but she only shook her head and went to open the door.

Remus could feel his hand shaking as it left the stair rail. He wasn't sure if he should go downstairs or continue up the stairs. Deciding on the latter, he stepped lightly onto the next step. Before he could take another step, he heard her voice.

"Get back down here, Remus Lupin! Don't think I didn't see you walking back inside!"

He muttered a string of profanities under his breath and walked slowly back down to the living room, where she stood waiting. There wasn't anything different about her at all, except that angry look in her eyes. He had never seen her this upset. It was almost terrifying.

"Hello," he said casually, not meeting her eyes.

She didn't hesitate. "Hello? _Hello?_ That's all you have to say when you ignored me? You _promised_ that you would come see me before I left. You _promised_ you would write me! Does a promise mean nothing anymore?" She glanced around the room at Molly, who didn't know if she should answer or not. Tonks answered for her when she powered through her argument. "You're a liar! Does that make you proud? I thought you were a good person! But no, you have to lie to me. So here's the time for the truth, and you better tell me what you're really thinking. Do you not want me around? Is that why you didn't write me? What's going on?" She crossed her arms and glared at him.

"Erm…" He ran a hand through his hair, words running through his head and crashing into each other. He had no idea what to say to her. "Well, I was only trying to help you."

Tonks laughed, though it was cold and mirthless. "Help me? How the hell did you help me? Do you have any idea how I spent my trip? Yeah, I didn't talk to anyone. Not even Alfred. I was alone almost all the time, too upset to do anything. I felt like I had lost a close friend. It hurt, Remus. It hurt a lot. And what were you doing while I was grieving? Probably having fun and drinking with your friends, not even thinking about me, huh?"

Remus could feel fury inside of him, though he didn't want to release it. It would only lead to more disastrous results. "I lost my job. I had to leave the village. I live here for now. But when I become too much of a burden for Molly, where do I go? I'm homeless, Tonks! And I can't keep a job! Maybe you don't understand how hard my life is. You make everything so much more complicated."

"_I_ make _your _life complicated? That's the biggest load of crap I've ever heard. I don't even know where you could get that. I hardly ever come to you for anything anymore. I don't bother you. You're just making up excuses. You're a liar and a coward, and you're afraid to fight your own battles! Tell me that isn't true! Go ahead!" Her deep, blue eyes were piercing right through him, and he didn't know what to do.

"Alright, I lied to you! But you know why? Because you can't take a hint! You don't understand that I'm older and more mature. You are only a child. Don't deny it. You know you are." He had finally let the rage flow out. He couldn't hold it in any longer. No matter how much he noticed that her hair was framing her smooth, perfect, porcelain face or the way her eyes shimmered under the light above her… "You try to act like you know everything, but you don't! You are not an adult, and you need to get that through your head!"

Tonks snorted. "You don't act like an adult yourself. An adult wouldn't lie about something like that. You should tell me the truth." She paused for a second to take a breath, and then continued. "Is that too much to ask?"

"You don't understand that I'm more than ten years older than you. You need to figure that out. I know that you want more than friendship from me, but it won't happen. You need to know that. That's why I lied. I don't want you to get hurt. I want you to be happy."

He saw her lip curl up a little, as if she was disgusted, and he knew that she was about to raise her voice again. "I don't need you in my life to be happy! I'm fine just the way I am! We don't have to be friends if you don't want to. We don't even have to talk to each other ever again if you don't want to. I don't care about you as more than a friend! Why would I? You're a grumpy, miserable man and you don't give a damn about anyone but yourself! Why would I ever want to be with someone like that?"

Remus was momentarily hurt by this comment, but he wasn't going to let her win. "I care about other people! You don't know my side of the story! You don't know anything about me. You think you do, but you don't! Once again, I'll say that you are a know-it-all and believe that you know everything about everyone just by looking at them! You don't know anything! You're a klutzy, absent-minded little girl with unrealistic dreams and no ambition! Do you even know what you're doing? If this trip was as miserable as you say it was, then I take it you didn't do anything? You didn't learn anything new? What are you doing with your life? Have you even thought about it?"

"I should be asking you that! I'm only eighteen. I have time to make a decision about my life! But what about you? You're in your thirties. What have you done that's so remarkable? Nothing! Absolutely nothing! You sit at home by yourself and let other people take care of you! Like now! Mrs. Weasley is putting a roof over your head, feeding you, cleaning up after you, and providing for you! When will you ever learn to take care of yourself? You're a liar and a coward! You won't ever be anything! You're stuck in this one spot in your life forever, and you'll never do anything for yourself! And what the hell is that on your face?" She stopped yelling, and a perplexed look took the place of her anger.

Remus was just as confused. He felt his face to see what she was talking about, but he didn't feel anything. He almost wanted to laugh. The argument had stopped so abruptly on such a strange topic. "What?" he asked.

"I'll…I'll go make some sandwiches," Molly said suddenly, running out of the room with a look of fright clearly written on her face.

"That thing on your face," Tonks said, still infuriated. "What is it? Since when did you have a mustache?"

Remus shrugged. "I don't know. A couple of weeks, I guess."

She rolled her eyes. "It looks stupid. You should shave it. You look like an idiot."

Remus felt a smile creep onto his lips. He couldn't resist. "I'll shave mine when you shave yours."

Tonks looked horrified. Her hand flew up above her lip, and her cheeks turned as red as her hair. "I don't have a mustache…" He didn't think she had ever been that embarrassed around him.

"I don't know," he said, shrugging. "I see it. It's very unattractive, you know." He stopped and watched her run a finger over her skin, trying to determine if there was hair there or not. Was the fight over? Could they begin again and pretend like there had never been hidden feelings there? "Do you want to go look in a mirror?"

Tonks looked up at him and shook her head. "No, I'm fine. There's nothing there. Even if there was, I could just change it." She smirked. "I can change my looks at any time. What can you do, Remus?"

Remus sat down next to her on the couch. He was careful not to get too close, though. She might lash out again. "There are lots of things I'm capable of. I'm just not the type to brag." He leaned back on the couch casually and sighed.

Tonks smiled a little. She hated how she came in, more furious than she had ever been before, and now she felt calm and serene. She could never stay mad at him, no matter how hard she tried. It was impossible. "Can we pretend none of this happened?" she asked quietly, not looking directly at him. "We obviously don't know each other well enough to be calling names and pointing fingers. We were both being childish."

Remus shrugged. "Do you understand that it'll only be friendship? You won't expect anything else?"

Tonks shook her head. "No. I'm content with Alfred. Actually, I'm going to go find you a woman. Then we can double date." She smiled at him like she had never smiled before. It looked almost sinister.

"That's not necessary," he said, trying to sound nonchalant. "I don't need anyone. Why don't you go home, Tonks? Go spend time with your parents and Alfred. Have fun."

She nodded. "Alright. I'll see you some other time then." She stood up and walked toward the door, and he followed closely after her. "Um…bye." She looked like she was about to hug him, but then she just stuck her hand out. He shook it, and she forced a smile. It was probably the most awkward moment that she had ever experienced. "Bye." She waved and walked out the door and toward the field.

Remus watched her as she walked, wondering how the fight had turned from loud and harsh to quiet and playful. For some reason, every time something like that happened with them, they were able to calm down quickly. It was impossible to stay mad at each other. Maybe that was a good thing. Maybe they could be friends. Maybe it wasn't over yet. They couldn't give up. Not yet.

Molly entered carrying a plate with sandwiches on it, and as soon as she set it down, she glared at him. "What was that all about?" she asked.

"I don't know…" he responded. "It's the same thing that it's always been about. But don't worry. We're starting over. We're friends now. Just friends."

Molly still looked irritated. "Friends? _Friends?_ You two fight like an old married couple! It's meant to be! Ugh!" With that, she threw her hands up in the air and stormed out of the room, leaving a confused Remus behind.


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey guys! Sorry about the wait. I thought I would have time to post a couple of days ago, but I was performing at the community theatre and fell asleep after my two shows. But here it is! Sorry if it's really crappy! :/**

Tonks sat at a long, perfectly polished wooden table that sat on top of a sparkly, white tile floor, waiting for Alfred and his parents. They had all gone outside, leaving her alone in the dining room. She glanced around carefully, not enjoying the long, drawn-out silence that filled the room. She hated the quiet. It made her terribly uncomfortable, and she wanted to get up and scream. Just to cause some noise. The whole house seemed to be lifeless.

As she got up from the table and pushed her chair back under the table, she saw a house-elf rush from the corner of the room and begin wiping the floor where her feet had been. She scowled and walked over to the mirror that was on the other side of the room. The mirror was perfect, no speckles and spots covering it. She ran a finger across the wooden cabinet below it, and no dust came up. The house seemed to be too perfect for its own good.

As she looked at herself in the flawless mirror, she suddenly felt ugly. She had always been confident that she was the most beautiful person in the room, because she could change anything about herself more easily than anyone else. But with Alfred and his parents, she felt like she had to try harder. She had spent an hour, longer than she ever had before, picking out the perfect dress to wear to dinner. She had pulled her brown hair back in a slick bun and skipped the big bows or bejeweled headbands that she normally liked to wear in her hair. Her eyes were a soft brown as well, and she wore natural-looking makeup, unlike the bright eyeshadow and eyeliner that she preferred to wear. She wore a red dress that came to her knees, along with a black sweater over the top, black high heels, and a small black purse. Even though she thought that she looked rather sophisticated, as soon as she walked into the house, Alfred's mother turned her nose up in the air and said, "We'll work on it."

Was this really the life she wanted to live? She couldn't see herself being the concealed, classy girl that Alfred wanted her to be. It all looked so…boring. It seemed like their fun was mocking lower class people and torturing house elves. It seemed like everything in the house was just as lifeless as the people who lived in it. As she glanced around the plan white, faultless walls of the room and sighed. She wasn't sure if she wanted to be a part of this life.

"Nymphadora!" Alfred exclaimed as he walked gracefully into the room, followed by his parents. "Guess what? My parents just bought a summer home for us in Ithaca, Greece. We'll be staying the entire summer. Would you like to go with us?"

She ignored the question. That was another thing that she hated. Being called by her first name. It was the most dreadful name in the entire world, and she wished that she could change it just like she could change her looks. Until then, she preferred to go by her last name. "I don't know, Alfred. I think I should stay here with my parents…" Was it bad that she wasn't actually thinking about her parents? She was worrying about losing touch with Remus again. If she left, she was afraid that he would stop communication between them. "They need help with a lot of things. Cousins coming to visit and all…"

Alfred shrugged, like it didn't affect him at all. "Alright then. I'll be sure to send an owl every day."

His father clapped a hand on his shoulder. "The house-elves are done with the food. Shall we eat?"

Tonks sighed as a strand of her hair came undone and fell right into her eyes. Mrs. Charleston looked at her disapprovingly before following her husband into the dining room.

…

"Molly, you're being ridiculous," Arthur said as he got up from his chair and started toward the living room. "Really. Can't you let this go? They obviously don't want it to happen. Otherwise, they would be pushing it themselves."

Molly sighed angrily and put her hands on her hips. She had been trying to persuade her husband to help her get Remus and Tonks together for the past week or so. He was just as stubborn as Remus and Tonks were, though. He refused to help her because he didn't like meddling in other people's business. "Arthur, I'm not asking you for much! They _do _want to be together, and they refuse to see it themselves. I'm just asking you to help me…help them see that they need each other. Can't you tell how miserable she is with that disgusting little prude? She would be much happier with Remus. I know for a fact, just by the way they act around each other. And he needs her just as much. He's never had a girlfriend in his life. It might brighten him up just a little bit. So what do you think? Are you going to help me?"

Arthur shook his head and acted like he was occupied by today's copy of the _Daily Prophet_. "No, Molly. They're fine as they are. I mean, don't you think that he's a little too old for her? Almost fourteen years."

She shrugged and crossed her arms, looking like she was getting more annoyed by the moment. "That's not so bad. She's a legal adult. And it won't seem like such a big deal in a few years. It's perfectly fine."

Again, Arthur shook his head. "No, it's not. He's a werewolf, Molly. They're not supposed to breed."

"Who said anything about breeding?"

Arthur looked up at his deranged wife and sighed. He loved her, but sometimes he was convinced that she was totally insane. "I'm not taking any part in this, alright? If you want to meddle and stir up a catastrophe, then that's your business. But I'm not taking the blame when you get yourself into trouble." He threw the newspaper on the table and stalked off into the living room.

Molly curled her lip up in disgust and rolled her eyes. "Fine. If you won't help me, I _will_ do it myself."

…..

"Oh, Remus!" Molly exclaimed in a sing-song voice as she ran into Bill's old room. "I have breakfast for you!" She dropped the plate that she was carrying on the nightstand and sat in the chair next to the bed. "And I have news."

Remus slowly opened his eyes and rolled over to look at her. He didn't appreciate being woken up at almost five in the morning. He was used to waking up later than that. "What, Molly? What could possibly be so important that you couldn't wait until later to tell me?"

"Oh, were you not awake, dear?" she said, although her voice showed no concern. "Well, I'm terribly sorry. Listen, in a few weeks, Arthur, Ginny, and I will be going to stay with Muriel for a while. She's in bad health. I don't know how long we'll stay. Will you be okay here by yourself?"

"Why can't I come too?" he asked as he climbed out of bed and grabbed the steaming cup of coffee on the nightstand. "Muriel knows me."

Molly's eyes widened. She hadn't thought about that. It seemed like there had been a small flaw in the plan. "Um…she's very contagious. You've already got enough to worry about. I don't want you to get any sicker. It's best that you stay here."

Remus took a sip of his coffee and shrugged. "Alright then. I'll stay here. But I can't promise that I can tend to the place like you do, Molly."

"I don't really care," she replied as she got up from her chair and headed toward the door. "I'll clean it up when I get back."

Remus stared at her, confused. She was acting unlike herself. Normally, she would flip out if the house was even a little out of order. That's why her kids were always in trouble. But now, she seemed careless. "Okay…" he finally said, still trying to figure out what was causing this behavior. "But I still don't see why you couldn't wait to tell me this later. And why a few weeks from now? If she's so sick, why not go now?" He narrowed his eyes in suspicion.

"Erm…" Molly fidgeted nervously, trying to come up with an excuse. "That's the only time that Arthur can get off work. No more questions, dear. Eat your breakfast. Go back to sleep. I don't care. I have to go." She smiled at him and walked out of the room, slamming the door behind her.

"Why a few weeks from now?" Arthur whispered as soon as the door shut. He had been standing outside the room listening in on the conversation. A couple of days ago, he never would have considered this plan. But somehow, he had been dragged into it. And he didn't appreciate it.

"Because we have to make sure that little ass Alfred is gone, don't we?" she whispered back as she started down the stairs. "He's supposed to be going to Ithaca or some place like that, and for some strange reason, she turned down an invitation to go with him. When he's gone, we leave too. Just for the night. And trust me, this is going to work."

Arthur rolled his eyes. Of course this wasn't going to work. He knew it, and he knew deep down that she knew it too. But he didn't want to argue with her. Karma would get her soon enough for meddling.

…..

Three weeks passed. It was nearing the end of May. Flowers bloomed from every garden and every tree in Ottery St. Catchpole. The sun hung like a big ball of butter in the clear blue sky, and the temperature seemed to be stuck between winter and summer. It was the perfect weather for kids to be out and about playing soccer, or in the wizard families' case, Quidditch.

Molly had been unusually happy over that time period. She danced around the house while cleaning, humming songs by her favorite singer, Celestina Warbeck. She smiled in a creepy, awkward way every time she happened across Remus in the house. Ginny seemed to be in a better mood too, now that her mother wasn't yelling at her so much. Arthur, on the other hand, seemed not to notice. He just sat around like any other day and worked on paperwork.

She had told Tonks that it was Arthur's birthday in a few weeks, and she wanted her to come over to celebrate. Of course, Arthur's birthday wasn't until October, but she didn't need to know that. She had tried to invite her parents as well, but Molly quickly told her not to let them come. Just her. Although Tonks was confused by this, she agreed.

"This is going to be so great," Molly said to Arthur one night. "Neither of them had caught on to anything yet. This is all too easy."

Arthur raised an eyebrow. "Yes, too easy. Don't see where anything could go wrong now."

"I know!" Molly squealed happily. She was obviously more excited than Arthur was for what was to come in only one week's time. "They're going to get together. And they're both going to be so much happier."

Arthur only sat and drank his coffee. "This isn't right, Molly."

Normally she would put up a fight, but instead she just crossed her arms and huffed. "Shut up, Arthur."

….

When the day finally came, Molly was almost beside herself with giddiness. She packed a bag to make sure that Remus wasn't getting suspicious and made sure that she had made enough to food to make it look like they might be gone for a while. As she laid his breakfast on the table and wandered into the living room to grab her coat, she heard Arthur yell to her.

"Molly, I'm off to work!"

Her eyes widened. She had seen Remus coming down the stairs, and she was afraid that he might have heard that. She rushed into her bedroom, where Arthur was putting on his coat and hat, and smacked him in the arm. "What do you think you're doing? Remus is up! He could have heard you!" She glanced behind her and saw that Remus had appeared in the kitchen, a questioning look on his face. She smiled. "Oh, Arthur. You must have forgotten that we're going to Muriel's today. Don't you remember?"

Arthur scowled at her. "Oh, yes. Of course. We're supposed to be going to Muriel's. When are we leaving, _dear_?"

"Um…in a few hours," Molly replied, glancing at Remus again and nodding. "Around six tonight, maybe. Sound good, Arthur?"

Arthur was confused now. "If we're leaving tonight, then why can't I go to work now?"

"I didn't say that you couldn't!" Molly exclaimed. "Go!"

Arthur looked at her like she was mad, but he walked out the door and into the yard, where he Apparated to work.

"Molly, you haven't been yourself lately," Remus said as she walked back into the kitchen. "Honestly, I'm a little frightened. Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, dear," she replied as she darted back into the living room, where she started to tidy up the coffee table, which was littered with magazines and newspapers. He followed after her. "Don't worry about me. You're the one that should be worried about. You'll be transforming in a few days, and then you'll be in bed sick for about a week afterwards. You should really worry more about yourself sometimes, dear." She stopped moving, and her lips curled into a smile. "Of course, if you would just find a woman to take care of you, you wouldn't have to be worried about as much." She glanced up at him and grinned again.

"No, Molly," he said, before she could utter another word. "Never. I would rather you kick me out and make me live on my own."

Molly rolled her eyes. "Fine, Remus. You really are incredibly stubborn. And you always make things difficult." She threw some magazines in the trash and walked out of the room. "Hopefully not for much longer," she added under her breath.

"What do you mean?" he asked, narrowing his eyes. "Not for much longer? What are you up to?"

"Nothing, dear," Molly replied as she rushed into her bedroom and shut the door, locking it behind her.

…

"I'm home!" Arthur yelled through the open door. He glanced around to see if anyone would answer, but it seemed like the house was deserted. "Molly? Ginny?" He walked inside and looked around, but he didn't see anyone. "Remus?"

Before he could move another inch, he felt a hand on his arm, and he turned around to see Molly standing there. "We need to leave. I'm going to make dinner and set everything up, and you keep Remus occupied, alright?"

"Molly, I still think this is insane-" He was cut off.

"Remus, can you go out to the garden and see if you can find my brooch? I think I dropped it." When Remus appeared in the doorway, she waved him off. "Thanks! Oh, and we'll probably be gone by the time you get back in!"

"What about your brooch?" Remus called back to her from the living room.

"Lay it on the coffee table! If you can't find it, then just forget about it! I can get another one!" She smiled at Arthur, like she was confident in her lies.

Arthur rolled his eyes. "Yes, very convincing, Molly. I can't possibly see how he could catch on now."

"Me neither," Molly replied, ignoring his sarcastic tone. She walked into the kitchen and grabbed the food that she had prepared, and she set it on the dining room table. She then turned off all the lights and set up two candles, which she lit. "Does this look alright, Arthur?"

"If we're not here, how are we supposed to distract him before Tonks gets here?" Arthur asked, raising an eyebrow. He had finally gotten her. She had no explanation for this.

"Uh…" Molly thought long and hard, and she seemed like she had absolutely no answer. Then she rushed to the door and yelled outside, "We're leaving, Remus! And don't go in the dining room!" She shut the door and walked back to Arthur. "That should do it, right?"

"Yeah," Arthur said, rolling his eyes. "Perfect. Where are we supposed to go now?"

"To the bedroom, Arthur," Molly answered, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "You should really start using your head. We need to be somewhere where we can eavesdrop." She rolled her eyes and grabbed his arm, and she dragged him into the bedroom and locked the door.


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey guys! I don't know when the last time was that I posted, but it feels like it's been a while! Anyhow, I'm finished with my play, so no more rehearsals to worry about, and I'm done with exams and out for the holidays! So be expecting my posting almost every other day. I hope this chapter is okay. I tried really hard on it. Leave a review. thanks(:**

Remus walked back into the house, dirt covering his shirt and pants. He had been down on the ground searching for the brooch, and he finally gave up when he had searched over the entire garden three times. He didn't find anything except a particularly moody garden gnome who tried to bite him.

He went into the kitchen to wash his hands and then remembered what Molly had said. "Don't go into the dining room!" Why? What was in the dining room that she didn't want him to see? As soon as he got his hands washed, he walked into the dining room, despite his warning not to. When he saw the candles lit and the food laid out, he immediately knew what was going on.

She wasn't at Muriel's. She was somewhere else. He wasn't sure where, but he knew that she wasn't there. It had all been a lie. This whole time, all she wanted to do was set up a dinner for him to make him feel better? What was the point of that? She had been to so much trouble for absolutely nothing.

But then he noticed there was another plate laid out, and he was confused again. Not thinking too much on it, he sat down where the raw meat sat and picked up his fork. As he was about start eating, he heard a knock on the door. He looked up and saw, through the darkness, bright purple hair in the window. And then everything became clear. She had set the dinner up for him and Tonks.

He wasn't sure if he should open the door. He wouldn't mind sitting and talking to her for a while, but he wasn't sure if she would take it the wrong way or not. Finally deciding that it would probably be rude to let her stand in the dark by herself, he got up and opened the door.

"Hey, Remus," she said as she entered, taking off her sweater and laying it on the chair counter. "Where is everyone else?"

"What do you mean?" he asked, trying not to look at her. She was wearing a low-cut white shirt and tight jeans.

"It's Arthur's birthday, isn't it?" she said, holding up the wrapped gift that she had brought in with her. "That's what Molly told me."

Remus wanted to laugh. He couldn't believe that Molly had gone to all this trouble. Now that he thought of it, he didn't see how he didn't catch on sooner than this. She was being rather obvious. "This might sound strange, but I think Molly might have set up a er…date for us." He looked away, unable to meet her eyes.

The room was quiet for a second, and he was afraid that she might be upset. And then she laughed. "Molly does the strangest things, doesn't she? Well, she already made dinner and set up everything. I don't oppose a free dinner." She smiled and set the gift down next to her sweater.

Remus shrugged and nodded, suddenly feeling very awkward. He walked over to his seat and sat down again, but just before he could start on his dinner, he heard her cough from the other side of the room. "Yes?" he said.

"We're on a date, aren't we, Remus?" Tonks said, grinning from ear to ear. He knew that she would take it the wrong way. But something about her tone said that she was only joking. "Aren't you supposed to pull my chair out for me?"

"Um…of course," he replied, getting up again and pulling out her chair for her.

She sat down and scooted up to the table. "Honestly, Remus. Have you never been on a date before?"

"Of course I have," he answered, though it was a lie. All of his life, he had been too afraid to even approach a girl, too afraid of putting her in danger.

Tonks started in on her food, but stopped when she noticed what was on Remus's plate. "Why do you eat your meat so raw?" she asked.

He shrugged. "I like it that way."

He knew that she could see right through him. He knew that even when he could fool everyone else in the room, she would be able to know that he wasn't telling the whole truth. The way she was looking at him, her beautiful green eyes staring right into his brown ones, made him realize that she would find him out someday. He was determined to make sure that it wasn't today.

"Alfred left today. For Ithaca," Tonks said, breaking the awkward silence that filled the room. "I'll be alone all summer."

"It's alright," Remus said. "I've been alone all my life."

"Aha!" Tonks exclaimed, dropping her fork and pointing an accusing finger at him. "I knew it!"

"Knew what?" Remus asked, taken aback. Sometimes he wondered if she was alright in her mind.

"You've never dated anyone, have you?" she asked, her eyes wide with humor.

"Well, I don't know where you got that from. I dated several people when I was at Hogwarts-"

"No, you didn't!" She seemed incredibly amused by this, and Remus wasn't sure if he should be offended or glad that he could finally admit it to someone. "You didn't date anyone. Be honest with me, Remus. I won't tell anyone."

Remus rolled his eyes. Why did it matter so much? Couldn't they talk about something else? "Alright, I haven't. Not even one single date. I don't know what I'm doing now. I don't know why you're here. I should be in bed. Maybe you should go home." He got up from the table and walked toward the door, but Tonks didn't move.

"It's not a big deal, Remus," she said. "Come sit back down. You wanna know what I think about that?" She waited until he had sat back down before she continued. "I think it's cute. You just haven't found a girl that you care enough about. Did you ever even like a girl?"

Remus was incredibly uncomfortable with answering these questions. Especially when they were being asked by an eccentric teenager who couldn't keep her mouth shut. "Yes, I did. Her name was Irma-"

Tonks laughed. "Irma? Really? That's a terrible name. Who would name their kid something like that?"

As she went on with her rant, Remus stared at her, beginning to notice things that he had never noticed about her. She closed her eyes when she laughed. Her nose crinkled up, and she snorted every once in a while. It was incredibly cute. No, he had to get her to stop. He was getting ahead of himself.

"You're one to talk, _Nymphadora_."

She stopped and stared at him like he had said the most awful thing in the world. "Point taken. Continue."

Remus smiled at her and went on. "Her name was Irma Pogrenoff. She was a Slytherin. At the time, probably the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen. But she was obnoxious. And her parents were Death Eaters. She never even looked at me."

"Well, did you ever talk to her?"

"No. I just thought maybe-"

Tonks dropped her fork, looking rather exasperated. "You can't just expect a girl to like you! And girls don't like making the first move. The boy has to do that." She rolled her eyes and began eating. "If it makes you feel any better, Alfred is only my fifth boyfriend."

"Yes, I feel so much better," Remus replied sarcastically. He wasn't sure why, but he suddenly felt embarrassed. In all his life, he never really cared what anyone thought. While James and Sirius were out with girls, he stayed in and did homework and studied. He never really thought much about it. It was known that werewolves were not supposed to breed. Therefore, he just stayed away from girls. To prevent himself and anyone else from any harm.

"So…I suppose you haven't had your first kiss yet, then," Tonks said almost inaudibly, avoiding his eyes. She had spoken without thinking. She felt stupid for ever opening her mouth. That was too personal, and she knew that he wouldn't want to answer that. Plus, she sounded like she was after him again. She couldn't let him know anything. As far as he knew, she was in love with Alfred. And now she just ruined it. He would figure her out.

"No…I haven't," Remus answered cautiously, eyeing her carefully. Just like she had feared, he had seen right through her.

_Leave it at that_, her mind said. _Don't make a fool of yourself. _But once again, words rushed out of her mouth. It was too late to stop them. "Well, don't you think it's time you do?" Remus was looking at her like she was insane. She knew that she had absolutely lost her mind. What was she doing? She was scooting her chair closer to his, and now he was closer than he had ever been to her. Fear was coming over her, but she didn't stop. She moved closer to him, his face only inches from hers, and before she knew it, she had kissed him, more passionately than she had ever kissed anyone before. It was like explosions were going off in her head.

Remus wasn't sure what he was supposed to do. After all, he had never done this before. Especially not with someone that was thirteen years younger than him. After all that worrying he did daily, it seemed like all of his thoughts had flooded out of his mind, and this was the only thing that was happening. It was right in front of him, and it was real. It must have been several seconds before another thought popped into his mind: she's eighteen. And then another: you're a werewolf. And dozens of other reasons why he should not be doing this drifted back in, and he pulled away from her. "I think you need to go home, Tonks."

At first, he was sure that she would get up and leave peacefully, or maybe she would try to apologize, like always. But then her face contorted into a look of anger, and he knew that this time, he had done something to really upset her. She had never looked this infuriated with him before.

"Okay. I will," she said as she got up and thrust her chair forward. It ended up smashing into the table and falling to the floor with a loud thud. As she walked over to the coat rack in the corner of the room, almost tripping over her fallen chair as she did so, she turned to Remus and glared at him, absolute hatred filling her eyes. "That's your problem, Remus. You _never_ want to talk about your problems. You always want to tell me to leave and then sit there and brood for a while. You are _never_ going to be able to stand up for yourself. If you have something to say to me, say it." She crossed her arms and stood, waiting for a response.

Remus didn't know what to say. On the rare occasions that someone decided to do something to him at school, James and Sirius were always there to defend him. And even now, whenever he had a problem, he never faced it himself. He waited for it to fade away so that it might not ever be brought up again. But it seemed like it would not be like that this time. "I don't have anything to say to you. I don't feel well, and I think I need to get some rest."

She rolled her eyes and stomped her foot a little. Every feeling in her body was clawing at her, begging to be released. She wanted to tell him just how much she wanted him to take her away and save her from an awful fate with Alfred. She wanted him to return the love she felt for him. But at the same time, she wanted to hit him as hard as she could for being so stubborn. "You always do! You are a coward, Remus Lupin! A coward! And that's all you'll ever be! Maybe you know all about fighting the Dark Arts and dueling and stuff, but you are too afraid to take care of your personal life! I know what you're thinking! I know what you want to say to me. I just want to hear it. Tell me that you don't care about me. And I'll leave you alone."

To say that he didn't care about her would be a lie. He _did_ care about her. She was the first person he thought of when he woke up and the last person he thought of before he fell asleep. He tried to shake her out of his thoughts all the time, but it never worked. Something about her gave him hope and faith for his future. Something about her helped numb the pain he felt every month. Something made him feel like he had never felt before, like he was in the happiest place on earth, and he never wanted to leave it. "I'm not going to lie to you," he finally settled on saying. "If I told you I didn't care about you, that would be a lie."

He thought she might soften and they could get back to a peaceful conversation. For a moment, she seemed less tense, and she looked like she wanted to say something to him. Something nice. And then her lip curled in disgust as she pulled her jacket tighter to her and grabbed the doorknob. "You piss me off. You need to start telling me something instead of making me wonder about what you really mean. You're never straightforward with me, and it pisses me off! Ugh!" She paused for a second, and then she grabbed a plate off the counter and threw it on the ground, causing it to shatter into a million pieces.

Remus was confused. "What are you doing?"

"I'm making a dramatic exit." With that, she opened the door and walked out into the warm summer night.

It was only after a few seconds after Remus had started to clean up that he heard the door creak open again, and Tonks peeked into the room. "Can you tell Molly I'm sorry about the plate? I would clean it up, but I'm no good at that kind of stuff. Oh, and tell Arthur happy birthday!" Her calm face then contorted back into anger. "Ugh!" And then she slammed the door and was gone again.

He wanted to laugh at her, because she was terrible at throwing tantrums. He knew that she wouldn't be able to stay mad, and sooner or later she would return. It might be a week from now, or it might be a month from now, but he knew that she would come back. She always came back.

The door to the bedroom opened, and Molly walked out, looking absolutely stunned, followed by Arthur, who had a smug smile on his face. "What happened? What broke? Who slammed the door? OH NO! MY PLATE! WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?"

Arthur rolled his eyes and pulled out his wand, which mended the plate instantly. "Don't worry, Molly. It's not the end of the world. Maybe your little fantasy world that you live in, but not the real world."

Remus wasn't surprised that they were eavesdropping on him. In fact, it would have shocked him more if they had actually gone to Muriel's. "Tonks wanted to make a dramatic exit, so she threw a plate and slammed the door. She told me to tell you sorry for the plate and to tell Arthur happy birthday. That is, after she said that I pissed her off."

Molly's face fell, and her shoulders slumped. "Well, that's awful. I thought maybe something would happen. And now she's gone, and I don't know how to handle the situation-"

"She'll be back, Molly," Remus assured her. "She always comes back. Just let her blow off some steam. She'll be back."


	12. Chapter 12

**Okay, I'm sorry that this chapter isn't very long. I'm kind of just trying to take the story in a new direction, and there will be a couple of short chapters to get it where it needs to be. So be patient. Also, I'm working on a new fanfiction that I just posted a couple of days ago. It's a Snape/Lily ff, and yes, it does include the Marauders. It's told from Snape's POV, so I can't promise that nice things will be said about the Marauders. Anyway, if you want to check that one out, go ahead. And I hope you're still enjoying this one. (:**

Although he expected her to come back the next week, Remus was sorely disappointed. She didn't come back that week. In fact, she didn't even come back that month. Maybe he had really upset her. Maybe he should go to her house and apologize. But he knew, deep down, that he could never bring himself to do it. After all, what was there to apologize for?

At the beginning of June, all of the Weasleys came home for summer break. The house was much more crowded than Remus was used to, but he tried to adjust. After all, there was never a boring moment with six boys and one girl running around with each other every day.

"Why don't you believe me, Mum?" Ron asked one day as he shoved some bacon in his mouth and followed after Molly, who was trying desperately to clean the house. "I met Harry Potter! He's my best friend! And he's not at all self-centered. He's probably the most modest person I know! You met him too, Mum! He asked us where the platform was!"

"Alright, Ron," Molly said, looking rather exasperated. "I've heard you say that ever since you walked in the door. Why don't you go practice Quidditch with your brothers or something? I need to get the living room cleaned up if Albus is visiting tomorrow."

"He plays Quidditch too, Mum! He's the Seeker!"

Molly stopped dead in her tracks. "Isn't he only eleven?"

Ron nodded and grinned. "Yeah, isn't it amazing? Not only did he defeat You-Know-Who, but he also plays Quidditch! And he's really good at it!" Molly sighed and started to clean again, with Ron following close after her, still spouting off facts about his new friend. Ginny followed after him, listening in amazement.

Remus didn't know what to think. He knew that it was supposed to be Harry's first year at Hogwarts, but now that he was hearing that he might have a chance to see him, he felt almost lost for words. To see James and Lily's child would make him happier than he had been in a while. And yet, there was something inside him that said that he didn't need to meet Harry. What would he say to him? Should he talk about Lily and James, or would it be better to skip that topic for a while? He was unsure of himself, but then he realized that he might not ever get to meet him. After all, he was living with his Muggle aunt and uncle, and he might not ever get to visit the Burrow. He might just be setting himself up for disappointment.

"Remus, why don't you get out of the house a little bit?" Molly said urgently as Ron and Ginny continued to follow after her. "And take the kids. Here's an idea. Why don't you take them down to Andromeda and Ted's house? They have a wide field behind their house. Bigger than the one behind ours. I think the kids would enjoy that."

Remus's eyes widened as he shook his head. "I don't think that would be a good idea. Maybe they could just play here. And I could watch them."

"And he saved us, Mum! You-Know-Who was in the school! Well, he didn't have a body. But he won against You-Know-Who again! Isn't that amazing?"

Molly ignored him. "Tonks isn't there, Remus, if that's what you're worried about. She's with Alfred at his summer home. They won't mind if you visit a little bit."

"Mum-" Ron started again.

"WHAT?" Molly yelled, rounding on her son and staring at him wildly. "Can't you see that I'm trying to get this mess cleaned up?" She held up her wand and waved it around, causing a bunch of papers that had already been cleaned up to fly onto the floor again. "Did you make any other friends besides Harry Potter? I mean, it's nice to hear stories about him. He seems like a nice boy. But can't you wait until I'm not busy to talk to me about him?"

Ron looked down at the ground, apparently embarrassed by being yelled at by his mother. Ginny had run off as soon as Molly had screamed. "Yeah, alright. And yes, I did make another friend. Her name's Hermione."

"Oh, a girl?" Molly asked calmly, as if she hadn't just flown off the handle. "Is she pretty?"

Ron's ears immediately turned red, and he shook his head and ran out the door to join his brothers in the field.

There was a moment of silence, and Molly finally turned to Remus and smiled. "That's how you get rid of your children. Start up an awkward conversation. He doesn't want to discuss girls with his mother." She laid her wand down and sat down on the couch next to Remus. "Why don't you go have lunch with Mad-Eye or something? He hasn't seen you in a while. I'm sure he'd be pleased to see you."

"Or he would think I was a Dark wizard and almost kill me like he does every person that steps onto his property," Remus replied moodily as he sipped some of his coffee. "I think I'll pass on that one, thanks."

Molly rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. "Why don't you want to have anything to do with any of your friends anymore? You're so grumpy and miserable! You could have a good, full life if you would live a little bit. I know you have that monthly sickness and everything, but you don't have to be angry and isolated all the time."

"Molly," Remus said, his voice rising a dangerous amount. "I'm not trying to be this way. I don't ask for this to happen to me. I didn't ask for Fenrir Greyback to attack me when I was a child. I didn't ask to transform every month and to be homeless and unemployed. I could've had a great life. But I don't have one, so I just have to deal with it."

"Oh, don't even start on that!" Molly yelled, rising from the couch. "You have great friends and a roof over your head and food on your plate every night! I could throw you out on the street and make you sleep in a box, but you know why I don't? Because I'm a great friend, and I know that life is already tough on you. I want to help you. And so does Tonks. But you're such as asshole to her, just like you are to everyone else, that I don't understand why she keeps coming back." She was glaring at him, her eyes narrowed and her mouth in a tight, thin line. She didn't get that angry that often. She must really be fed up with him.

He knew that everything that she said was true, but sometimes he felt like everything would be better off for everyone, including himself, if he wasn't there. He was such a burden on everyone, and he was constantly putting every person in his life in danger. He was a monster, an absolute monster inside and out, because of Fenrir Greyback. He didn't want to be like this. And every night, visions and memories haunted him. He could still remember every detail of the day he got attacked. He could see it in his dreams. And he hoped and prayed every day that there might be a way to fix his problem so he could live a normal life, but he knew there never would be. Yes, everything that Molly said was true, but how could he pretend like nothing bad had ever happened to him? How was he supposed to act when almost all of the happiness in his life had drained out?

"You're right," he finally said.

Molly looked like she was going to argue again, but then her face fell. "Really? I mean, you're actually agreeing with me on something?"

Remus nodded. "Yes, I am. I'm going to lighten up. In fact, I'm going to go play Quidditch with the kids right now. I haven't played in a long time." He smiled at her and walked out the door.

It wasn't her nagging and yelling and glaring that got him to change his mind. It was the painful realization that he was, indeed, being awful to everyone around him, especially Tonks. All she wanted to do was to make him happy, and she was doing a rather good job of it. But he never let her see that she was making a difference in his life. He could never do that. It would be too much.

…..

It seemed like it had only been a few days since the Weasleys got home from school, but when one was having fun, time seemed to fly by a little faster. Remus helped shape the kids up in order for them to excel in Quidditch next year, as well as excel in class. Fred and George actually sat down for a little while each day and worked on their homework. Only because Remus promised to tell them some great prank ideas for their next year, but still, it was a relief not to have the two troublemakers on the loose the whole day.

Molly seemed to be a whole lot less resentful toward him. In fact, she was incredibly pleased with him for helping take care of her wild children. Remus didn't really mind. He liked helping the twins play pranks, helping Percy with his homework, talking to Bill and Charlie about dragons and Gringotts, and most of all, talking to Ron about Harry.

"I guess you are capable of feeling happy," Molly commented one day close to the end of the summer. She was watching the kids playing around from the window and smiling. "I'm glad that you've become less tense. Now why don't you show Tonks that? I know you want to be friends with her. She seems to be the only one that can get you to talk about things."

"Oh, I will show her," Remus replied as he shoved some clothes into his bag sitting on the table. "As soon as she gets home. I need to apologize. I didn't understand at first, but I guess I can see that it is rather annoying when someone keeps their feelings pent up all the time. So I'm going to tell her how I really feel."

Molly turned around, her face lighting up in amusement. "Really? And how exactly do you feel, Remus?"

"Not the way you think I feel, Molly," Remus responded, continuing to pack. "I just want her to know that I'm not the person she thinks I am, but we can still have fun and be friends."

Molly's face fell, and she crossed her arms. There were no more words to say. She watched as Remus threw books and clothes inside his worn, tattered bag for a few minutes before it finally clicked with her. "Why are you packing up? Where are you going?"

"Oh, I sent an owl to Mad-Eye today," Remus answered nonchalantly. "He said I could come and stay with him for a while. I think I need to leave you alone for a while and let you get back to your old life. Mad-Eye needs a little company, I think. It'd do us both well."

Molly nodded in understanding. "Well, alright. But do come and visit every once in a while. I don't mind you staying any longer, but if you want to leave…" She trailed off and turned toward the window again to watch the kids. She didn't say anything else, and with that, Remus zipped up his bag and headed out the back door.

….

Only a couple of weeks later, Remus received an owl from Molly, telling him about a strange incident that had occurred close to the end of August. Ron, Fred, and George had stolen the old Ford Anglia and flown to Little Whinging to get Harry from his aunt and uncle's house. They had returned with Harry, and he had stayed for a few days before school started. He was exactly as Ron had described him, modest and caring. He liked to help around the house and describe Muggle products to Arthur, who was constantly pestering him with questions. He was amazing at Quidditch, and he seemed to be very smart. The only downside was that Ginny stayed up in her room for hours at a time, too afraid to come down in fear of embarrassing herself in front of Harry. Oh, and that small incident that had happened on the day before school. Ron and Harry had missed the train and had stolen the car yet again to get to school. It sounded like something that James would do when he was a kid. And Remus didn't know whether he should admire this or not.

He had left the Burrow mere days before Harry had arrived. He had missed him by only a few days. He wasn't sure if that was a good or a bad thing. He wanted to talk to Harry, but he had nothing to say. He supposed that it was for the best that he had moved out.


	13. Chapter 13

**Okay, so before I say anything else, I think I must apologize for a mistake that I made in an old chapter. I wasn't thinking, and I know that they don't celebrate Thanksgiving in England. But, for the sake of the story, just pretend I didn't make that mistake, and I'll try to fix it as best I can. Thank you, Kelley, for pointing that out. (: Next thing I would like to say is that, I know the next couple of chapters will be slow-moving and kind of pointless, but every conflict has to have a solution. There will be more interesting chapters, I promise. Next thing is that I do have another fanfiction in the process. It's posted, called "Darkness." Lily/Snape mid-1970s fic. Although, it won't be updated for a while because the other chapters are on my other computer, and it's not functioning right now. So be patient. And now, I will stop boring you and let you read. (: **

One night in early September, Remus was lying awake in his bed with too many thoughts running through his head to even consider sleep. He knew that Tonks would be home by now, because Mad-Eye left every morning to meet up with his Aurors-in-training. He just couldn't think of how he could approach her. She might still be mad at him, and if she was, he had to come up with a really good apology.

As he lay awake and stared at the ceiling, he heard a crack from outside his window. It sounded like someone had stepped on a twig and snapped it in half. But there was no one out there, right? Whether there was a person there or not, he knew that in mere seconds, Mad-Eye would be out of bed and going insane. Every little noise in the night seemed to make him go crazy.

Sure enough, Mad-Eye was bustling through Remus's bedroom door and slamming it behind him, completely out of breath. "Remus, there's someone outside my house! Get ready! They might try to kill us!"

Remus rolled his eyes. He always knew that Mad-Eye had a crazy side to him since he was a well-known Auror, but only when he started living with him did he see just how crazy he really was. "Alastor, I really don't think anyone's out there-"

"Shh!" Mad-Eye yelled, pulling his wand out from a pocket inside his pajamas. "Shh! Can't you hear them? They're close to the front door." He ducked behind the bookcase near the door and pointed his wand outward.

Remus got out of bed and pulled out his wand as well. "That eye of yours…aren't you supposed to be able to see who's out there?"

Mad-Eye only grunted. He must have forgotten. After all, he had just woken up and he still sounded rather drowsy. As they waited in the silence, Remus took a step toward the door. He wanted to find out what was going on so that he could go back to bed. If he didn't find something out, Mad-Eye would be in his room freaking out for the rest of the night.

And then, there was a knock at the front door. Remus opened his bedroom door and walked slowly into the dark living room. Mad-Eye cast a spell behind him, missing him only by a few inches.

"Remus, what are you doing?" he hissed into the shadows. "That could be a Dark wizard!"

"Do you really think if it was a Dark wizard, they would knock on the door?" Remus asked exasperatedly as he moved the curtains and looked out to the porch. He sighed. "Oh, Merlin." He unlocked the door and turned the light on, and he moved aside so that Tonks and Alfred could walk into the room. "May I ask why you're here at three in the morning?"

She scowled at him, obviously still angry at him. "May I ask why you're here at all? Why is it that everywhere I go, you're there?" She crossed her arms and glared at him.

Alfred wrapped an arm around her shoulder, a disappointed look on his face, and shook her a little. "Don't argue, Nymphadora. It's rude. Besides, we're not here to see _him_." He shot a glare at Remus. "We're here to see Moody."

Tonks nodded and softened a little as Alfred released her and walked across the room to where Mad-Eye was standing, readjusting his magical eye.

"Well, what are you two doing in the wee hours of the morning, hmm? What's so important that you couldn't have waited until training at nine? It's only six hours away," Mad-Eye said, obviously annoyed. "I was having a pretty peaceful sleep."

"Nymphadora wanted to know if she could retake her Tracking and Stealth test," Alfred whispered, like it was private information. "We were out walking, since neither of us could sleep, and she insisted that we go ask you since we were in the area." He rolled his eyes. "Don't mind her. Sometimes she makes bad decisions."

Mad-Eye glanced at Alfred like he wanted to stab his wand through his chest, and then he looked at Tonks. "Well, it's alright. I'll have something arranged for you at training in the morning. Now, go on home and get some sleep. I'll see you at nine o'clock." He turned on his heel and headed back to his bedroom, his wooden leg clacking every other step.

Tonks looked at Remus for only a split second, and somehow, a message seemed to pass between them: they needed to talk. Now. But they needed to get rid of Alfred. Tonks looked away from him and watched as Alfred examined the Dark Magic detectors that covered almost every inch of the cluttered room.

"Alfred, I think I heard something in the forest. It might be a werewolf or something," she said, looking at Remus as she spoke. "Why don't we go check it out?"

Alfred immediately looked over at her. "A werewolf? Well, that's interesting." He started walking toward the door, with Tonks following after him, and then he stopped her. "This is a man's job. I won't let you go with me. Why don't you stay here with Reginald while I inspect the area?"

"It's Remus," Tonks corrected him.

"Whatever," he said as he walked outside.

Tonks stared at the floor for a few seconds, swaying back and forth awkwardly. She could feel Remus staring at her, but she didn't know what to say. She knew she had to say something, though. They hadn't spoken in almost three months. "I'm sorry," she mumbled under her breath, not meeting his eyes. "I didn't mean to-"

"It's okay," Remus replied. He took a step closer to her, not entirely sure what he was going to say to her, either. "I should have said something to you. I'm sorry."

Tonks nodded, and once again the entire room fell into an awkward silence. Both of them avoided looking at each other, and neither of them wanted to be the one to speak first. They were both afraid of saying something wrong.

Finally, Tonks spoke. "So are you going to tell me how you really feel? I would like to know. It would make things easier." She held her breath. She was scared for what he might say. What if he said he didn't care for her? He had already said it a million times, but only because they were arguing. Was that really how he felt? If it was, it might just crush her. But what if he did care about her? What would she do then? She had Alfred, and she knew that she would leave him in a second if she had the opportunity to be with Remus. But that would be wrong. She should have never asked. Maybe it would be better not knowing what was really on his mind. Maybe they should just go on keeping secrets from each other. Maybe life would be easier for the both of them.

"Tonks, I think you need to know something," Remus said. He was standing close to her now, and she felt like she needed to kiss him just like she did at the Burrow. But she ignored her wants and tried to focus on his words. "I'm a dangerous person. You may not think that I am, but you're wrong. You don't know me as well as you think you do. I'm scared of hurting you. So, can we leave it at that? Can you try to understand that so you won't get hurt?"

Tonks couldn't just leave it at that. She wanted to understand. She needed to know what he was talking about. He wasn't dangerous at all. She couldn't get hurt. "You're not dangerous, Remus," she said, taking his hand in hers. He flinched a little, but settled after a few seconds. "You're probably the calmest, most laidback person I know. How could you be dangerous to me?" She smiled a little, trying to ignore all of those feelings bubbling up inside of her. If only she could spill out everything she had ever felt for him, then she might finally be at peace with herself. But she couldn't. She knew that it could cause trouble. It had been causing trouble ever since she met him.

"You don't understand," he said. He jerked his hand away from her and turned away. He couldn't look at her right now. He was struggling to find a way to explain without saying too much. " I'm a monster. I'm not like other people. I wish I was, but I'm not. Maybe one day I can tell you everything, but now is not the time. Can you understand that?"

She wanted to say no, she wanted to know everything right now. Nothing was making sense, and she needed everything to fall into place. "Yes," she finally replied. "Can we be friends?"

Remus nodded and smiled at her. He thought that she might get mad at him again, but maybe she was feeling the same way he was. To say that her absence in his life didn't mean anything to him would be a lie. He had missed seeing her all the time. It wasn't the first time she had decided to stop coming to visit him. But the more they fought and the more they talked to one another, the more he missed her when she wasn't around. Sometimes, just seeing her walk in the room made him feel ten times happier. Although he had many friends, she was like a light that ignited every once in a while to lead him through.

"Do you think you might want to-" Tonks started, breaking him from his thoughts. She was interrupted, though, by the door to Moody's room being flung open.

"Here's an idea," Mad-Eye said, glaring at them both with his one eye. He must have taken the other one out again. "Why don't both of you shut up and go to bed? You have Auror training tomorrow, Tonks. And you…" He eyed Remus. "I don't know what you're doing tomorrow, but I'm sure it's important. So go to sleep!" With that, he stormed back into his room and slammed the door.

Tonks smiled at Remus in an end-of-conversation sort of way. "Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow. Or whenever, I don't know." She waved awkwardly, not knowing what to do next. Should she hug him, or just leave?

Remus coughed, trying to get rid of the awkwardness, but it didn't work. He held out his hand, and she shook it and smiled. He waved, and she turned and walked out the door.


	14. Chapter 14

**Okay, so I wasn't planning on updating so soon, but this is for my reviewer Claudia. I try to keep all of my readers happy. Now, I don't really know about this chapter, so you can judge on whether it's good or not. But these events are sort of inevitable. It has to happen sometime. So without further adieu, here it is. Hope you like it! (: **

On the Saturday of that week, Remus found himself completely alone for the whole day. Mad-Eye would be at the Ministry, and he decided to stay at the house. He was reading a book about Dark Arts, knowing that it would come in handy since he was living with Mad-Eye now. As he studied a section about Defensive Spells, he heard a loud crunch and a scream from outside. He didn't have to think twice to figure out who it could've been. No one else would have tripped coming up the porch steps.

He got up and walked over to the door, peering through the viewfinder to confirm his assumption. Sure enough, Tonks was next to the bottom step, gripping her ankle. Realizing that she wasn't getting up, he opened the door and walked outside.

"Are you alright?" he asked as he held out a hand to help her up.

"This is totally normal," she replied as she reached up for his hand and took it. "I've hurt myself a thousand times. Why do I have to be so clumsy? Ow!" She pulled her leg up and grabbed her ankle again. "I think I might have sprained it."

Remus rolled his eyes and pulled out his wand and pointed it at her leg. "Do you want me to fix it?"

Tonks looked up at him, her face suddenly becoming blank. He could feel a sarcastic comment coming on. "No, Remus. I just want to hop around on one leg for the rest of the day while you stare at me like I'm an idiot! Geez!" She grabbed his arm to steady herself and let out a breath of exasperation.

"You don't have to act like a bitch about it," he murmured under his breath as he waved his wand and let go of her leg.

"What did you call me?" Tonks crossed her arms and glared at him. "Did you call me a bitch?"

Remus smiled innocently and stuffed his wand back in his pocket. "No, of course not. So how are you? Did you pass your test the other day?" He spoke quickly in order to change the subject, although he knew that she wasn't actually mad at him.

"No, I didn't, actually," Tonks replied. "But I figure the third time's a charm, right?"

Remus shrugged and tried to act like he wasn't amused by her failure. "Sure, sure. Mad-Eye came home nice and fuming. I assume that was your fault? What exactly did you do?"

Tonks shrunk back a little, obviously embarrassed. "Well, I broke a few things. Things that can't exactly be mended quickly. But that's beside the point! Alfred and his parents are having a dinner party tonight, and since they don't think I'm ready for such a big gathering, they didn't invite me. So my dad got some movies for me to watch, and I don't want to watch them alone. Do you want to watch them with me?"

Remus was shocked. Alfred was throwing a party and refused to let his girlfriend be there? He didn't much about dating, but he knew that a proper boyfriend shouldn't be embarrassed by his girlfriend. He would never be embarrassed of Tonks…No! He had to push that thought from his head. He couldn't ever date her or anything. It would never happen.

"Slow down. What do you mean they don't think you're ready? Are they embarrassed?"

Tonks frowned, like she didn't want to reveal too much information. Truth was, she didn't. She wanted Remus to think that she was perfectly happy in her relationship. Maybe if she could make him believe this, then he could see her as more than a friend. Concisely, she wanted to make him jealous.

"No, no. They're not embarrassed of me. They're just afraid that I wouldn't like being around people I don't know. I am a little shy."

Remus narrowed his eyes in suspicion, waiting for any sign that she might by lying. He knew very well that she was not shy at all, and he didn't know how anyone could think that she was. But she was looking him dead in the eye and holding her ground, so he dropped the subject. "Alright. So what Muggle movies do you have?"

Tonks looked like she was about to explode with excitement. "You'll just have to see when we get to my house. Have you ever seen a television before? Those things are cool!" She grabbed his hand and pulled him away from the house, down the sidewalk and across the field in front.

For once, Remus didn't care that she was touching him. It actually felt oddly natural. "I learned about them in Muggle Studies. I've never seen one. I'm actually rather excited."

"Of course you are," Tonks replied, patting his arm. "I am too. Now, I'm not very good at Apparating. Are you?"

Remus glanced at her and shook his head. "I would, but I haven't done a Side-Along Apparition in a while, and I don't want to mess it up. Maybe we should just walk."

Tonks nodded, and they continued across the field. It was a long walk, but neither of them seemed to mind it. They talked about everything they could think of to talk about. Tonks told stories about how she was a troublemaker in school and how she spent almost every night in detention.

"One time, I just raised my hand in Potions to ask a question, and Snape gave me detention. I guess I caused a lot of trouble," she said. "Whenever anything happened, people always thought it was my fault. But I got used to it."

Remus was obviously amused by this. He knew that she caused trouble everywhere she went, but he never really thought about what she might have been like when she was in school. "I always thought that Gryffindors were the troublemakers," he said. "My friends and I were actually the worst when I was in school."

Tonks look at him in disbelief. "You're lying. You couldn't have been a troublemaker. You just don't seem like it. I mean, you seem like you might be one of those quiet kids that was alone all the time and did really well in school."

Remus laughed. "I did do really well in school. I just liked to spend time with my friends a lot too, and I never passed up an adventure. We owned the school. We were probably the most well-known students, and everyone wanted to be friends with us."

He stopped suddenly, realizing that he was talking about his old friends, the ones that had made his life a little easier. Now they were gone. Two of them dead, one in prison. He was the only one left, and he didn't deserve to be.

Tonks could sense that something was wrong. She stopped walking and let go of his arm, and she turned to face him. "What's wrong?"

Remus shook his head. He didn't want to talk about it, but he felt like she needed to know. He had discussed it with her before, but there was so much more to say. He could go on for hours about his three friends, four if he included Lily. The past didn't need to be brought up again… "It's nothing. Don't worry about it." He started walking again, and Tonks followed after him.

"I know that you miss them," she said, almost inaudibly. "I'm sorry. I really am." She looked up at him and smiled a little. She was feeling a little risky today, and that probably wasn't a good thing, but she would give it a shot. She reached out and grabbed his hand in hers, and she didn't let go.

For once, he didn't pull away from her. In fact, all he did was look at her for a second and continue walking. "It's okay. I don't want to bring the mood down. I'm sure you've got great movies for us to watch. Right?"

Tonks shrugged. "I have no idea. I've never watched a Muggle movie before. They seem kind of interesting."

The rest of their walk was quiet, but it wasn't the awkward quiet that normally seemed to be felt around them. It was actually rather peaceful, like they didn't need to speak in order to communicate with each other.

When they finally arrived at the house, Tonks let go of Remus's hand, leaving him feeling oddly alone, and flung open the door. "Mother dearest! Remus is here!" she called into the quiet house. When there was no response, she strutted inside, with Remus following closely after her.

"I hope you don't mind that they're all musicals," Tonks said as soon as they made it into the living room. She began rummaging in a box and throwing the movies onto the couch as she called out their titles. "_Moulin Rouge_,_ The Wizard of Oz, West Side Story, Grease, Cinderella, Beauty and the Beast_. Which one do you want to watch first?"

Remus grabbed a random movie and held it up to examine it. "_Grease_? What kind of moron would name a movie that?" He tossed it aside. "Well, they all look very interesting. Why don't you-" He stopped when he reached _Beauty and the Beast_. "Is this man a werewolf?" he asked shakily.

Tonks walked over to where he was and examined the cover of the movie. "I'm not really sure. Why don't we watch it and find out?" She grabbed it and popped it into the VHS player below the television, hoping that this was what she was supposed to do.

Remus cleared the movies off the couch and sat down. This movie wouldn't have been his first choice. He had had enough of beasts in his life, and he didn't want to spend the day thinking about the transformation that would be taking place in just a few days' time.

"Okay, I think I have it going," Tonks said as she pressed a button on the box and came to sit down on the couch. She pulled her legs in close to her and leaned her head on Remus's shoulder. Once again, he didn't seem to care. She couldn't help but smile. "See? We can be friends, right? It's not awkward."

Remus nodded, although he felt the opposite. It felt like his insides were churning, and he was about to be sick. He had never felt anything like this before, and he wasn't sure if it was a good or a bad thing. "It's not awkward at all…" he said.

"Oh! Shh! The movie's starting!" Tonks exclaimed as she cuddled closer to him.

It was strange. The movie started out with a beautiful girl that everyone admired, even though she was odd and didn't fit in with everyone else. Remus immediately thought of Tonks, because, even though she didn't read all the time and didn't have an eccentric father, she fit the character. He glanced at her, wondering if she was thinking the same thing as him, but she looked entirely too interested in the movie.

"Wow, that guy's a douchebag, huh?" Tonks said, elbowing Remus in the ribs. "He thinks that everyone loves him, especially Belle. It's so obvious that she just wants to be left alone and wait for the man of her dreams to-" She stopped, suddenly realizing that this man was almost exactly like Alfred. Did that make her Belle? It kind of did. She glanced at Remus, but he didn't seem to be paying attention. She wanted to turn the movie off and put in another one, but she didn't want to look stupid.

Wait…did that make Remus the beast? Missing pieces in their conversations together were starting to fall in place now. He had asked if the beast was a werewolf. He had told her that he was a monster. His house was torn up all the time. He had scars everywhere. He couldn't keep a job. Could this be possible?

She looked up at him, trying to keep calm, but it was hard to when she had finally figured everything out. Or, she might have figured everything out. She wasn't sure if she had learned something new or if she was just looking too much into the movie. Maybe the douchebag in the movie resembling Alfred was just a coincidence.

"Are you alright?" Remus asked.

Tonks snapped out of her thoughts and, realizing that she had tensed up a little, relaxed. "Yeah, fine." She was a terrible liar. She couldn't even pretend like she hadn't been hit with a huge thought such as that. And she knew that he would see it. In fact, he probably knew exactly what she was thinking. He probably knew that she had figured him out.

He did. She could tell by the expression on his face. He looked scared and unsure, and he climbed to his feet and started out of the living room. She wanted to go after him, but her legs didn't want to move.

"Remus…" she called weakly after him, but she knew that he wouldn't respond. Seconds later, she heard a crack from outside, and it was clear that he had Apparated. She wouldn't be able to talk to him. He would be shut up, trying to hide from her. She had missed the chance.


	15. Chapter 15

**Hey, guys! So, I'm updating a whole lot sooner than usual, because I'm directing a play, and I don't know how often I'll be able to post. This is probably the best I can do for this week. Also, the next chapter of Darkness will be posted very soon, if anyone wants to check that out. Leave a review and tell me what you want to happen next. (:**

Tonks had sat at her house for a week trying to decide on what to do with her new information, but she had no ideas. She found some of her father's old school books and studied them for a while, although she got really bored with them and fell asleep reading them more than once. But she needed to know. She had to find out what Remus really was. He was hiding something, and she had to know what.

One day when she was at Alfred's house, sitting in his living room and trying to ignore the heads of beasts mounted on his wall, she decided that she might ask him a few things about werewolves. He would know, since he was so obsessed with killing them.

"Hey, Alfred?" she said, a little unsure still, but her desire to know the answers to everything was taking over. "Can I ask you a question?"

"_May_ you ask me, you mean?" Alfred scoffed, rolling his eyes as he polished his wand. "Sure, anything. Just make sure it's quick. Father will be here in a while, and we need to go and check out the village for that werewolf. They said they haven't seen it in a while, but one can never be too safe."

Tonks's eyes widened. There was another clue. The werewolf at Godric's Hollow. And Remus didn't live there anymore… "Um…yeah. That's what it's about, actually. Do you know how long someone stays sick after they transform?"

Alfred looked up and narrowed his dark eyes, staring at her suspiciously. Not a lot of people would ask that question, considering that a lot of people didn't care about what happened to werewolves after their transformation. "I know the answer, but why do you need to know?"

That was just one of the many things about Alfred that Tonks hated. He always had to ask too many questions and get into people's business. He couldn't just accept something. "Mad-Eye wanted me to find out some things. You know, for the next section of our test."

Alfred raised an eyebrow. "Defensive Spells? Alright." It was clear that he didn't believe her, but he continued anyway. "It depends on the age of the human. If he or she is a teenager, it could be a very short amount of time. It could be as little as one day. But as he or she ages, it could take up to a week to recover. Is that enough for you?"

Tonks nodded as he continued to gripe about all of the Dark people and creatures in the world and how they needed more people like him to eliminate them. But she wasn't listening to any of that. Her brain was whirring, and she had to figure out a plan. She needed Remus to be able to trust her enough to tell her the truth. She just didn't know how to do it.

She would have to pretend like nothing was wrong, like she was still clueless. She had to go on about life like it was normal. If she could make him believe that, then she might have a chance at getting him to talk.

….

Remus didn't know how to handle what had happened at Tonks's house. He knew that she knew something. She had to. The way she looked at him during the movie showed that she had pieced something together. He didn't think she was capable of catching on to things like that, but he supposed that he had been fairly obvious about it. He tried to keep it a secret as best he could, but sometimes he slipped, and some people were smarter than they seemed.

The full moon was coming in two days, and it would be his first since moving in with Mad-Eye. He had no idea what he was going to do, but it seemed like Mad-Eye was already planning for it.

"I have a barn, and you might be able to stay in there for the night," he grumbled at breakfast that morning. "I just don't want anyone getting harmed. I actually heard at the Ministry that they've been working on a potion that could relieve the effects of a werewolf transformation. They tried it out last year, and it seemed to work pretty well. It doesn't completely stop the transformation, though. It just helps one to control their actions. It was approved about a month ago."

Remus stopped eating and glared at Mad-Eye from across the table. "Oh, and you wait until now to tell me. Thank you, Mad-Eye. That sure helps me a lot."

Mad-Eye opened his mouth like he was going to protest, but then settled on saying, "Someone's a little asshole in the morning." He paused when he felt Remus staring at him again, and then cleared his throat and said, "Well, it wouldn't do well for you this month. You have to take it for a week before the transformation. I didn't really think about it until now. I promise I'll try to get you some before next month. It would be incredibly useful. You could just stay in your room and-"

"Shh!" Remus interrupted. He stopped eating again and listened. He could have sworn that he heard something outside, and if it was a person, they didn't need to know anything about the conversation in the dining room.

Only seconds later, someone knocked on the door. Remus dropped his spoon and went to the door, expecting Molly and Arthur over for the day. But he was sorely mistaken. It was Tonks, accompanied by Alfred and a man who looked like an older version of Alfred. Through the small window, he saw her wave at him cheerily, like the whole world was happy, and he rolled his eyes. Did she ever stop smiling? Although he'd rather close the curtain and leave them standing in the brisk wind, he opened the door and let them in.

"Good morning, chaps!" Alfred's father said happily, and then he frowned. "Is this your home, good man? It looks like a shed." He stared around the room at all of the silver instruments and gadgets scattered across the entire house. It was quite messy, but a normal person probably wouldn't comment on it.

"Father, please," Alfred murmured. "This is my Auror trainer. Be kind to him so I can pass." For once in his life, he looked scared, but he regained his confidence after his father muttered an apology to Mad-Eye.

"Hello, Remus!" Tonks exclaimed. She hoped that she was covering up well enough. Maybe if she acted as cheery as she possibly could, he would think that she knew nothing. It seemed to be working so far. "What are you doing today?"

"Well, I was actually going to go to the Ministry with Mad-Eye and-" Remus began, but she interrupted him.

"Not anymore! We were all going down to Godric's Hollow to ask around about that werewolf that supposedly runs around those parts. I've heard that it's incredibly dangerous and it almost killed a woman." Tonks nodded quickly and smiled. "Would you like to come with us?"

Remus's eyes widened. He couldn't believe how she was acting. Just a few days ago, she had acted scared of him, exactly like she had found out about him, but now she acted like nothing had gone wrong. Maybe he had misunderstood. If he did, he felt bad for storming out without an explanation.

The real problem in the situation was that that woman that was almost killed was probably Sarah from the bookstore, and he was the horrid beast that had done it. But if he turned them down, would they get suspicious? He knew for a fact that he couldn't go with them. He had to stay. He had to get ready for the full moon.

"I'm not sure if I can make it today," he said, trying to keep his voice even. "It's rather important Ministry business that I need to attend to. But maybe next time, alright?"

Tonks frowned. She thought that if she invited him to the village, he might say something to her about his condition. She just had to try harder. "Don't you think you need to help us with our Auror training? We don't understand much about this stuff, but you're so intelligent and charismatic that it could come in handy today." She smiled, hoping that he wouldn't see right through her act. Normally, she wouldn't outright compliment him.

She was right. He raised an eyebrow and stared at her like she had completely lost her mind. "I'm intelligent and charismatic? Well, thanks. But I think you can do without me. I'll see you all some other time."

"Well, he said no. Can we go now?" Alfred begged in a whiny voice. "I want to find this out. I don't want a wild beast running around close to my house. It needs to be killed."

Tonks sighed and turned toward the door. "Well, alright. Hey, if you don't have any plans in the next couple of days, could you help me with something for Auror training?"

Again, Remus had to decline. He would probably be bedridden for the next week or so anyway. "I'll be busy for a while. Maybe check in sometime next week and see if I can, alright? Not now."

That's exactly what Tonks needed to confirm her suspicions. He had never been too busy. He would be sick in bed for the next week or so, and that meant that he _had_ to be a werewolf, right?

"Alright," she replied. "See you then."

As the three of them left, Remus could overhear Alfred's father telling Tonks about how dangerous older men could be and how she needed to watch out and act a little more faithful to Alfred. Remus had to agree. He was dangerous, and she did need to be careful around him. Being more faithful to Alfred was a different story, though. Alfred was still that douchebag from the movie.


	16. Chapter 16

**Hey guys! So I'm sorry that I didn't post for a while. We got a big snow here where I live, and that doesn't happen often. So I was excited! Well, again, I don't know how much I can post for the next month. I'm directing one show, stage managing another, and putting together a skit for church. I'll try to post on weekends, though. Um...I don't know how much more I'm gonna write on this one. I may split it into two or three parts. So I hope you guys enjoy this! (:**

When Tonks awoke on the Friday of that week, she immediately started thinking about what she was going to do tonight. Tonight was the full moon, and it was time now that she knew exactly what was going on. Alfred was supposed to come over and help her study for their next Auror training test, but he couldn't be there when she set out to Mad-Eye's house. She also had to sneak past her parents, who probably wouldn't let her out after dark, even though she was an adult now. She rolled her eyes just thinking about it. They were too overprotective.

She would have to lie, just like she had been doing for the past few months. She would tell them all that she was sick so that they would leave her alone, and then she would act. She just had to make herself look sick and make sure her mother didn't have the right remedy for her sickness. Otherwise, someone might get suspicious.

"Dora, are you awake?" she heard her mother yell from somewhere in the house.

She would have to act fast. She couldn't believe to what lengths she was going to just for one night, just to find out if what she thought about Remus was true. She rushed to her bathroom and grabbed a rag, wet it with hot water, and held it to her forehead. When she felt warm enough, she messed her hair up a little more than it already was and slowly made her way into the kitchen.

"Dora, can you help me with breakfast? Alfred said he was going to be over at around nine and-" She stopped throwing plates around once Tonks let out a terrible, sickly moan, the worst she could muster. She turned to her daughter and frowned. "Are you alright, sweetie?"

Tonks shook her head. "No, Mum. I think I might be sick."

Just like any mother would do firsthand, she felt Tonks's forehead and drew it back. "You're burning up! Let me see if I can find some medicine for you to take." She darted to the other side of the kitchen and started opening cabinets. "Where did I put that bottle?" she muttered to herself.

Andromeda always kept one bottle of medicine that she claimed could fix any sickness in the world, but for some reason she couldn't find it. It was like it had disappeared. And then Tonks spotted it by the sink. She had to get rid of it. Her mother had to stay away from her for the rest of the day so that she could finish her investigation. She coughed, and slowly, she acted as if she was having a cough attack. She leaned toward the sink and grabbed the bottle, slinging it to the floor and watching as it shattered into a thousand pieces.

"Oh, no," she said, a little too melodramatically. "Look at that. I dropped the medicine. I guess I'll just have to stay in my bed by myself for the rest of the day and hope that I get better by tomorrow."

Her mom stared at her like she had gone insane, and then she looked down at the floor. "Well, that's okay. I'll just go down to the village and get some more. I'll tell Alfred to wait until tomorrow to come over. You just get some rest, okay sweetie?" She smiled at Tonks, grabbed her purse and jacket, and headed out the door.

Mission accomplished. Her mother would be gone for a while, her father was a work, and Alfred wouldn't be coming over. Now all she had to do was make sure that it stayed that way for the rest of the day.

…..

To her dismay, it didn't. Her mother returned in a short thirty minutes, and she ended up staying in the room with Tonks for almost the entire day. When Tonks was about to give up and just get out of bed, an idea popped into her head.

"Mum, I'm really tired. Can I please go to sleep?" she asked.

Andromeda nodded. "Oh, of course, dear. Wow, look at the time. Your father will be home in a little bit. I need to get started on dinner. You sleep all you need to, honey. I won't bother you." She got up, kissed Tonks on the forehead, and walked out of the room.

As soon as she was sure that her mother was gone, Tonks turned over in bed and rolled her eyes. She had never done so much just to figure out something. And that something could end up being nothing.

She had two hours to get to Mad-Eye's house. The sun was low in the sky, and she knew that the moon would be up in no time. She got up and reached for her wand, which ended up not being where she had last put it, and ended up searching for it for what seemed like forever. When she finally found it, she got dressed and locked the door. Hopefully, she thought, a locked door would be a sign that she wanted to be left alone. She pulled her wand out, mumbled, "Muffliato," and opened her window. If she cast the spell right, she would be able to get out without either of her parents knowing.

As soon as she had made it out the window, she looked around to make sure that neither of her parents had rushed outside. They hadn't. She was still alone, and she would be for the rest of the night. Even in the face of a werewolf. She didn't know how she was supposed to defend herself, but she would figure it out when it came to the point where she had to.

The walk to Mad-Eye's was cold and lonely. The wind seemed to blow a little harder, and the night seemed to be a little darker than normal. Tonks could honestly say that she was terrified of what she was about to face, but she had to be brave. Her legs suddenly felt like they were made of lead. She had to struggle to keep her feet moving, taking her closer to Mad-Eye's. She was almost there. She just had to get rid of that sick, heavy feeling that was lingering in her stomach.

When she finally reached it, the moon was close to its full height in the sky. The lights in Mad-Eye's house were on, and she could see Mad-Eye at the table eating dinner. Remus was nowhere to be seen. She gulped and stepped closer, trying to see if Remus might be in the living room. He wasn't. As she took another step, she accidentally stepped on a branch, causing what sounded like a deafening crack to echo through the air. She paused, waiting to see if Mad-Eye had heard it. It seemed that he did, because he looked out the window in her direction. She ducked, hoping that she was far out of his line of sight. She knew that she was when he stopped looking and leaned back in his chair. He began talking to someone, and that could only mean that Remus was still in the house. She would have to follow him…

She crept past the window and to the back of the house, staying low to the ground and trying not to make a sound. It seemed like for once in her life, she wasn't so clumsy. She held her breath and stepped lightly, waiting for any sign that Remus was about to leave the house. The moon was high in the sky now, but it was covered with a thick layer of clouds. It was almost time…

And then she heard the back door slam, and she looked up to see that Remus was leaving the house. She gasped a little, realizing that she was in plain sight, and ducked lower to the ground. An Invisibility Cloak sure would come in handy right now, she thought, but she knew that she had to deal with what she had. And that was nothing except her wand.

She watched him make his way to the barn in the backyard, and she tiptoed after him. There was definitely something suspicious about this. Her assumption had to be true. There was no way she could be mistaken. He had lived in Godric's Hollow. He had almost attacked someone. He had moved, and the "attacks" had stopped. He always seemed so nervous about the subject. He said he was a monster, and he was dangerous. He couldn't make plans with her for the next week or so. And now he was walking out to the barn, away from Mad-Eye, and shutting the door. No, there was no way she was wrong.

Luckily for her, there was a bush close to the barn. She snuck behind it and rose just high enough to see through the window. It was dark, but the moon was just enough light for her to glimpse a peek at what was going on inside. There seemed to be nothing there. She waited a few more minutes, listening for a sound that might confirm her suspicions. And then it came. There was a mighty roar from somewhere in the barn, and then the door shook. She rose a little higher, trying to see inside.

There he was. It was a tall, hairy beast with long, scrawny legs and sharp teeth. She gasped; it was the first time that she had ever seen a werewolf in person. He stuck his nose in the air like he smelled something, and then he looked out the window. Her eyes widened. Had her scent really carried all that way?

Apparently it had. Only a few seconds later, the door started to shake, and she scrambled to her feet. Maybe she shouldn't have come. Maybe she should have stayed at home, sleeping in her room and studying with Alfred. As the door shook more and the back door opened to reveal Mad-Eye, she knew that she had to leave. She had figured everything out. She knew everything she needed to know. Now all she had to do was get home safely without being seen.

It wasn't hard to do. Mad-Eye didn't seem to see her. He had rushed to the barn and tried to hold the door, and she had snuck back to the front yard and darted back across the field. She finally reached her home in about a half hour. Her parents didn't seem to see her either. She was breathing hard, after running almost the whole way there. She was surprised that they didn't hear her. She was almost to her room. All she had to do was calm her breathing and get through the window, safe and sound in her bed.

The spell wasn't in effect anymore. She knew when she had slithered through the window and crashed to the floor, and her mother unlocked the door and rushed in, looking bewildered.

"What happened, sweetie? Are you alright?" she asked.

Tonks managed to look up from where she was crumpled on the floor. "Yes, fine, Mother. I just fell out of bed."

Her mother didn't seem to believe her, but she nodded and told her to sleep some more. Tonks got up from the floor, making sure that her mom was gone, and changed into her pajamas. As she crawled into bed, she realized that a weight had seemed to lift off of her, and even though she had been scared out of her mind at the time, she knew that it was a relief to know the truth.


	17. Chapter 17

**Hey guys! Sorry I haven't posted in a while. Like I said, I have a pretty busy schedule going on. But I promise that I'll at least try to post once a week. That's the best I can do. And I hope that you all enjoy this chapter. (: Another will definitely be posted on Wednesday.**

When Mad-Eye awoke the next morning, he went out to the barn to make sure that Remus was alright. After all, something had happened last night that was unexpected. There was someone there, he knew. There had to be. All of his silver instruments in his house had gone off, and Remus had almost broken out of the barn. The door was halfway off its hinges by the time Mad-Eye got out there.

"Here, take this," he said, tossing a blanket at Remus. "Now, I don't want you to get worried or think too much into this, but I think there was someone here last night."

Remus wasn't feeling well at all. He looked up lazily at Mad-Eye and sighed. "Who do you think it was? It might have been Molly or Arthur, or maybe even Kingsley."

Mad-Eye shook his head as he led him out of the barn. "No, I don't think it was one of them. Whoever it was left as soon as I came outside. I didn't have my eye in, so I didn't see them. I only heard a bush moving somewhere, and all of the instruments in the house were going off. I thought it might have been a Dark wizard, but they would have done some damage, wouldn't they?"

Remus nodded. He could hardly process what Mad-Eye was saying. He was tired and in pain. He could feel two fresh cuts burning on his back, and all he wanted was a little rest. "I'm sure it's nothing," he murmured.

Mad-Eye seemed to be more worried than he was. He wanted to make sure that Remus's secret was safe, and he had made the stupid mistake of taking his magical eye out for just a few minutes. He didn't know who could possibly have snuck past the house into the backyard without him knowing. All he knew was that someone that was uninvited had been there, and that couldn't mean something good.

"You just lie down for a while," he said as they walked into the house. "I'll only be at the Ministry for a few hours. Hopefully Tonks will be back today. She took a sick day yesterday and-" He stopped abruptly, looking utterly confused, and then nodded. "I'll see you later, Remus." With that, he waved and walked out the door.

It was as if Remus didn't even understand any words that were coming out of Mad-Eye's mouth. He just stared at him blankly the whole time he was talking, hearing only a blur of words. He was hardly aware that Mad-Eye even left. He was incredibly exhausted, and now that he was lying on the couch with a blanket over him, finally warm and cozy again, he even ignored the cuts on his back and drifted into a deep sleep.

…

Tonks hardly had her mind on her lesson with Mad-Eye today. But then again, the only person that did seem interested was Kadir, who had always been interested in everything teachers had to say. She stood next to Heinrich, who was balancing his wand in his hand, and Alfred, who was looking in a mirror and fixing his hair, which already lay perfectly on his head.

"Hey, you three! Why don't you try paying attention for once?" Mad-Eye barked at them. Alfred turned around to face him, looking angry and offended, and Heinrich only straightened up a little more and stowed his wand in his pocket. Tonks continued to stare into space, not really caring whether she was in trouble or not. It wouldn't be the first time in her life.

"Sorry, sir. I just thought that we discussed this topic yesterday," Heinrich said as kindly as he could muster. Normally, Heinrich had a terrible temper, especially when it came to Alfred. "It sounds like all of the same information to me."

Mad-Eye growled something under his breath as he stared at the three of them in turn. Kadir only sat on the other side of the room, not knowing what to do or what to say. "You want something different to do than listen to me, then?" He eyed each of them angrily as he spoke, his magical eye swiveling around in its socket.

"I just feel like I'm in school all over again," Heinrich said. "Like, I'm in Professor Binns's class. I fell asleep almost every day in there." He shrugged, trying to look innocent.

"Fine. I'll give you something different to do." Mad-Eye had a cold look on his face, and all of them knew that it couldn't be a good sign. "Why don't you write me a report on a Dark witch or wizard, turned in next week? And you can't choose Lord Voldemort! It can be recent or ancient, I don't care which. That's sure to bring back memories of school for you all, huh?"

They all groaned. Why couldn't they have just listened to him? That would surely have been more fun than writing a paper. And they knew that Mad-Eye wouldn't accept any made-up information or a short essay. No, it had to be something great.

"You're excused, Kadir," Mad-Eye growled. "I bet listening to my lesson looks really good right now, doesn't it?"

Alfred raised his hand. "Yes, I can't write a paper, sir. I'm already doing research and investigations for you, and I don't think I can do both-"

"Forget those damn investigations!" Mad-Eye yelled at him. "They're pointless. You're just looking for something to fill your time. This paper will do just fine."

….

Tonks couldn't stand reading one more book. She had the attention span of a goldfish, and she couldn't stay interested for much longer. This was the fourth book that she had looked at in the Ministry's book collection about Herpo the Foul, and if she had to read the name one more time, she might just explode.

"Mum!" she called from the living room as she shut the book and threw it onto the floor. She waited for a few seconds, and finally she heard her mother walking in that direction. The question she was about to ask was very serious, and her mother might get mad at her for asking. But it was much simpler than reading books for hours at a time.

"Yes?" Andromeda said sweetly as she walked into the room. "Are you feeling okay? Are you still sick?"

Tonks shook her head. "No, I'm fine. I was just wondering what you could tell me about my aunt Bellatrix."

"She's a bitch," Andromeda replied almost immediately, and then she gasped like she had said the worst thing in the world. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that in front of you."

Tonks rolled her eyes. "Oh my gosh, Mum. I've heard worse. Listen, I need to write a paper for Mr. Moody for next week about a Dark witch or wizard. I figured that you could tell me some things about your sister."

Andromeda sat down next to her on the couch, looking a little nervous, and said, "I don't talk to her. I haven't talked to her in more than twenty years. She got angry with me for dating your father, because he's…well, Muggleborn, to say it nicely. And she got infuriated when I announced our engagement and invited her to the wedding. Needless to say, she didn't show up. Neither did my other sister, Narcissa. Three years later, you were born, and I invited them both to come and visit. But neither of them showed up. About ten years ago, Bellatrix confessed to being a Death Eater, and they took her to Azkaban, along with her husband, Rodolphus. Narcissa is different, though. She and her family tend to keep secrets, unlike Bellatrix. They work for You-Know-Who too, but they just won't admit it." She looked almost upset, and she shook her head. "I think that's enough. I shouldn't talk about it anymore. Have fun writing your report." She patted Tonks on the head and got up, rushing into the kitchen once again.

Tonks had never really known anything about either of her aunts. She had heard their names brought up in conversation, but no one ever talked about them much. But now that she understood about them, she could see why everyone hated them. And now that she knew all of that, she wanted to hate them too. They didn't even want to meet her or have anything to do with their own sister. It was sad, really.

But that wasn't enough information for her report. Plus, she didn't know if they could write about a family member. Especially if it was someone like Bellatrix Lestrange. As she picked up her parchment and quill again, she knew that she would be in for another several hours of reading about Herpo the Foul.

…..

"They're a hassle, Remus," Mad-Eye grumbled as plopped down on one of his half-broken chairs. "I can't get them to pay attention to anything I'm saying. They get bored because they think I'm talking about the same thing all the time. Maybe they're just looking for something different to do. Damn kids." He popped open his butterbeer and took a sip out of it.

Remus groaned. He didn't know if Mad-Eye expected him to respond or not, but he wasn't going to. His back was hurting very badly, and Mad-Eye hadn't even asked if he could help in any way. He had just walked in and started drinking. Not that it mattered, anyway. He had suffered worse pains than this before. He could probably get through this one.

"Why don't you come and talk to them, Remus? Or maybe we can take them somewhere. Get the little hellions to shut up. Does that sound alright?"

Remus grunted in response. All he wanted was to go back to sleep.

"Okay, great. So sometime next week, we're taking them deep into the woods, and we're scaring the hell out of them." He laughed almost maniacally and walked back into the kitchen, leaving Remus alone for the night.

….

Mad-Eye was staring at Tonks like she had done some extraordinary, heroic act. All she had done was hand in her report the next day. Even Alfred, Heinrich, and Kadir were staring at her. She smiled, soaking in the attention while it lasted. She had finished her report before both of the boys, which was probably the most unusual thing that had happened since they started training.

"Are you telling me that you're finished with this?" Mad-Eye asked, looking down at the rolled-up parchment again, just to make sure that it was real. "You're not kidding about it?"

Tonks shook her head. She had driven herself crazy trying to get through an entire book about Herpo the Foul, and she had decided that, without her mother's knowledge, she would study over some family documents and write about her horrible aunt. Luckily, the information had filled up a little more than one roll of parchment, which would be just enough for Mad-Eye.

"Well, that's interesting," Mad-Eye said, still looking rather bemused about it. "I'll read it to make sure that it's okay, and then I'll get back to you on it. Now, for the other two…" He shot a look at Alfred and Heinrich. "Why don't you work hard like that? I mean, she never works! Ever! No offense, Tonks."

Alfred muttered something under his breath and rolled his eyes, clearly showing that he was jealous. After all, he liked to be the center of attention at all times, and he didn't appreciate it when someone stole his spotlight. Especially if it was his girlfriend.

"Anyway," Mad-Eye continued, his magical eye still gazing at Tonks, "I've decided that since none of you want to pay attention to anything I have to say, except for Kadir, then I might as well take you all somewhere so that you can get hands-on experience. So we're all going hiking next week with my friend, Remus Lupin. So you only have to listen to my lectures for just a few more days. Is that okay?" Not that he cared if they approved or not.

Tonks frowned. It would be the first time that she would see Remus since she had snuck over to Mad-Eye's two days ago. And the last image she had of him was a giant monster clawing at the door, trying to get to her. Needless to say, she was a little frightened to see him again. But, she would just have to pretend like everything was fine. She cared about him, and she couldn't let the fact that he might have killed her get in the way of that. Wow, that sounds really bad when it's put like that, she thought. But that was how it had been. And she had to pretend like it had never happened.

"Tonks!" Mad-Eye yelled. "You just turned in your paper early and now you're not listening to me? Don't disappoint me too soon."

"Sorry," she murmured. With everything that had happened this week, it was hard to stay in tune to Mad-Eye's lecture. But in a few short days, they would be out of this boring room and out in the wilderness again. That was sure to be fun, right?


	18. Author's Note

**Guys, I'm not trying to be pushy or anything, but I'm honestly not sure if anyone is still reading. If you are, please indicate that you still are. Because if I've lost all my readers, I don't see any point in setting back hours to write and post new things. I have plenty on my mind right now, and I'm trying to do this as well to keep you guys entertained. I'm still thinking about you. But if you're still reading, please tell me. Because otherwise, I'll stop posting. Thanks. (:**


	19. Chapter 18

**Wow, guys. I thought I might have had one or two readers, but I didn't expect that many. Thanks so much for reviewing and even reading. It sure means a lot to me. And to pay you guys back, here's a new chapter. (:**

Remus was finally able to manage enough energy to get up five days later. He walked over to the mirror in the corner of the room warily, a little nervous about seeing himself. He knew that he had fresh cuts on his body that had not been treated, and they still hurt like he had just gotten them last night. As he glanced in the mirror, he noticed just how old he looked. He was only thirty-two, and he looked like he was much, much older. It seemed to be getting worse as each month went by.

And then a pain shot up his back, and he knew that he had to see what kind of damage he did there. It felt like it was a lot. He turned around and lifted up his shirt just a little. There was nothing there. He pulled it up until he could see the injury, but it seemed like it wasn't there. Maybe he was just imagining the pain. He pulled his shirt off and looked again, and he saw that there were two claw marks on his left shoulder that only reached a few inches down his back. He sighed. Why did it seem so much worse than it was?

"Remus!" He jumped when he heard Mad-Eye's voice from somewhere in the house. "Put your shirt back on! This isn't a strip club!"

Remus turned around to see where Mad-Eye was; he hadn't heard him walk in the room. But Mad-Eye wasn't there. He must have been in his bedroom. And with that eye of his, he could see right through the wall.

He didn't want to look at the cuts anymore. He put his shirt back on and walked into the kitchen, where a jug of milk was sitting on the table. He grabbed a cup and poured some in, and as soon as he took his first sip, Mad-Eye walked in.

Remus almost choked. Mad-Eye was dressed in a white muscle shirt with a brown jacket, knee-length shorts, and big brown boots. His hair was pulled back in a ponytail.

"What the hell are you doing?" Remus asked. Mad-Eye had never dressed like this. He looked almost ten years younger, but it wasn't him. It was almost a disturbing new look.

"We're going hiking today, remember?" Mad-Eye said, gazing down at his outfit. "I'm dressing down since we'll be walking most of the day. I suggest you do the same."

Remus stared at him like he had gone insane. "What are you talking about?"

"I told you almost a week ago that we were taking those kids hiking," Mad-Eye said as he grabbed his own glass of milk. "Now hurry up and get ready. We're leaving in thirty minutes. They're meeting us here."

Remus didn't remember anything about a hike. Therefore, he didn't remember agreeing to go with Mad-Eye. But he had nothing better to do, so he decided that he might as well go. He took a bath and got dressed, and by the time he was finished, all of the Aurors-in-training were there.

"Well, I don't know why we're going hiking," Alfred was saying when he walked in the room. "We already went camping. Isn't that enough?"

Heinrich rolled his eyes and pulled his backpack onto his back. "Just look at it as a change in pace. It's better than being lectured every day and then having to take another test."

Mad-Eye grumbled something that was inaudible and then said, "Well, why don't we get going? We've got a lot of ground to cover today." He opened the door and walked outside, and everyone else followed after him.

"So this is what we're going to do," Mad-Eye whispered to Remus when they had gotten far enough in front of the teenagers. "I told them to only pack for one day, because we'll be going home late in the evening. But that won't be the case at all. These kids aren't taking anything seriously, and I think that I need to scare the hell out of them before they start to respect their classroom training. Now, you're going to be key in this plot, so pay attention."

Remus didn't like the sound of that. When Mad-Eye said that he was going to scare people, he didn't play. He probably came up with a very sinister plot that might be worthy of what a Death Eater might do. Remus didn't know if he would be able to pull off something so terrible. Especially if it came down to scaring Tonks. She already looked scared enough today, for some reason.

"You and I are going to 'go searching for some wood', alright?" Mad-Eye continued on, making sure to emphasize the air quotes. "Tell them we're building a fire, since it's so chilly outside. You're going to go back to them, and you're going to tell them that I went missing. They're going to have to search all day, and they won't find me. You're going to tell them that they have to stay the night because you can't leave without me. They have no tent and no protection, because I'm about to take their wands away from them. I'll do the rest from there. Just play along, alright?"

Remus rolled my eyes. He could already tell that this hiking trip was going to turn out to be a disaster. "I don't know, Alastor. What about their parents? Won't they get worried?"

Mad-Eye shook his head. "No, I already told them. They weren't too happy about it, I can tell you that. But how else am I supposed to teach them a lesson?"

"Mr. Moody, do you even know where we're going?" Kadir asked from behind them.

Both of the men turned around to look at the four of them. They had been so busy trying to keep their conversation private that they didn't realize where they were leading them. They were actually going the wrong way.

"Turn around!" Mad-Eye exclaimed, pointing in the other direction, and everyone did as they were told.

The walk through the forest was long and felt endless. Alfred and Tonks were talking, and Kadir was asking Mad-Eye lots of complicated questions about training. The only two that were silent through the whole way were Heinrich and Remus.

"My feet are hurting!" Alfred exclaimed when they had only been walking for an hour. "I think we should stop."

Heinrich rolled his eyes. While everyone else was dressed in loose, comfortable clothes, Alfred was dressed in neat khaki pants, a blue Polo shirt, and dress shoes. "We're not stopping. You're the only one that's complaining, and you're the only one who's stupid enough to dress like that."

"I dressed like this when we went camping a few months ago," Alfred said. He had stopped walking and was resting against a tree. "I was fine."

"And that's why you didn't get anything accomplished while the rest of us were working our asses off," Heinrich grumbled.

"You need to watch the way you talk to your superiors," Alfred said, pulling out his wand and crossing over to where Heinrich stood. Heinrich pulled his out as well, and, seeing that this would probably end in disaster, Mad-Eye stepped in.

"And that brings me to my next point," he said. "You won't need your wands today. We'll be completely safe. All we're doing is walking through the forest, and then we'll be returning home. Nothing serious."

The boys started to put their wands away, but Mad-Eye held his hand out to stop them, and they placed their wands in his hand.

"Tonks?" Mad-Eye said. "Where's your wand?"

Tonks shrugged. "I'm not really sure. I think it might be somewhere in my room. I couldn't find it this morning."

Mad-Eye gave her a disapproving look, but he acted like this was nothing new to him, because he just started walking again.

Remus glanced at Tonks before continuing on. She seemed so carefree and innocent about not being prepared for the trip, but when he looked at her, she frowned. It was like she was mad at him or something. But he couldn't let it bother him. If she was mad, she would just have to get over it, because he had no idea what he could have possibly done this time. He just ignored her and followed after Mad-Eye.

The rest of the walk was quiet. They continued on through the forest for almost two hours. The only noise was the occasional complaint coming from Alfred and the scoff from Heinrich that followed after that. But other than that, there was no noise.

"Why don't we stop here?" Mad-Eye suggested when they reached a fairly large clearing. "This seems like a nice place to have lunch. And then we'll get to walking again."

Kadir raised his hand. "Sir, is there a lesson in what we're doing today?"

Mad-Eye shook his head. "Not at all. This is a fun, free day for everyone. You guys deserve a break."

All of them exchanged glances like they didn't trust him, but they didn't object. Not having to stay at the Ministry for the whole day was a nice change, and they were glad that they could catch a break from it.

Tonks felt like she needed to tell Remus that she had seen him last week, but there was something else tugging at her, telling her that he didn't need to know. She knew him, and she knew that he would consider himself a threat to her and would try to cut off contact with her again. She couldn't let that happen. They had been friends for almost a year, and that was too far to go for them to let go of it now. Although she was a little afraid of him, she would just have to deal with it. She had to trust that he wouldn't hurt her.

She sat down next to Alfred, who was refusing to sit on the ground and had pulled up a rock to sit on, and pulled out a sandwich that her mother had made for her. Remus sat down next to her, and she could have sworn that she saw Alfred glare at him out of the corner of her eye, but she ignored it.

"Oh! There's a…there's a…" Alfred exclaimed only a few seconds later, pointing down to his shoe. Everyone jumped back in horror, thinking that there was something terrible there, but it was only a frog. Heinrich rolled his eyes, and Mad-Eye started mumbling angry profanities under his breath.

"Alfred, it's only a frog," Tonks said as she picked it up and tossed it across the clearing. "It won't hurt you."

Alfred gave her a disgusted look and pulled a bottle out of his pocket. "Hand sanitizer. I refuse to touch you until you use it."

He didn't seem to care that everyone was watching and that everyone there hated him. He shoved the bottle in Tonks's face and, reluctantly, she took it.

"Well, as fun as this is, I think that there are better things to do out there," Mad-Eye said, getting up from the ground. "Why don't Remus and I go and get some wood to start a fire with? This is just a no magic day. We're doing everything the simple way." He shot a glance at Remus and started out of the clearing.

"Can't we come too?" Kadir asked. "I mean, isn't this supposed to be a day for us too?"

Remus only shrugged. He didn't know why Mad-Eye was even doing this, besides the fact that they all thought that he was boring. He followed Mad-Eye into the forest, hoping that they wouldn't go through with this. He had never done any acting, and he especially didn't want to scare them. Well, he didn't mind if it was just Alfred, but the others he had nothing against.

"Remember that you're supposed to tell them I went missing," Mad-Eye grumbled as they walked through the forest. "Now I don't much care about the others, but be sure to scare that little ass Alfred really well. I have a feeling that he might be failing my training sessions in the future. Smart guy, but he just wouldn't make it out there."

Remus nodded. "Well, I have no problem with scaring Alfred. But what am I supposed to do with them the rest of the time?"

Mad-Eye shrugged. "I don't know about that. Just keep them preoccupied overnight. I'll be back tomorrow morning. After many, many frightening experiences that they'll have to endure." He threw his head back and laughed, sounding almost evil. "Just be sure to be really convincing, okay? Now, I have to get going and fix up some things for this whole plan. Just wait about fifteen or twenty minutes and then go back to them. That'll build up the tension." With that said, he limped farther into the woods and was soon out of sight.

Remus could only imagine the kinds of mischief that would go on tonight. He knew that knowing their teacher was missing would probably make them feel unsafe and frightened out of their minds. They had been put through many different situations, but they had never been through losing someone on the job. They wouldn't know what to do. And he would have to guide them through it and make sure that they don't figure out it's a fake story.

When fifteen minutes had passed, he headed back to the clearing, quickening his pace to make it look more urgent. He could see them coming back into view, and as he ran across the clearing, he could see that they spotted him as well. They immediately knew something was wrong, as he was alone and was running toward them.

"What happened?" Tonks asked as she got up from the ground and ran to meet him. "Where's Mr. Moody?"

The others came to join her. Alfred put his arm around her and eyed Remus like he was a piece of trash. "Where's the wood? Could you not handle it yourself?" He smirked.

"Mad-Eye went missing," Remus said breathlessly.

They all exchanged glances, somewhat doubtful about it. Mad-Eye was a rather strong, independent man, and it was a very hard thing to believe that he might have gotten lost and couldn't get back.

"Are you sure he didn't just go farther into the woods for a little while? Maybe he'll come back in an hour or so," Tonks suggested with a smile.

Remus shook his head. "I don't think so. He went down a hill where a tree had fallen to see if he could use any of the wood off of it, and he didn't come back. I called for him, but he didn't answer. I went to look for him, but I couldn't find him. It was just like he had disappeared."

They all looked at each other again. It seemed believable…but it was so hard to imagine Mad-Eye getting lost. Especially since he had his wand with him…

"Couldn't he just use his wand to get back?" Kadir asked, expressing everyone's thoughts.

Well, that was a good point. Remus didn't know if he could come up with an explanation for that. But he had to think of something. He had to lie. "I found it where I last saw him. It was broken in half," he said, trying to act frightened.

Alfred rolled his eyes and pushed his way to the front of the group. "I don't believe any of this. You'll have to go show us where you last saw him. We'll have to do some investigations."

"Oh, please," Heinrich said, rolling his eyes as well. "What do you know about investigations?" He looked at Remus. "We can help you look for him. But of course, we'll have problems without our wands. Do you have yours?"

What would Mad-Eye want him to do? "No, he took mine too," he replied, after much consideration. "So I guess we won't be using any magic."

"Why don't we just go looking for him?" Kadir suggested. "Maybe he's just gone for a walk or something."

After all of the teenagers arguing for a while, they finally decided that they should go look for him. It was almost three in the afternoon, as far as they could tell, and the sky was starting to become dark as storm clouds began to roll in.

"I hope it doesn't rain," Alfred said as they all started to climb a hill and he slipped on a wet rock. "My shoes would be ruined."

"I thought you said they were boat shoes," Heinrich responded.

"Yes, they are. But they're meant to be worn on the boat, not off," Alfred explained like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

With that said, Remus was once again reminded of why no one liked him and once again found himself wondering why Tonks was with a guy like him.

Mad-Eye had only told Remus what he was supposed to do after he supposedly went missing. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to do with them while he was gone. He wasn't even sure how he was going to contact Mad-Eye, or if Mad-Eye even wanted them to be in contact with each other. He actually wasn't even sure why Mad-Eye was putting so much effort into scaring them into wanting to be in the classroom. But nevertheless, he tried to stall the four of them by leading them deeper and deeper into the forest, killing time and hoping that Mad-Eye might try to send some information to him. Or maybe he should say something to Mad-Eye, by way of Patronus. But that might be a little obvious. So he decided that there was nothing he could do and was almost as clueless as the four teenagers were.

Everything was fine for about an hour. The storm clouds lingered, but nothing seemed to be happening. And then, like a hole had been poked in one of the clouds, a single raindrop fell on top of Alfred's head.

"Ah! It's starting to rain!" he yelled as he threw his hands over his perfect, slicked-back, brown hair. "What am I going to do about my shoes?"

"Here," Tonks said, opening her bag and holding out her hand. "Just give them to me. I'll put them in my bag, if you're so scared of ruining them."

Alfred looked at her like she had gone insane. "What? I'm not walking around in the forest in my socks! That's disgusting!" He looked at Remus. "Can't we just go home and come back tomorrow?"

"No," Kadir replied, without a pause. "If one of us went missing, Mad-Eye would come searching for us. So we're staying. We're not going anywhere without him."

There was a moment of silence, and everyone waited for Alfred to fight back, but he didn't. Instead, he just rolled his eyes and continued into the forest, staying far away from everyone else as the rain started to pour down.


	20. Chapter 19

**Okay. I do enjoy writing. Seriously. But I enjoy doing other things too. And I was wondering if people were still reading, because if they were, I was going to keep posting for them to read, not to please anyone. I was only checking to see who was reading so that I could set back some time to post a new chapter. But thanks for all the positive feedback. (: **

**I'm kind of having writer's block now. I have no idea where to go from where I'm at now, so if you guys have any ideas, please tell me. I appreciate all of you. (:**

Remus ended up leading everyone to a random clearing where a tree had fallen, and he claimed that this was where Mad-Eye had last been seen. They all searched around for what seemed like hours, looking for his broken wand or any sign that he might still be alive. They had no such luck.

The rain was pouring down so hard that their clothes had been soaked, and they could hardly walk because of the weight that the clothes had put on them. The mud was starting to thicken, and Alfred was almost crying. He wanted his wand, and he wanted to go home. Once, they could have sworn that he said that he didn't care about Mad-Eye. He just wanted to go home.

They had to take shelter under a tree, although it didn't help much. The rain didn't let up, and soon, thunder started to rumble and lightning started to streak across the sky. They wouldn't be safe from the lightning for much longer, and there was nothing they could do. Remus was hoping that Mad-Eye would show up and tell everyone that it was a joke, but he never did. Instead, they had to hold their backpacks over their heads and hope they didn't get struck by lightning.

"What is that?" Heinrich asked, pointing to a spot on the trail when they were heading back to the clearing. "It looks like…" He trailed off.

As they all surrounded the mysterious object, Remus reached down and grabbed it. They couldn't exactly tell from all the mud on it, but when he wiped it off, Tonks let out a small gasp. It was Mad-Eye's magical eye, staring up at the stormy sky, unmoving.

None of them spoke, nor did they move. They just stood around in a circle, letting the rain hit them, and stared at the eye. Remus was starting to wonder if maybe Mad-Eye really had gone missing. It would be nice to be a little more informed than the rest of the group was.

Kadir put the eye in his backpack, and they started back to the clearing. Not a word was said on the way back, although it sounded like Tonks might have been crying.

The sun had set. Darkness engulfed the entire forest, and the rain had finally stopped. Alfred stood, almost ankle-deep in mud, refusing to sit on the wet ground along with everyone else. Heinrich sat next to Kadir, and they studied the eye carefully, like it was the only thing that mattered right now. Tonks sat next to Heinrich, staring out into space, finding no words to say about this whole situation. Remus sat next to her, wondering how long Mad-Eye was going to make this last.

"I'm about to Apparate back home," Alfred said, the first words that had been spoken in a long time. "We've been here the whole day, and I'm tired. He obviously isn't coming back. I don't feel like waiting anymore. If we do, we'll end up staying the night, and we have nowhere to sleep. Plus, I'll be missing Mother's brunch tomorrow, and I shouldn't have to do that. I don't want Mr. Moody to be gone, but we've been looking all day. Let me know as soon as you find him. Maybe I'll be back tomorrow."

With those words, he was gone with a loud crack. Tonks rolled her eyes, obviously the only person who hadn't expected him to leave. She was already full to the brim with a ton of emotions, and anger wasn't one that she wanted to add to it. She wanted to leave too, but only because she wanted to return to her life, the one that existed just this morning, when her teacher wasn't missing and she wasn't stuck in the wilderness without her wand. Maybe if she had a Time-Turner, this could have been avoided. But she didn't, and she knew that she would have to remain here.

She looked up, and Kadir said something, although she couldn't process what it was. Nothing seemed to make sense to her right now. And then she saw him look at her and nod toward Remus, although she didn't understand that right now either. All she wanted was to be alone, to be able to think things over, to figure everything out on her own. But then she realized that she and Remus were alone, and Kadir and Heinrich had walked away into the forest.

"I don't think they should go by themselves," she murmured, so low that she could hardly hear herself. "It's dangerous."

Remus looked over at her, the first time they had really made contact with each other all day, and she looked back, finally out of her daze. "They'll be fine, I promise. They were going to look for something to make a tent out of. I think they're set on staying the night."

Tonks nodded. "So am I. I'm not leaving until I know what happened to Mad-Eye."

Remus didn't like seeing her so upset. He hadn't ever seen her cry before. And now she was wiping away tears and trying to keep from crying anymore. He thought about telling her the truth, wanted her to smile again and know that everything was alright, but she spoke, changing the subject.

"Can you please shave your mustache off? It really bothers me."

It was random, and when he looked back at her, he could have sworn that she was smiling just a little bit. "No," he replied simply, smiling back at her. "I like it just the way it is, thanks."

From somewhere nearby, they heard quick, running footsteps, and they both stood up, searching for the noise. It had to be Heinrich and Kadir, it had to be. But what if it wasn't? They had only been gone for a few minutes. Who would they be back so fast?

Seconds later, Heinrich appeared from behind the trees where he had departed, panting and out of breath. He stopped right in front of them, bending down to catch his breath. As soon as he had calmed down a little, he looked up at them, a look of horror clearly written on his face.

"Kadir…he's gone too…"

At first, neither of them knew how to react. Remus was stuck between disbelief and curiosity. If this was part of Mad-Eye's prank, he had not been informed of it. And if it wasn't part of it, then he had no idea how to handle this. The next thing he knew, Tonks had flung herself into his chest, crying harder than she had all night. He reacted instinctively, by wrapping his arms around her and pulling her closer to him. He couldn't believe how out-of-hand everything had gotten.

"We need to go look for him," Heinrich said. "He's my best friend. I can't just let him go missing. We can't lose our teacher and the smartest person in our class in one night."

And so they set out, once again, to look for Kadir. Heinrich was the most anxious and persistent of the three of them; he flitted about in every nook and cranny of the forest, searching for a clue, any clue, as to where they could be.

After almost an hour, they had no such luck. Dark, stormy-looking clouds had rolled in, threatening another storm any minute now. The moon's light had been extinguished, and the three were standing under a tree in complete and total darkness.

"What are we supposed to do?" Heinrich asked. "Do we need to keep looking? We can't see anything."

One single raindrop broke through, and they all knew that there would be another rainstorm in just a few seconds. It would be pouring down in thick sheets, and there would be no reason to continue on their search.

This night was the most frightening of Tonks's life. She wasn't even sure if she was going to make it out alive, or if the other two would either. She knew now, with her life at risk, that she had to tell Remus everything. He had to know how she felt about him, and he had to know that she knew his secret.

"Remus, if this could possibly be our last night alive," she said, turning to him as the rain started to drench them again, "then I think I need to tell you something."

Remus turned around to look at her. Or, he thought he was looking at her. He couldn't exactly see in the darkness. "I have to tell you something too."

Tonks perked up a little bit. She could feel her heart beating just a little faster, and she just knew that it had to be that he felt the same way. He had to. But she could never really trust her instincts. She needed to know. "Okay, you go first."

Remus took a deep breath and let it out. He didn't know how either of them would react to this news. He had to tell them that this was all a setup. It just wasn't fair to them. "Um…Mad-Eye isn't missing…" he murmured, almost so low that no one could hear him.

"He's not missing?" Tonks repeated, like she hadn't heard him at all. "Is that what you said?"

"Yes, that's what he said." Everyone was shocked to hear the voice again. It was that gruff, angry voice that they hadn't heard since the morning, and now he was back, somewhere close by, talking to them. "Thanks for ruining it, Remus. I was about to scare the living hell out of them, more so than I already had." Although it was dark, they could vaguely see a shape emerging from the shadows.

"Why would you do something like that?" Tonks yelled at the shape. She turned to Remus. "Were you in on this?"

Remus gulped and nodded, and, realizing that she couldn't see him, spoke up. "Yes, I was. But I didn't know everything. I just knew that he planned on going missing. That's all I knew."

Mad-Eye laughed a deep, maniacal laugh. "Yep, he knew. And so did Kadir. He 'went missing' too." He laughed again as another shape emerged from behind him. "So now do you prefer being in the classroom or out in the real world?" He didn't give them time to respond. "Great. I'll be seeing you all tomorrow. Wait, where is that little asshole Alfred?"

"He left," Heinrich replied, rolling his eyes.

Mad-Eye shook his head. "Idiot. I knew he wouldn't last very long. I might just fail him." He paused. "Well, there's no sense in standing around getting rained on. I'll see you both tomorrow morning, eager to learn from me. Understood?"

Heinrich and Tonks nodded. "Wait," Heinrich said, but Mad-Eye had already Apparated. "What about our wands?"


	21. Author's Note 2

**Hey, guys. I know I haven't posted on here in like, three months, but I became busy, and then I just got writer's block and couldn't think of anything else to write. But now that I've realized just how much I live writing fanfiction and how much positive feedback I've gotten on this fic in particular, I think that I need to continue. As I said, it's been a while since I've posted, so I'll have to go back and re-read everything that I've written to make sure I remember. But hopefully there will be a new chapter posted sometime soon. Like, maybe this weekend. I dunno...**

**But thanks for reading, and I'm glad that so many people left me such nice comments. 3 you guys! (:**


	22. Chapter 22

**Hey! Sorry it took me a week longer than what I promised, and I'm not going to lie, I was just too lazy to do it. But I finally finished this chapter, and the next chapter is probably gonna be incredibly intense. I won't say why, but I hope this fun chapter ties you over until I post again. (:**

It had been several weeks since the expedition into the forest, and Tonks felt like she hadn't learned anything from the whole ordeal. She tried as hard as she could to pay attention in class, but standing around and listening to a lecture was never interesting, and going out into the real world was terrifying. Maybe she should have thought twice before she decided to be an Auror. She wanted to fight Dark wizards and save people, but she didn't want to go through three years of training just to be able to do it. And she didn't want to even think about people possibly dying out there, trying to save others. It was too much to bear.

As for her training, she wasn't doing so well, even if she was paying attention. She failed her test once again due to her clumsiness, and it was holding her back. She wasn't able to move on at the same pace as everyone else, and it was really upsetting to her. She wanted more than anything to complete all of this and get it over with, but it was incredibly hard.

She was the only one in her group of four that was able to pass the Concealment section of the test, however, and that put her at a head start. But it didn't make her feel any better. She had about two years to go before she was a full Auror, and she had plenty of time to prepare and train. Maybe it was the fact that she felt like she was growing up too fast. She didn't feel like she was as old as she was. In fact, next month was her nineteenth birthday. And she didn't want it to be. She wanted to stay a kid, just like she was at Hogwarts. She was the most troublemaking teenager that the school had ever seen, besides the Marauders. And she kind of wanted to stay at that point for just a little while longer, but she knew that she had a duty to fulfill. She had to help people. That's what she had wanted to do her whole life. And even when she first started school, she was an expert dueler. This is what she had to do. So she had to try harder and stop playing around. This was her future that was at stake, and she needed to start taking it seriously.

As for her relationship with Alfred, it had hit an all-time low. She hadn't been happy with him from the beginning; she simply wanted someone there to make her feel a little better about herself. Although she appeared to be rather self-confident, she wasn't. And now, since she was dating Alfred, she couldn't get rid of him. He seemed to care a lot about her, even though he brought her self-esteem points down a lot each day. And her parents seemed to like him. But she just wasn't happy. She wanted to be single again, to be free and able to do what she wanted. But on the other hand, she didn't want to be alone. She was just confused.

Today was October 31, which meant that it was Halloween. And she was sitting at home alone. Her parents had gone to a party at one of their friends' house, which made her extremely uncomfortable. They had dressed up in costumes for the party, since it was one of her father's Muggle friends that was having the party. Her father had dressed up as a '20s gangster, and her mother had dressed as a flapper. It was incredibly embarrassing, and she refused to step out of the house with them looking so ridiculous. And when she tried to make plans with Alfred, he had refused because his mother was having a dinner party tonight that she wasn't invited to. So she was left alone on Halloween, only the best holiday of the year.

But then again, she could go into the Muggle world tonight too. After all, they would blend in perfectly fine, since everyone would be dressed eccentrically. But if she was going into the Muggle world, she was going to dress in costume too. Otherwise, there would be no fun in going.

…

Mad-Eye was gone on some official Ministry business, Molly was having a dinner date with Arthur, and Kingsley was out of the country and wouldn't be back for several days. So that left none of Remus's close friends that he could be with tonight. Well, except for Tonks, but she was hardly considered a close friend. But he didn't really want to do anything tonight. The full moon had already passed for the month, so he was feeling perfectly healthy. Well, as healthy as he could feel. Yet all he wanted to do was sit at Mad-Eye's house and drink his troubles away. It had now been eleven years since he lost his best friends, and that's all he could possibly think about. So he sat on the couch with an empty bottle of mead next to him, when he heard a knock on the door.

He didn't exactly want to move from his position on the couch, so he sat there and ignored the noise. Whoever it was would go away in a few minutes. Or, so he thought. A few minutes later, there was another knock, this time more urgent. Although he might regret it later, he got up, throwing the bottle down next to him, and opened the door.

It was Tonks. She was dressed in a short, strapless black dress with a fuzzy trim on the top and bottom, and she had black gloves on, along with what appeared to be ears on her head and black high heels that tied all the way up her legs to her knees. Her hair was a blazing orange color.

"I'm sorry. May I ask what you're doing?" Remus asked, looking her up and down. It didn't take an idiot to admit that she looked…well, hot. He was completely dumbstruck. "What are you supposed to be?"

"I'm a cat!" Tonks exclaimed happily, pointing to the ears on her head and turning around to show him the long, black tail pinned to her dress. "Does it look okay?"

"Yeah, fine," Remus replied, still unable to form words as he stared at her. "Um…why are you…why are you dressed like this?"

"Because you're taking me trick-or-treating!" She wore the widest smile that she had worn in a while. Even though there were a lot of wizards that probably wouldn't be excited about this, she was beyond thrilled. Why didn't wizards ever dress up once a year to celebrate?

"So let me get this straight," Remus said as she came inside and he shut the door, "You want me to take you house-to-house so you can get some candy?"

Tonks nodded, like that should have been obvious to begin with.

"Dressed in that ridiculous getup?"

Tonks frowned. "I look ridiculous?"

Remus rolled his eyes. He should have known that she would take offense to that. "No, you don't. I'm sorry, but I'm really not in the mood for-"

"Why?"

Again, he rolled his eyes and sighed. "I feel kind of sick-"

"You always do." She stopped, like she suddenly realized something, and then spotted the empty bottle of mead on the floor. Her eyes narrowed. "Have you been drinking?"

"Er, not too much," Remus answered, running a hand through his hair. Why was it that she was the only one that ever pried into his life? "I'm sorry. Do you want me to take you to get candy?"

Tonks nodded happily, like she had completely forgotten about his alcohol problems. "Yeah, but you have to dress up."

Remus raised an eyebrow. "Um…no. I'd prefer that I didn't have to." He walked over to the coat rack, grabbed his coat, and opened the door, which allowed a cool breeze to roll in. "Are you cold?"

Tonks shook her head. "No. I'm fine. But I really think you should dress up, Remus."

"I am dressed up," he said as they walked outside and he shut the door.

"Oh, really?" Tonks asked sarcastically. "As what?"

"A Muggle."

Tonks rolled her eyes, but she went along with it. After all, she now had something to do tonight that she wasn't doing alone. Even better, she was with Remus, and he was the closest to a best friend that she had.

Remus only agreed so that he could get out of the house. He didn't want to start drinking again, and he didn't want to dwell too much on his thoughts. So he was somewhat grateful that Tonks had shown up at Mad-Eye's house, even if she was looking way too mature for her age right now.

"You know, you could have been a mouse."

"No."

"Oh, okay. I see how it is." Tonks crossed her arms and shivered a little. It _was _cold outside, but she wouldn't admit it to Remus. He would enjoy her wrong choice too much.

"So you are cold," Remus said after a few minutes of silence, a crooked smile on his face.

"No," Tonks retorted as quickly as possible, trying not to shiver as another gust of wind blew by them. "I'm fine."

Remus rolled his eyes. "Of course you are. You see, that's what you get for not putting on any pants or a bloody jacket before we left."

"Cats don't wear pants and jackets, Remus," Tonks replied cleverly. He couldn't argue with that, right?

"They don't wear short, skimpy dresses and high heels either. Seriously, Tonks, you look like a hooker. Have you realized that?"

Tonks nodded and smirked. "Of course I've realized it. But it looks cute, right? You know it looks cute. Don't think I didn't notice you staring at me. You just don't want other boys looking at me. Is that it?"

Remus couldn't believe that they were on this subject again. Even though they didn't share any serious feelings for each other, they still discussed it as if they did. This wasn't even a topic that he wanted to be on, and he had to get out of it quickly. He should have never said anything to her. "I don't care if they look at you or not. But I'm sure if Alfred were here, he would care."

Tonks frowned, suddenly feeling a whole lot less enthusiastic about the night. They had walked quite a while, and they had reached a fairly large downtown area with lots of people milling about in the streets. "I don't care what Alfred thinks, because he doesn't own me. As long as I'm having fun, it shouldn't matter. So if you would kindly stop. You're being kind of a buzz kill."

With those words, she stomped ahead of him, almost tripping several times in her huge, clunky high heels. Remus trailed behind her, making sure that she didn't fall, but otherwise not having any contact with her. He didn't want to make her miserable.

He had never been trick-or-treating, nor had he ever even ventured into Muggle territory on Halloween, so all of the kids in costume did surprise him a little bit. But even worse was having to go door-to-door, asking people for candy. What was the point of that?

"Trick-or-treat!" Tonks exclaimed excitedly when the first people opened their door.

"Oh, don't you look cute," the woman said as she placed candy in the bag that Tonks was carrying. "You know, most teenagers don't think it's fun to go trick-or-treating anymore. I'm glad that you still enjoy doing it." She looked up at Remus, who was standing in the yard, far away from the door. "And it's so nice that your father still takes you. Most parents just don't care anymore."

Tonks frowned and looked at Remus, hoping he hadn't heard that. "No, ma'am. I'm eighteen. He's just my friend. He's nowhere near old enough to be my father."

The woman looked like she had said something terrible, and her eyes widened. "I'm sorry. Here, take some more candy. And have fun tonight." She smiled a little and grabbed a huge handful of candy and dropped it in the bag, and then she shut the door.

"Hello, oh daughter of mine," Remus said as Tonks walked back over to him. He had a teasing tone, but Tonks could tell that it wasn't very funny to him.

"Just don't worry about that, okay? She probably just couldn't see you very well." She looked up at Remus and tried to smile, but it faltered just a little. "Um…do you want some chocolate? That's the only good thing she gave me. The rest is that cheap, nasty candy that no one eats."

"No, I don't want any chocolate," Remus replied, his voice sounding a little sad now.

Tonks couldn't let him be so unhappy. She had to do something. Tonight was supposed to be about having fun, not moping around and brooding over everything. She pulled out the Hershey's bar that was in her bag and waved it in front of his face. "I know you want this. You don't have to lie."

"I don't want the chocolate bar."

"Yes, you do. It'll make you feel better!"

"No, it probably won't."

Tonks quickened her step so that she was now in front of him, walking backwards. "You need to smile. For me. Please?"

"Give me a reason to smile then."

Tonks rolled her eyes and threw the candy back in her bag. "Shouldn't it be enough that you're with me? And we're out here in the Muggle world having fun?"

"Well, that's all very well and all," Remus said as he tried to pass her, "but I'm not having fun. Can we go home?"

"Noooooooooooo," Tonks replied as she took his hand in hers and smiled at him. "You should just be happy that I haven't tripped over anything yet. I mean, I've never gone this long in high heels without-" She hadn't tripped exactly, just simply ran into something that almost sent her flying forward onto the ground.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-" The teenage boy that she had run into had almost the same expression on his face as Remus had when he first saw Tonks. "I didn't mean to…run into you…"

Tonks looked quickly at him; then at Remus; then at her hands, which were still holding tight to Remus's; and then back to the boy. "It's fine. I wasn't paying attention."

"Hey, how old are you?" the boy asked, as if Remus wasn't even there.

"Um…eighteen," Tonks answered uncomfortably, letting go of Remus's hands and pulling her dress down a little, trying to prevent it from riding up.

"Oh, an older lady. Awesome. I'm seventeen. Listen, my friend is having a party, and I was hoping maybe you might want to come with me." The boy looked rather hopeful as he eyed her, and Tonks shifted from one foot to the other, trying to think of an answer without being rude. The boy finally realized that Remus was there. "Oh, sorry. I didn't realize you were with your dad."

Remus rolled his eyes and threw his hands up in defeat as he walked away from the scene. He was getting tired of being called older than he actually was.

"Dad? Uh…no…" Tonks said, as she watched Remus walk away. He stopped. "No, that's my um…that's my…" She smiled mischievously and hoped that the boy wouldn't be able to tell she was lying. "He's my customer. I'm a hooker, you see." She nodded vigorously and put on a straight face, like that was more assuring to the boy.

Remus turned around to look at her like she was insane, but then he smiled and tried to hold back his laughter. The boy looked almost terrified.

"Um…really? I mean…why?"

Tonks shrugged. "A girl has to have some way to make money."

And then the boy started digging in his pockets, where he pulled out a large wad of bills. "Will this be enough?"

Remus laughed, unable to hold it in any longer. He knew that Tonks wanted to mess with the boy, but it looked like the joke had backfired on her.

"Uh…no," she replied, suddenly not seeming so confident in her plan. "No, this man is a regular customer. And he pays me much, much more than that. Sorry." She shrugged and walked over to Remus, grabbing his tie and pulling him closer to her. "Grab my ass," she whispered.

"I'm sorry?" Remus said, completely bewildered by how out-of-hand this had gotten in such a short amount of time.

"Just do what I tell you. We have to make it convincing, don't we?"

Remus was about to object, but her mouth had met his, completely erasing all of the thoughts that were filling his mind at the moment. For the time being, all that mattered was this girl. It didn't matter whether he had been called her father tonight, nor did it matter that he was putting her in danger. All that mattered was this moment, frozen in time, permanently stuck in his mind. He would never forget this, nor the first time this had happened.

When Tonks pulled away from him, he tried not to smile, tried not to let her see that something she had done tonight had made him happy. But it was hard. Especially since he knew that the only feeling he had for her was friendship. He didn't know what to do.

"I'll be calling you later," the boy said before running off like a coward.

Tonks laughed. "It's so fun to mess with people. Especially if I get to pretend to be a prostitute in the process." She frowned when she saw the look on Remus's face. "What's wrong?"

Remus shook his head. "Nothing. I just…do you want to stay here, or do you want to go home?"

Tonks pursed her lips and let out a breath as if she was thinking about something, and then she nodded. "If you want to leave, we can. I know you're not having fun. Plus, this Muggle candy sucks." She pulled one of the candy bars out of her bag and threw it back inside in disgust.

Remus chuckled a little and started to walk back in the direction that they had come from. He was starting to feel a little dizzy, even though alcohol rarely affected him as much as it used to. Maybe he was just tired. Or maybe he was just depressed and nothing, not even Tonks, could cheer him up. He glanced over at her, trotting happily beside him and occasionally stumbling in her high heels, and wondered how she could be so happy and carefree about life. It was as if nothing bad had ever happened to her.

"Are you cold?" he asked her.

This time, Tonks shivered but didn't lie to him. "A little bit, yes. But I'll be okay. I'm so stupid. I should have grabbed a coat."

Remus took his off and draped it on her shoulders. "I'm fine. You need it more than I do."

Tonks smiled a little at him and looked down at the ground. "So do you want to tell me why you're so upset?"

Remus really didn't want to tell her anything, but he knew that if he didn't, she would be pestering him about it all night. "Nothing. I just…I still think about them. James, Sirius, and Peter. I never would have suspected that Sirius would be the one to give in to Voldemort. He was always so brave. I always thought that if any of us would give out secret information, it would be Peter. He never had any guts. He would be persuaded easily. I can't just move on, you know?"

Tonks was silent for a second, and then she spoke. "I understand. I mean, a lot of people say they understand when they really don't, but I do. Sirius was my cousin, you know. He came and visited us only once a year because his parents hated us so much. But I loved when he would come and visit. He was my favorite cousin, and I was devastated when he was taken to Azkaban. I think he's innocent, actually. Sirius wouldn't hurt a fly."

"That's what I thought too…" Remus muttered.

They had reached Mad-Eye's house again, and Remus just wanted to go inside and go to sleep. This was the worst night in the whole year to go out and have fun. He glanced at Tonks, and she seemed to understand that he wanted to be alone. She waved goodbye, and slowly, her form started to disappear into the night. He was alone once again.


	23. Chapter 23

**Hey guys! I know it's been like a week since I posted, but I couldn't think of anything to do for the next chapter. And then I thought of one of my old ideas, and then this came to me. This chapter isn't much, but it's sort of a transition for the next chapter. Still, I hope you enjoy. And thanks so much for sticking with me even if I don't post as frequently as I say I will. (: I'm hoping that the chapters will come easier to write now. Read and leave a review. Thanks. (:**

Remus had a dream one night. It wasn't anything extraordinary, mostly because he couldn't remember a lot of details about it, but what he could remember made a chill run up his spine. He saw a huge werewolf, which must have been him, because he had never seen himself as a werewolf before. But there it was, slowly transforming in the darkness of the night, becoming a hideous creature with long fangs and thick, matted brown fur.

And there was Tonks. She was standing there beside a tree, cowering as she stared at the revolting beast. Her forehead was covered in sweat, and her purple hair was sticking to whatever part of her face that it could. Tears were streaming from her eyes, and she was muttering under her breath about something. It sounded almost like an apology. Her blue eyes were filled with fear.

And then the monster leaped forward, and she was on the ground underneath the tree, clutching her stomach as blood started to drip from the new scratch marks on her body. She was grabbing at the ground, trying to pull herself up, but she was too weak. There was too much blood. She then reached for her wand, but it wasn't there. She was always so careless with that thing.

Before the monster could strike again, Remus opened his eyes and sprung up in his bed. The sun was shining outside, and he guessed that it was about nine in the morning. Mad-Eye would have already left for Auror training. He slowly got up from the bed, his legs shaking badly as he walked into the kitchen to look for something to eat.

What had that dream meant? Did Tonks know about him and had lied to him this whole time? It made sense. Wait…Mad-Eye said that someone was outside his house the first night that Remus had transformed. It couldn't be…yes, it could. Tonks had snuck over, and there was no denying it now. He knew that it had to be her.

And now, she was in danger. Of him. So how was he supposed to protect her if it was him that was the threat?

…..

Mad-Eye invited his four students over for lunch that day, and he had failed to tell Remus that he was doing so. By the time that Remus heard the doorknob turn and loud chattering come from outside, he knew that he was in trouble. He didn't have any time to get out of the house, unless he climbed out the back window. No, the door was being opened. They had already seen him.

"G'afternoon, Remus," Mad-Eye replied, much cheerier than he had been in a while. "Nice for you to be up. You can have lunch with us."

Tonks walked in with Alfred clinging to her arm like he owned her, followed by Kadir and Heinrich, who were staring around like they had walked into the most extravagant house in the world. Tonks glanced at Remus, but he immediately looked away when her eyes met his. She knew then that something was wrong. There was always something wrong.

"This is cool!" Kadir exclaimed, examining a mirror in the living room that was supposed to show an intruder that was around on the premises. "I want one of these."

"Give me a hundred Galleons and you can have it," Mad-Eye growled, and Kadir frowned. They both headed into the dining room, where Remus was seated drinking coffee and reading the newspaper.

"It's only a couple of weeks until Christmas, and since I'm taking them on a uh…little field trip over the holidays, I decided we might as well have a Christmas meal before we leave. So here's some turkey and cranberry sauce and dressing and other such things." Mad-Eye pulled some food out of the refrigerator, and Remus had no doubt that all of the food was cooked by Molly. Mad-Eye couldn't cook to save his life.

"Where are all of you going?" Remus asked as he watched all of them start in on their food.

"We're going to Germany," Heinrich replied, smiling widely. "I can't wait. I haven't been back since I was about seven. I hope I get to visit some family-"

"We don't have time to visit anybody," Mad-Eye said, observing Heinrich with his magical eye. "We're on official Ministry business. Care to tag along, Remus?"

Every single one of the teenagers' eyes fell upon him. Tonks looked hopeful as she smiled at him, but he just looked away from her. Alfred looked angry and upset, his face contorted as if he was trying to make Remus say no with his mind. Heinrich and Kadir both looked indifferent, although they seemed a little eager to have an extra person on the trip.

"I suppose I could…" Remus replied, glancing at Alfred. Alfred instantly grabbed Tonks's hand in his, furrowing his eyebrows and smirking. "We'll only be there for a week or so, right?"

"Yeah, six days," Mad-Eye replied, offering some more dressing to Kadir. "Not a big deal. There have just been some reports that some Dark magic has been detected in a part of Berlin, and we need to check it out to make sure that no former Death Eaters are hanging around there."

Remus nodded. It had been a long time since he had been out on official Ministry business. The trip could end up being rather exciting. Except that he had to go with Tonks…he had to talk to her about all of this. He had to know what exactly she knew about him. Maybe if they got the whole thing cleared up, things would be better. He wouldn't be as stressed out, and he wouldn't have to worry about her being around when he was transforming. Yes, maybe it was better that she knew everything.

As soon as everyone had finished eating, Mad-Eye gathered them all in the living room to show them some of his tools and machines that he owned to detect Dark wizards. Kadir was completely fascinated, and he was asking all kinds of questions about every single contraption. Alfred sat on the couch checking his reflection in the mirror that identified intruders, while Tonks sat next to him and rolled her eyes at his every move. She was obviously annoyed with him.

"Tonks?" Remus asked as he approached the couch from the dining room. "Can I talk to you for a second?" He glanced at Mad-Eye, who had stopped talking to see what was going on, and Mad-Eye only nodded his approval.

As Tonks got up from the couch, Alfred did as well, trying to follow them outside to the yard. Tonks stopped and turned on him, her blue eyes shining with anger. "I'll be back in a second, okay?" she snarled. Remus had never seen her look so mad.

Alfred shook his head. "No, Nymphadora, whatever he has to say to you, he can say to me too."

"Alfred, you little shit!" Mad-Eye yelled, and Alfred jumped at the sound of his voice. "Sit down and shut your mouth. I don't know how you ever qualified for Auror training…"

"Right away, sir!" Alfred exclaimed, straightening up a little as he sat back down on the couch. Mad-Eye was most definitely going to fail him.

Tonks turned away from the group in the living room, not even glancing back at Alfred as she walked out the door with Remus. He led her into the yard and close to the road, just to make sure that no one was going to hear their conversation. He was already feeling sick enough just talking to Tonks about it.

"Did you sneak over here a couple of months ago?" he asked as soon as they reached the side of the dirt road.

Tonks looked astonished, and she placed a hand over her heart and gasped. "Of course not!" she said way too dramatically to be telling the truth. "Why would I do that?"

Remus rolled his eyes. She was so childish. "You could never make it as an actress."

"Now that's just insulting," Tonks said. "Don't bring up my acting skills! That has nothing to do with this conversation!"

"You just lied to me. And don't say you didn't, because I can tell when you're lying. You can't lie." Remus's face softened as Tonks frowned and looked down at the ground. "Did you see me?"

Tonks rocked back and forth on the heels of her feet, still looking at the ground. She was silent for a long time, but finally, she nodded. "You're a werewolf."

Remus sighed. Hearing those words come out of her mouth made him feel sick and dizzy. He glanced at the house to see that Mad-Eye was still talking to the three boys about some silver apparatus that Remus didn't even recognize. "Maybe so-"

"Don't pretend like you aren't anymore, okay?" Tonks looked up at him again and moved closer to him. She was short and had to look up at him so that she could meet his eyes. She looked like she was about to cry. "I know that you are. I saw you."

The corner of Remus's mouth twitched, just as it often did when he couldn't think of something to say. Especially when it was in stressful situations like this. "Well…now you know," he said, suddenly taking interest in a loose string on his jacket. "I don't have to pretend anymore. Are you scared of me?"

Tonks thought back to the night that she had seen him in the barn. He had smelled her, and he had tried to attack. She could still see him through the window, his eyes darting in her direction as he sniffed and snarled, trying to break down the door to get to her. It was pretty terrifying, and for a moment, she thought that she might lose her life. But she wasn't about to tell him that.

"Not at all," she said, her lie much more convincing than the previous one. She looked him dead in the eye and crossed her arms, holding her ground. "What is there to be scared about?"

"I could hurt you," Remus said. "If I ever…if you ever ended up getting hurt, I would never forgive myself."

"I think we're both responsible adults. We can take care of ourselves." She raised an eyebrow, wondering if he was going to say anything, but when he didn't, she went on. "As long as I'm not around when you're…a werewolf…then it shouldn't matter. Besides, they made that new Wolfsbane potion. That's supposed to help, right?"

Remus shrugged. "I tried it last month, and it only helps you keep a half-human mind. I can just lie down and sleep or something. But it doesn't stop the transformation."

Tonks sighed and looked up at the sky. The clouds were swirling around, and the sky was turning a sickening color of gray. "Maybe we should get inside. It looks like it's about to rain." As she turned to leave, Remus grabbed her arm and pulled her back.

"This is very serious, you know," he said. "I mean, this isn't a joke. You can't take it as lightly as you take everything else. You've got to understand that you could be in serious danger if you're around when I transform. Just make sure that you avoid me on nights where the moon is full."

Tonks shrugged and rolled her eyes. "Okay, whatever. I'm not stupid. Can we please go inside now?"

Remus stared at her, wondering why she wasn't being serious even after he told her to. After a second, he let go of her, and they went back inside.

The room looked exactly the same as when they left it. Remus slouched into a chair next to Mad-Eye, and Tonks returned to her seat next to Alfred. Alfred threw his arm around Tonks's shoulders, and he smirked at Remus. Remus rolled his eyes.


	24. Chapter 24

**So, I'm sorry if this chapter sounds really rushed. I didn't mean for it to, but I'm afraid that it might sound like I was just trying to get it over with. I wasn't though, because I've had this planned for a while, and I was really excited about it. And I'm even more excited about what comes afterward. Are _you _excited yet? Eh, maybe not. But still, feel free to leave a review. (:**

Germany was just as beautiful as everyone had always said it was. Remus could now understand why Heinrich was so proud of coming from this country. As soon as they got there, Heinrich tried to sneak off to a small neighborhood in Berlin, but that was a mistake with Mad-Eye. He deducted points from whatever "test" they were having on this trip.

Tonks was just excited to be away from home. Her parents were, as she said, "getting on her nerves," and Alfred wasn't making it any better. He kept complaining about how he could be at home attending his mother's Christmas ball, but instead he was stuck in the countryside of Germany with a bunch of "amateurs." Kadir was just so fascinated by the sights and sounds of the country that he didn't speak.

Mad-Eye set up camp in the woods outside of the big city. There were three tents- one for Mad-Eye and Remus, one for the three boys, and one for Tonks. Tonks immediately rushed into hers and began unpacking, throwing things all over the tent as she searched in her bag for her wand. She couldn't find it.

"Tonks!" Mad-Eye yelled, when he got tired of the noise and commotion that she was causing. "Do you want to be an Auror? Because if you do, you're going to have to act more responsible than this."

Tonks emerged from the tent and sighed, blowing a strand of her mousy brown hair out of her face. "I'm sorry. I could have sworn that I had it-" She stopped for a second, and then a look of realization flashed across her face. She then reached into her boot and pulled out her wand. She grinned widely, and Remus rolled her eyes at her. She grimaced at him, but then a smile spread across both of their faces as they went their separate ways.

This did not go unnoticed by Alfred. In fact, Alfred had noticed a lot of things that had been occurring behind his back lately. He wasn't as stupid as everyone made him out to be. He was just rather…different. He saw how Tonks looked at Remus when he talked, like he was the only person in the world, and whenever he left the room, her eyes dulled by many degrees. He knew that she had feelings for him, but he wasn't going to bring it up to anyone, because he knew that he was going to win in the end. Remus was much too old for Tonks, and there was no way her parents would allow it. Besides, he had already won the trust of her parents. Remus hadn't.

"Alfred, can I ask you do the simplest thing in the world for me?" Mad-Eye said sarcastically. "Will you please go out in the forest and get some wood for the fire?"

Alfred grimaced. Go out in the forest by himself? Why would he do that? There could be bugs…and mud…and he would be all dirty by the time he got back. And who knows when he could take a bath. But Mad-Eye thought that he was a good-for-nothing little prat, as did everyone else that was on this trip. He had to prove them wrong.

"Of course, sir," he replied, and he didn't hesitate. As soon as he had laid down his designer bags in the tent, he headed off.

…..

The first day passed smoothly. Everyone was getting along just fine. Mad-Eye even lightened up on Alfred, and for some strange reason, so did Heinrich. Alfred, however, was not paying attention to this. He was plotting. He was always used to winning, and he was going to win yet again. He was going to make Remus look incredibly bad.

"So there I was, right there in front of that crazy asshole Rodolphus Lestrange, and he just…he just…took my wand," Mad-Eye replied, teary-eyed on the second day. He had been drinking, and he had possibly had one too many drinks. "I don't even know what happened. He just took it…"

Remus glanced across the circle that was formed around the bonfire, and he watched as Alfred eyed him and put his arm around Tonks's shoulder. He was really not very fond of Alfred, but the boy was just really starting to get on his nerves. He was much too immature for his age of nineteen, especially since he was trying to make Remus jealous. Since when did Remus care anything about what Alfred did? Never.

By the third day, Mad-Eye took them into the forest to search for a house that some Dark wizards supposedly lived in. They all walked as a group, their wands held in front of them in case anything decided to attack them. However, after their two-hour trek into the forest, they decided that it must have been a false report. Nothing Dark seemed to be anywhere in the premises.

When they arrived back at camp, Remus went in his tent and attempted to start reading a book, but he was torn from his actions when he heard Tonks yelling about something from outside. He peeked out and saw that Alfred was looking like a frightened doe under her glare, a glare that hardly ever came out. What could Alfred have possibly done to make her that mad?

"Do not," she began through gritted teeth, pointing an accusing finger at him, "touch my ass." With that, she turned on her heel and headed into her tent.

Alfred stared in bewilderment after her, and then when he saw that Remus was watching, he replaced his expression with a smirk. "I've gotten farther than you have, old man," he said.

"Doubt it," Remus replied, just to piss him off, and then he disappeared into his tent again.

….

Mad-Eye had to remind Remus the next day as soon as they woke up that tonight was indeed the full moon. They had both forgotten about it when planning for the trip, and Remus had been so busy worrying about getting prepared for the voyage that he hadn't even remembered to take his potion for the week. He didn't have any with him, not that one dose of it would help anyway.

They were pretty much screwed.

"It's okay," Remus said. "I can just pack up and go home. It's not a big deal. It'll only take me a few minutes."

"No, don't leave me with these hellions!" Mad-Eye exclaimed, a wild look in his one eye. "I can't put up with them! They'll drive me insane! You have to stay, Remus. Can you just…can you go somewhere else just for tonight?"

Remus sighed. He really thought that the best idea was for him to go home, but he didn't want Mad-Eye to be left alone with four young adults. And he didn't want to be at Mad-Eye's house by himself anyway. "Fine, I'll stay. But I have to go somewhere safe, and you have to keep them from going off and searching for me."

Mad-Eye shrugged. "I don't care. Just don't leave me alone with them." He shuddered. Mad-Eye had faced Dark wizards of all shapes and sizes, but four of his Aurors-in-training were what scared him the most. It was amusing.

….

Mad-Eye took them to a different forest that day. He split them off in groups of three, and they went out searching for more Dark wizards that supposedly lived in the area. Mad-Eye took Heinrich and Alfred (Alfred wasn't very happy about that), and Remus took Kadir and Tonks.

Tonks skipped ahead of the group, whistling happily and occasionally tripping along the way. Remus and Kadir stood back and watched, both wondering just where all of her energy came from. She was just so happy all the time, like nothing in the world could ever be wrong. Most of the time, she wore a smile, just as long as Alfred wasn't around. And right now, he wasn't. She looked happier than she had been through the whole trip.

"Tonks, I think you forgot that we're supposed to be looking for something," Remus pointed out when they had been walking for about an hour.

Tonks stopped abruptly and turned on her heel, which caused her to fall to the ground in a big pile of mud. "Damn it!" she yelled, as Kadir and Remus both rushed to help her up. "Stop laughing at me! It's not even funny. I'm so clumsy, and-"

"Shh!" Kadir said, holding a finger to his lips, and they all fell silent.

They listened for a few seconds, and then they heard movement from behind them. They all turned around and saw a bush rustling, but the movement could not have been from the wind blowing. No, it was much too strong of a movement. Someone was there…

"Who's there?" Kadir called out, and for once, Remus thought that Kadir was the biggest idiot in the world. When your life was at risk, you weren't supposed to just welcome your possible murderer with a smile.

But nothing extraordinary or dangerous happened. The bushes parted, and Alfred came walking out, cursing about how he had gotten bit by a mosquito. They all lowered their wands and rolled their eyes almost simultaneously.

"Aren't you supposed to be with Mad-Eye?" Tonks asked, her voice as cold as ice.

Alfred walked over to her and threw his around her shoulders, pulling her closer to him. "I was supposed to be, but they were boring me. I thought I might as well come and find you all. Anything interesting happening?"

Kadir sighed and glanced at Remus and Tonks, who both looked just about as annoyed as he felt. "Why don't I walk back to Mad-Eye with you?"

Alfred's wide smirk turned into a frown. "No, I don't think so. I'll stay here with you."

Kadir had obviously gotten to his last nerve with Alfred. He pulled out his wand again and pressed it against Alfred's side. "Walk now. I'll make sure you make it back safely." When Alfred didn't move, Kadir pressed his wand harder against Alfred's side. Alfred let out a little yelp and started walking forward to the bushes that he emerged from.

"I won't be long," Kadir called over his shoulder to Tonks and Remus. "Just wait here for me, okay?"

They both agreed, and Alfred threw a glare over his shoulder at Remus. But then Kadir shoved him, so he turned away, and Remus and Tonks were left completely alone.

At first, they had small, casual conversations about the weather and other boring subjects that nobody cared about, but as minutes dragged into hours, they sat down on the forest floor and began discussing their years at Hogwarts.

"So I used to bring shampoo to Snape every day when I went to his class, because his hair is just the nastiest hair in the world," Tonks said. "He would always give me the dirtiest looks and tell me that I wasn't half as amusing as I thought I was. And then he would give me detention."

Remus nodded, and a wide smile spread across his face. "That's because when we went to school together, James and Sirius would always do the exact same thing. And old Severus would just frown and run off to tell a teacher that we were being mean to him. And then we would all get detention for it."

The more they talked, the more they found that they were a lot alike. Remus had wanted to be an Auror before the Ministry refused him because of his condition. That never stopped him, though. He still continued to learn after school, and now he was more experienced than half of the Aurors working for the Ministry. The more they talked, the more Tonks began to admire him.

They lost track of time, and before they knew it, the sun was setting overhead. They had forgotten that they were on a mission, and they had forgotten that Kadir had left with Alfred many hours ago. Remus finally realized when the sun was almost gone.

"Tonks, you need to get back to camp," he said, looking up at the sky urgently. The moon was sliding into view now. "Just leave me here, okay? I'll be fine."

Tonks looked at him like he was crazy. He had gotten up from the ground and was now rushing around the path that they were sitting on as if he was looking for something. "Why? I can't go back to camp without you. And what about Kadir?" She stopped when she saw him looking up at the sky. "Full moon."

"Yes," Remus replied hurriedly, not looking her in the eye. He still wasn't sure if he should have told her anything about his condition. But there was no taking it back now. "And unless you want to get mauled, I'd suggest that you get out of here."

"Alright," Tonks said casually, taking a couple of steps back from him. She wasn't afraid of him, but she wasn't so sure how she would feel if she saw him turn into a werewolf. "But what do you want me to tell everyone else?"

"Don't worry about it," Remus told her. He was only trying to get rid of her. She only had a few minutes to get a head start before he transformed. "Mad-Eye's got it all covered. I really think you should get out of here."

"Okay," Tonks responded, rolling her eyes. She had never seen him act this jumpy. "But can I ask you a question really fast?"

"No."

"Really fast."

"Fine. Make it five seconds or less."

Tonks smiled. She always won. "Okay, do you think if I changed my hair to purple, it would make Alfred mad?"

Remus stopped rushing around for a second as he stared at her. "That is really not an appropriate question for this situation." He looked up at the sky again. The clouds were starting to roll away, and the moon was starting to be visible. "Go, Tonks, you have to go."

"Okay, okay," Tonks replied as her hair changed to a bright purple. "I'm leaving right now." But it was too late. As she turned on her heel to leave, she caught a glimpse of Remus from behind her.

Her stomach clenched. There was no way that she could get away in time. Even if she ran, he would be able to find her. And he wouldn't be able to control himself. She slowly turned toward him, and she gasped when she caught sight of him. He was no longer a human. He was transforming into a large, furry beast with beady black eyes and long, sharp fangs. Her eyes fell on his long legs, all four of them equipped with razor-sharp claws, all the better to kill her with. Her breath caught in her throat, and she began to shake. What was she supposed to do? She couldn't hurt him.

Without thinking, she took a step back into the shadows of a tree. Maybe he had really bad eyesight. Maybe she could make it out of here alive. But she was so wrong. His hideous face turned to peer at her, and she knew that she was in serious danger now. He growled and started to sniff in her direction. He could smell her.

"I'm so sorry, Remus," she murmured as quietly as possible. She hadn't taken him as seriously as she should have. If she would have just listened to him, she would be safe in her tent right now, not wondering if she was going to make it home alive.

Beads of sweat began to form, and as they dripped down her face, she felt her whole body quiver under his gaze. Why hadn't he attacked yet? There must be some human instincts still there…

She had spoken too soon. The next second of her life happened so fast that she couldn't even remember what exactly had happened. The werewolf lunged at her, and she was suddenly on the ground clutching her stomach, which now had fresh cuts on it, and her head, which had hit a large rock as she fell down. As she raised her hand up to look at it, she saw tons of blood dripping from her fingers and onto the ground beside her. Everything in front of her was spinning, and she knew that she was about to lose consciousness.

No, she had to fight it. With her other hand, she reached into her boot and searched for her wand, but it wasn't there. Why was she so careless? As she looked around the forest floor, she spotted it only a few yards away. She couldn't crawl over and get it. It was too risky.

With every last ounce of her strength, she grabbed the large rock that she had hit only seconds ago to help her steady herself. He wasn't attacking again. He had to be in there somewhere. He had to know that it was her. Why else would he not be attacking her?

She carefully wiped some of her blood on the rock, hoping that that would be enough to distract him. If he smelled it there, he wouldn't follow her as she ran. She was starting to feel dizzy again, but she fought it back and dashed off into the darkness, completely unaware of where she was going. She couldn't see anything because it was starting to blur, and all she could think of was the amount of blood that she was losing. She had to get to safety soon.

After what felt like hours of staggering around and attempting to run, she finally made it back to the camp. No one was outside, so she could make a safe run into her tent without any questions asked. She would clean up her wounds by herself. No one had to know anything.

As soon as she had climbed into her tent and started digging through her things to find ointment and bandages, she felt a sickening feeling in her stomach. She felt like she was going to throw up, and her whole body was in pain. Before she could find anything in her unorganized bag, she fell back onto her sleeping bag clutching at her bleeding stomach, and everything fell into darkness.


	25. Chapter 25

**Okay, so I really hope this doesn't disappoint anyone...it's been a while since I've posted, and this isn't the best chapter that I've written. But oh well. It'll get better soon. This is just one of those chapters that's supposed to solve a problem. **

**Dancethroughlife- No, she has not turned into a werewolf. I think that that would be a completely pointless idea for their relationship. I just kind of felt like something might have happened that made their relationship, I dunno...a little more troubled. So you don't have to kill me in my sleep now. (:**

**Um...I'm gonna say there's only gonna be about four or five more chapters to this. Don't be upset or anything, because guess what? There's gonna be a sequel. Know what it's called? Animal I Have Become. Yep. It'll be up in the next month or so, hopefully. But that's of no concern right now, because we have to finish this one first, right? Hehe. Well, leave a review, whether you like or not. (:**

When Tonks awoke the next morning to the bright sun shining in her eyes, she found that the pain in her side that she had felt all night had become less intense. She couldn't even remember what had happened. She had had a dream that Remus had transformed into a gigantic werewolf, and he had attacked her. She then ran back to camp and collapsed in her tent…oh. That wasn't a dream. It was reality.

"Feeling better, Tonks?" Kadir asked, his smile coming into focus as she blinked her eyes and climbed out of bed. What was he doing in her tent?

"Oh, Nymphadora!" Alfred exclaimed, throwing his arms around her and hugging her tightly. "I thought we had lost you! I'm so glad you're alive!" His voice sounded so high that she wondered if he was just trying to be nice. He was probably hoping she would die.

"Get off," she mumbled, shoving him off of her as she tried to stand up. The pain in her stomach intensified, and she laid back down again, wincing as the pain shot up her whole body.

"What happened out there?" Mad-Eye asked as he walked into the tent. He was frowning deeply, and although he cared about her as if she was his own daughter, he couldn't have been more upset that she didn't even defend herself. "You had your wand! What happened?"

Tonks sighed and tried to rise again. It didn't work, and she knew that she would be spending the day lying in her tent while everyone else was having an adventure. "I just…" What was she supposed to tell them? She couldn't let them know that Remus had attacked her. They would know his secret, and Alfred would try to kill him. "Mad-Eye, can I talk to you for a second?"

The tent fell silent, and the three boys exchanged glances while waiting for Mad-Eye's response. Mad-Eye frowned even more, if possible, and then rounded on them. "Well, you heard her! Get out of here!" They all scurried out without a second glance.

When he was sure that they were gone and he cast a _Muffliato_ charm around the tent to prevent eavesdropping, he turned back to Tonks. "Now, what happened with Remus? Did you try to defend yourself against him, or did you let him hurt you because you were afraid of hurting him?"

Tonks was shocked. Mad-Eye had to be the smartest person that she had ever met. How did he know that it was Remus who had attacked her? "I tried to find my wand, but I-"

Mad-Eye groaned. "Damn it, Tonks! Why don't you ever keep your wand with you?" He sighed and covered his face with his hand for only a moment, and then he looked back at her. "He left this morning. He felt so terrible about what had happened. He…I've never seen him that messed up. He said he wasn't staying with me anymore. He's going to go stay with Kingsley Shacklebolt, I believe."

Tonks's eyes widened. He left? He wasn't going to be around Mad-Eye's anymore? It was almost like someone had slapped her in the face. Everything was coming too fast for her brain to process. "I didn't mean for him…I mean, it wasn't a big deal. I'll heal. And he told me to leave, and I just didn't listen. It's my fault. He shouldn't be-"

Mad-Eye held up a hand to stop her, and she did as she was told. "Tonks, I understand that. Remus is much more cautious than that, and I knew it was your fault in some way. See, that's why you should always respect your elders and do as you are told. Just take this as a lesson. Give Remus a little while to cool off, and then you can go see him, okay?"

"Not everything's my fault," she murmured, looking away from him. She felt like all of the blame should be on her for this situation, but for others…she wasn't always ignorant and troublesome.

"I know," Mad-Eye replied, patting her on the head. "Just get some rest, okay? We'll be back for lunch in a couple of hours, and you can eat with us. We'll go home this afternoon."

Tonks nodded and watched as Mad-Eye clambered up from his seat on the tent floor. When she was sure that he was gone, she rolled over and faced the tent wall, closing her eyes and trying to fall back asleep. But under the circumstances, she couldn't even keep her eyes closed for very long. She flipped back over on her back and let the pain in her stomach subside before she took a deep breath in.

It was her fault that Remus had left. It was her fault that she had gotten herself injured and was now lain up in bed for the day. It was her fault that her friendship with him was more than likely now over. And she felt even crappier than she did last night.

…..

When they returned home that afternoon, Tonks tried to act as if nothing was wrong with her. She knew that her mother would make a fuss over it, demanding to know what happened to her daughter, and Tonks really didn't want that. But two weeks ago, Remus told her that she wasn't a very good actress, and he was right. Her mother immediately saw through the act and started asking questions, crying as she examined the bounded wounds on Tonks's skin.

"What happened?" she asked, staring first at Tonks and then at Mad-Eye. Neither one seemed to be speaking about it. She threw her hands up in the air and let out another sob. "Why couldn't you choose a safer career, Dora? You could have been a teacher…or maybe you could have chosen a different branch at the Ministry. Like Law Enforcement."

"Mum, that's boring," Tonks protested, but even as she spoke, she started to feel a little weaker. She had had to walk to the house from where they had Disapparated, and that was the most motion that she had made all day. It made her feel sick. "Can I go lie down now?"

Andromeda nodded and sobbed weakly. "I'll be in there to check on you in a bit, sweetie."

As Tonks walked into her room and shut the door behind her, she could hear her mom start shouting at Mad-Eye for not taking care of her daughter. Tonks rolled her eyes. Her mom had a right to be worried, but she shouldn't be throwing a fit about it. It was only a few cuts, and they were going to heal right up in the next few days. She'd be back to normal in no time. What was the fuss about?

…

After a week had passed and Tonks regained her usual healthy vigor, she asked Mad-Eye to take her to Kingsley's house so she could talk to Remus. She was a little nervous as to what to say to him, but she knew that something had to be said. Otherwise, he would feel even more awful than he already did. And she wouldn't feel much better either.

Mad-Eye raised his heavy hand and knocked three times before someone finally came to the door. Kingsley, with his deep, soothing voice, said, "Mad-Eye Moody. Nice to see you after so long. Who's this you have with you?" He gestured to Tonks.

"This is Nymphadora Tonks." Tonks flinched at her name, but she didn't protest. She already felt like she was going to be sick. "She was the one that er…got attacked."

Kingsley frowned, and his eyes fell into a look of understanding. He had obviously been told about the situation. "Oh. Well, Remus told me that he didn't want to see her. He's been in bed all week. I tried to get him to eat. He won't do much. It's been really depressing, and I'm trying to understand how he feels."

"Tonks feels just as bad," Mad-Eye replied. "She didn't leave when he told her to leave, and she didn't have her wand ready like she should have. She just wanted to apologize and tell him that she's feeling as well as ever."

Kingsley glanced behind him to make sure that Remus wasn't listening, and even though no one was there, he dropped his voice to a whisper. "Do you have any scars?" he asked Tonks.

Tonks nodded and raised her shirt just a little to show five long, white lines stretching from her stomach and on down her leg. "Not a problem, though," she told him. "It hurt for a while, but I'm fine now. It's not a big deal."

Kingsley nodded as he examined the battle wounds, and after a long silence, he shook his head. "I'm sorry, Mad-Eye. Remus told me that he didn't wish to have any contact with her. He said that he had been a threat to her ever since he met her, and he was a threat to everyone else as well. He was about to pack up and leave me, but I made him stay. He needs a roof over his head, and I know to be a little more cautious than she does."

Mad-Eye glanced at Tonks, and she nodded. She didn't expect him to want to see her. She had told Mad-Eye that Remus would need a little longer to calm down, but he had insisted that they come as soon as she was better to show Remus that she wasn't hurt. This whole thing had been a bad idea.

"Well, I guess I'll just take her home then," Mad-Eye said, grabbing Tonks's shoulder and turning her away from the door. "Thanks, Kingsley."

"I'll tell him you stopped by," Kingsley said as he waved at them and closed the door.

Tonks felt tears well up in her eyes, and she flicked them away before Mad-Eye noticed anything. She felt stupid and immature. Why couldn't she ever listen to anything anyone told her? This wouldn't have happened if she would have just left, just like she was supposed to do. She knew that she was in danger, so why didn't she just leave? Why didn't she fight back? She had just laid there and let him hurt her.

"We'll try again in another week," Mad-Eye assured her.

But that visit was just about as pointless as they first. Remus was still refusing to have any contact with anyone other than Kingsley. They returned the week after that and the week after that, but to no avail.

It wasn't until two months later, in March, when Tonks was finally able to see Remus again.


	26. Chapter 26

**This chapter is kind of short. I apologize for that. But the next chapter is going to be very fun and exciting. I'm predicting maybe three chapters after this one, and then on to the sequel. **

**Randomponygirl- I might use that idea, thanks. But it might be later on, possibly in the sequel. Thanks for the idea! (:**

**Leave a review, everyone. They make me update much, much faster than usual. (:**

Tonks was roaming down the hallway at the Ministry, reading off the names of the people that were hung up on the offices as she passed them. She was sent to run an errand to the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, and she was having no luck finding the place that she was looking for. She had only seen the first couple of floors of the Ministry before, and now she was on one of the topmost floors, and she was lost. Gripping the paper tightly in her hand, she remembered Mad-Eye's warning: "I'm sending this with you because I trust you, Tonks. You better get this to Ariadna Mackin in one piece." She was determined to follow his instructions.

As she trotted down the hallway, the only sound that she could hear was the click-clack of her black boots hitting the smooth tile floor. And then she caught on to a new sound. There were people talking at the end of the hallway. She looked up from the paper entrusted to her and spotted Remus and Arthur Weasley talking, their backs turned to her. She felt sick at the sight of them, but she knew what she had to do. She had to bring up some courage, stomp over to Remus, and demand that he stop avoiding her.

She took a deep breath and let it out, and then she called out, "Remus!" She didn't mean for it to be so loud, and she quickly covered her mouth. There were trials going on in the rooms close by, and she didn't want to interrupt them.

Arthur turned to look at her, and then he smiled and waved. Remus, however, stood stock still and then started walking in the opposite direction, clearly ignoring her. Arthur looked between the both of them, and then started to back away into one of the open offices close by. He obviously knew everything that had happened.

"Remus, you can't avoid me forever!" Tonks exclaimed, picking up her pace as she darted down the hallway to where he was. "You have to talk to me sometime."

"I don't have to talk to you if I don't want to," he said, not looking at her. His face was buried in a book that he was carrying, and he started to walk faster.

Tonks frowned. This was going nowhere. She thought for sure that she could get him to talk now, but it didn't seem like anything was going to happen. She was just as lost as she was two months ago. "Um…yes you do. Because I'm here, and I'm not going to leave you alone until you talk to me. So you might as well stop walking and look at me."

Remus stopped mid-step and then turned to look at her. He had a fresh new scar on his face, and Tonks assumed that it was from the attack in Germany. He looked down at the piece of paper that Tonks was holding in her hand, and he sighed. "Ariadna Mackin is on the other side of the floor. You should go look for her there."

"Thanks," Tonks replied bitterly, her dark blue eyes shining with anger. "But that's not what I care about right now. You've been avoiding me, and it's all because you're too childish to take responsibility for your actions."

The corner of Remus's mouth twitched, and she knew that she had made him angry. Here comes another fight… "I'm not too childish to take responsibility for my actions. I am taking responsibility by avoiding you. I don't think you understand. I hurt you-"

Tonks raised up her shirt a little to show him the pale white scars, now completely healed but permanently marked on her skin. "See, they healed. I'm fine. Besides, I think they look kind of cool. Every great Auror has to have some kind of battle scar, right?"

Remus sighed and ran his hand through his hair, and he turned away from her. "I have to go." He started to walk away again, but she only followed him.

"Why can't you just pretend it never happened?" she asked. "I'm fine, you're fine. I forgive you. No harm done. Why can't we leave it at that?"

"Do you honestly think that's all it's about?" he said, turning on her again. His face was turning red. He was really starting to get irritated with her. "You think that you can just say 'I forgive you' and everything will be just fine again?" He didn't give her time to answer. "Nothing is going to be fine anymore, Tonks. You don't understand. I hurt you, and I have to take responsibility for that. If it happened once, it could happen again. And I don't want it to happen again."

"It was my fault!" She had raised her voice, and she very rarely did that. But he was starting to irritate her as well. She had waited for three months to be able to talk to him again, and now he was going to fight with her. "You told me to leave, and I didn't! I take full blame for everything that happened. And next time, I'll know better. I won't be around you on the night of a full moon. Okay? Is that good enough?"

"I'm not taking a risk," Remus murmured, not looking her in the eyes. He had lowered his voice, because a short, stocky witch was walking down the hallway and giving them strange looks. "I'm not going to hurt you anymore, because I care too much about you."

"Well, I don't-" She stopped, taking in what Remus had said to her. He cared about her? She grinned knowingly. "You care about me, huh?"

Remus frowned. The words had slipped out before he had even thought about what he was saying. And now he couldn't take it back. "Not like that…I mean, I think that-"

Tonks shook her head. "No, you said that you cared about me. Well, I care about you too. That's why I promise that I'll be more careful around you. And you'll be sure to take your potion next time, right?"

"It's not that simple-"

"Yes, it is." Tonks sighed and took a step closer to him, placing a hand on his arm gently. "It was an accident. And I think that you should see it that way. It won't happen ever again, right?"

"It won't happen ever again because we aren't going to be around each other-"

"Yes, we will. We're going to be friends again, even if you are a werewolf. I'm a Metamorphmagus. Does that mean we can't be friends?"

Remus rolled his eyes. She was being complicated. "You aren't dangerous. I am. You need to realize that I could very seriously hurt you or anyone else that I'm around-"

Tonks let out an exasperated breath and shoved him a little. "So let me get this straight. You can be friends with anyone else, but not me?"

Remus frowned. "Well, no-"

"Then why is it that you have to avoid me? I mean, I don't understand that. Is this just your way of getting rid of me because you don't like me?"

"I think we've established that-"

"Well, maybe I don't want to be your friend then. I can live the rest of my life without you." Tonks huffed and turned on her heel, leaving him in the hallway by himself as she went in search of Ariadna Mackin's office. She still hadn't delivered that letter, and she had been gone for almost an hour.

But as she was about to turn into a different hallway, Remus grabbed her arm and pulled her back. "We can be friends. I want to be friends with you," he said. "But now that you know how dangerous I am, will you please me a little more careful? I don't ever want to hurt you again. I'll never be able to completely forgive myself for this."

Tonks pursed her lips and cocked her head to the side as if in deep thought, but then she nodded. "Sure, we can be friends again. As long as you stop acting like a child." She smiled.

Remus sighed and returned the smile. "I don't act like a child. I only care about you. I don't want you to get hurt."

"Did I not just say that I think it's cool? I like these scars." She paused and looked at the floor for a second, and then she looked up at him again. "Alright, well, I have to deliver these to Ariadna Mackin."

Remus took the papers out of her hand and smiled. "I'll take them to her. You get back to your Auror training. You've probably been gone for a while."

"Yeah," Tonks replied. "Well, I'll see you later then." She waved at him and walked away, feeling incredibly accomplished. She knew that she was going to make him feel bad about avoiding her.

She opened the door to the Auror training room, where Mad-Eye, Alfred, Kadir, and Heinrich looked like they were concentrating hard on something in the corner of the room.

"I'm back," she called, which startled all of them except Mad-Eye. He must have seen her coming with his magical eye.

"Tonks, damn it!" he yelled. "It doesn't take an hour to run an errand! Next time I'll know to send an owl."

Tonks didn't seem to care that she was being scolded. It happened every day of her life, sometimes when she didn't even do anything wrong. "I ran into Remus, and we talked, and we're friends again," she told him.

"Oh." Mad-Eye nodded. "Well, that's fine then. Now come on over here and look at this thing in the corner. It flew in through the window, and we have no idea what it is."

Alfred frowned as Tonks darted over to where the strange object was lying in the corner. She and Remus had become friends again? He knew that they had had a falling out for the past few months, but he didn't know why. He thought that he had finally won, that he could finally have her all to himself. But now they were friends again. He had to come up with something to do about that, and fast.


	27. Chapter 27

**Hey guys! So, I know this wasn't the fastest update, but it came faster than it usually does, right? I hope I didn't disappoint anyone. Anyway, I kind of intended for this chapter to be humorous and a lot less like my other chapters. I hope that this is just as good as the rest, or maybe even better. Leave a review, whether you like or not. Oh, you know what would be awesome? If we could get to 100 reviews before the sequel. That would be cool. Think we can do it? (: **

"Alright, brats," Mad-Eye said as he paced the room that he used for Auror training, "I have news, and you may or may not like it. Either way, I don't give a damn. So tomorrow and Saturday, Kingsley Shacklebolt and I will be gone on a business trip. Don't ask us where we're going, because it's top secret information. Now, while I'm gone, you're going to be under the supervision of Remus Lupin." He paused dramatically for reaction.

"Seriously?" Alfred asked, rolling his eyes. "Ugh, the poor man doesn't even understand the complicated business that is Auror training. Couldn't you leave us with someone a little more professional, such as…I don't know, Dawlish or something?"

Mad-Eye let out a deep, hearty laugh, and Alfred laughed along with him. And then Mad-Eye stopped abruptly and glared at him. "No. I'm leaving you with Remus. And I want you all to be nice to him, because if you're not, he's going to tell me, and then I'm going to kick your-"

There was a knock on the door, and Mad-Eye turned to answer it. Remus walked in cautiously, eyeing each student individually, and then he stopped in front of them. Mad-Eye sighed. "As I was saying, don't bother him. He's here to teach you defensive spells that your tiny brains probably won't be able to comprehend, but we'll try. Remus, is there anything you want to say to them?"

Remus could think of a million things he could say to Alfred right then, but he decided against it. "No, I don't believe so. Does anyone have anything to say to me?"

Alfred raised his hand, and Mad-Eye rolled his one eye. "What do you want, you pansy?" he asked gruffly.

"Ouch," Alfred said, placing a hand over his heart and faking being wounded. "That hurt just a little. I was just going to ask…" His brown eyes fell upon Remus, and he smirked. "How much do you know about defensive spells? Have you ever been in real combat?"

"Yes, I have," Remus replied just as snidely as Alfred. "And I know a lot about defensive spells, because unlike you, I don't sit around and complain all day."

Alfred frowned and crossed his arms, and then he got an even brighter look in his eyes. This was sure to get Remus's blood boiling… "How much do you know about werewolves?"

"Alright, that's enough," Mad-Eye said before Remus could speak. "We're not learning about that right now. Defensive spells, jackass." Mad-Eye clapped Remus on the shoulder. "Have fun with them. I know I'll be having fun wherever I'm going."

Remus frowned. "I thought you weren't leaving until tomorrow."

"Yeah, but I'm getting sick of them. You can have em." With that, he walked out the door, slamming it behind him.

Remus watched until the door swung shut, and then he turned back to the students. He exchanged a quick glance with Tonks, who looked just as bewildered as he did, and then looked away from her. How did Alfred know about him? Or was it a coincidence?

"Hey, Remus?" Heinrich called. "If Kingsley is going with Mr. Moody and you live with him, does that mean that the house will be all yours for the weekend?"

"Yes," Remus replied warily, not sure why Heinrich would be asking this.

"So we can go over there tonight? And have kind of like…a party?" Heinrich asked. He and Kadir exchanged a glance, and they both smiled in a way that resembled the devious grins of the Weasley twins.

Remus shrugged. "I suppose we could. It wouldn't be too much trouble. But only the five of us, right?"

Kadir nodded. "Sure, and maybe a couple of friends. You know, just so we can call it a party. It won't be big."

Remus was still highly concerned, but he nodded. "Sure, we can do that. But no alcohol, no drugs, and no more than two friends. Is that clear?"

"Sure," Heinrich replied. Remus didn't like the look on his face.

…

By nine that night, Remus was surrounded by more than twenty teenagers in Kingsley's small, cramped apartment. And more were pouring in. As he fought his way through the crowd looking for his Aurors-in-training, he was able to spot Tonks all the way across the room. It looked like she had alcohol in her hand, but that couldn't be. She never drank. He shoved a few teenagers out of the way until he reached her, and the glazed look in her eyes confirmed his fear. She was drunk.

"What the hell are you doing?" he asked, pulling her cup out of her hand. She smelled like she had dove into a keg. "You don't drink."

Tonks giggled and jerked the cup out of his hand. "Relax, Remus. It's not like it's illegal or anything. Besides, I need to let loose and have fun every once in a while, right? Hehe." She took a shaky step forward and fell on the floor, laughing the whole time.

Remus rolled his eyes and helped her up. "What's going on? I thought we agreed on just a couple of friends."

Tonks shrugged and hiccupped a little bit. "Heinrich and Kadir invited them all. I just showed up. Hey, have you seen Alfred?"

Remus sighed and ran a hand through his hair. This was ridiculous. He had done things like this when he was a teenager, but that didn't give them an excuse to do it. He thought that it was only going to be a few people. And now he couldn't even walk through his temporary home. He stood up on a table and told everyone to get out, but they were already so drunk that they probably didn't even hear a word he said. He had given up his attempts to get rid of them all after the second try. They weren't going to listen. Kingsley was going to Avada Kedavra him when he got back.

In one corner of the living room, a group of teenagers were surrounding two boys that were having a duel. Remus tried to interfere with this, but they were all pushing in on him, and he was unable to. A few spells went a little awry, and glasses and mirrors and plates and cups were shattered. Remus tried to quickly repair them, but he could hardly get to the pieces before they were kicked across the room or otherwise shattered some more.

He walked into the bathroom, thinking that this was going to be his one place that he could run to get some peace and quiet, but as he pulled the shower curtain back, he found a guy passed out in there with alcohol dripping out of his cup and onto his shirt. There was vomit in the floor.

Remus made his way back into the living room where the pulsating beats of the wizard music met his ears. It felt like the whole world was vibrating beneath his feet. The noise was too loud, there were too many people, and the place was a mess. What was he supposed to do?

"Hey, Remus. Great party, right?" Heinrich said, slinging his arm around Remus's shoulder and grinning widely. "Great turnout. I thought it was going to end up being lame. But you, my friend, sure know how to throw an awesome party." He scurried away, screaming in enthusiasm at some girl who was dancing on the dining room table.

Remus would usually be the one drinking, but tonight, he felt like he needed to be the responsible adult. Especially since there was now more than forty children to take care of. Oh, he would be reporting this to Mad-Eye. And he hoped that Mad-Eye punished Heinrich and Kadir severely. They weren't supposed to be the troublemakers…

"Take it off! Take it off! Take it off! Take it off!" There was a large group of people chanting in the dining room, most of them sounding like they were boys. Remus rushed in there as quickly as possible, but he shielded his eyes at the sight. There was that girl that had been dancing, only now she was topless and people were tipping her. Things were getting way too out of hand…

"Ugh, didn't they bring some sort of wine or champagne?" Alfred asked as he walked up behind Remus with a bottle of what appeared to be vodka. "This stuff is cheap and disgusting."

Remus whirled around to him. He never thought he would say it, but he was glad to see Alfred. "Alfred, you're not drunk," he said happily. "Thank goodness!" He patted Alfred on the arm, and Alfred crinkled his nose.

"Get your poor, filthy hands off of me. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go find some champagne. And maybe I'll get drunk." He threw the bottle of vodka to the floor and walked away.

Remus stared at the broken glass and the pale liquid that was now splattered on the floor. Alfred was an inconsiderate jerk without alcohol…

"Hey, everybody! I'm taking off my pants!" Kadir announced, and…oh dear. He took off his pants. And now he was swinging them around in the air as people cheered for him.

Remus had to get rid of them all, but he had no idea how. He paced the floor a little, making sure to avoid the broken glass in front of him, and then he decided to go to his room. It had to be quiet in there, right? He could go to sleep, right?

Wrong. As soon as Remus walked into his room, he saw a young teenager couple on his bed making out. He sighed and slammed the door, and they both jumped when they saw him standing at the foot of the bed.

"Could you excuse us, please?" the boy said. He leaned in to kiss the girl again, but Remus jerked the blanket out from underneath them, sending them toppling to the floor.

"Get out of my room," he said, gesturing to the door. They quickly scrambled off the floor and darted out of the room, not looking back once.

Remus let out an exasperated breath and lay down on his bed. Somehow, he was able to drown out the noise that was coming from the other room and just lie there and stare at the ceiling. He couldn't possibly train any of the four Aurors tomorrow. They would be hung-over, and he would be sleep deprived. And besides, he would have to spend some time cleaning this place up tomorrow. He could just call off lessons, right?

He was only broken out of his thoughts when he heard another chant. "Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!" Oh, no. He didn't even know there was a keg at the party, although he should have assumed. He didn't think twice about it. He just climbed out of bed and ran out to the living room. And…dear Merlin. This was the worst sight of the night.

There was Tonks, standing on the coffee table, surrounded by a group of people, and chugging from a keg. Everyone was cheering for her, especially Heinrich and Kadir. Remus could only gape at her, because if he tried to interfere, they would only attack. There were forty of them and only one of him. It wouldn't work.

Within the next few seconds, Tonks fell off the coffee table, still giggling, and landed on the girl that was topless just a little while ago. "Sorry, so sorry," she said, rolling off of the girl and laughing as she drank some butterbeer out of her cup.

"Get up, Nymphadora," Alfred said, helping his girlfriend off of the floor and holding her tightly as she almost collapsed again. He still seemed to be fairly sober. "You can't be acting like this if you want to attend one of my mother's parties, you know."

"I don't care about your mum's parties!" Tonks exclaimed, cackling madly as she slung her arms around his neck to prevent herself from falling over. "They're boring, anyway!"

Alfred looked incredibly hurt, but he didn't reprimand her. "That's the alcohol talking. You need some rest."

"Okurrrrrr," Tonks slurred as she slid to the floor. She looked like she was about to pass out.

Remus was sickened by everything that was going on in the house. He would have to wait until the party died down. Then he would strike. Until then, he was going to hole himself up in his room and refuse to interfere.

…

It was almost three in the morning before Remus finally heard quiet music playing in the living room. There was no chanting, no shouting, no duels, no shattering glass. It was almost peaceful. Now, he could probably handle the leftover teenagers. He cautiously opened his bedroom door, checking both sides of the hallway, before walking back into the living room.

And what he saw almost made him want to kill the Auror students. There was no one left except the four of them. Remus first saw Heinrich passed out on the floor, still clutching a butterbeer can in his hand. Then he saw Kadir, who was playing a game of wizard chess with himself. He was rushing from one side to the other and trash talking Kadirrrrrr, his alter ego. He looked like he was about ready to pass out as well.

And then Remus directed his vision to the corner of the room where Alfred and Tonks were making out. He groaned and covered his eyes, wondering why exactly he agreed to take care of these terrible people while Mad-Eye was gone.

He quietly walked over to them and jerked them apart. Both of them looked up at him, tall and demanding, and Tonks burst into a fit of giggles.

"Hi, Remus!" she said, her voice almost so shrill that he couldn't understand her. "I didn't see you there."

"Yeah, well, I'm here. And you shouldn't be. So…get out." He gestured toward the door, and when they didn't move, he grabbed Alfred up and threw him toward the door.

"Don't touch this suit!" Alfred exclaimed, smoothing it out as he took a step toward the door. "This cost my father a lot of money to buy for me."

"Yeah, I don't care," Remus replied. "Make sure she gets home safe, and don't bother showing up for training in the morning."

Alfred shrugged and grabbed up Tonks from the couch, and then they walked out the door without bothering to say goodbye. Remus didn't even attempt to wake up Heinrich or bother Kadir. They weren't doing any harm, and he could tolerate them. They would leave as soon as they felt like it. Besides, Remus was ready for sleep. And he didn't feel like dealing with them right now. He had a lot of work to do when he woke up…


	28. Chapter 28

**Okay, guys. This chapter is the next to last chapter. But don't worry, because guess what? There's gonna be a sequel called Animal I Have Become. The last chapter will be posted this weekend because I'm trying to end my school year right now, and you know how stressful that is. Leave reviews, good or bad. Thanks for reading! (:**

Tonks couldn't remember anything that happened at the party, but she knew that she had messed up really bad. She visited Remus immediately and apologized at least a dozen times about her behavior, vowing to never touch another drop of alcohol for the rest of her life. Remus agreed to forgive her as long as she helped to clean up before Mad-Eye and Kingsley got back from their trip. She got Heinrich and Kadir over as well, and within an hour, everything looked just the same as it did before the party. Tonks passed out about an hour after the clean-up because her head was throbbing and she felt like she hadn't even slept a wink the night before.

As the month slowly progressed, Remus was invited to stay with the Weasleys as soon as they kids got out in June. He was already beginning to pack because he was hoping that Harry Potter would end up coming to the Weasleys' house. He had already prepared what he wanted to say when he met the boy.

Tonks, on the other hand, didn't really get any exciting news except for the fact that Alfred finally agreed to allow her to attend one of his mother's dinner parties. This wasn't technically exciting, but it obviously meant that she wasn't as embarrassing as she was a while ago.

The night of the dinner party, she dressed as formally as she could, trying to make a good impression on Alfred's family and friends. She was wearing a white dress that fell a little below her knees, covered by a thin black jacket and accompanied by black heels, pearls, and a tight bun in her hair. She made sure that her hair was her usual mousy brown color, and she made sure that her make-up didn't look too bright and vivid. When everything was in check, she headed out to his house.

She didn't really want to attend the party. She would rather be hanging out with Kadir and Heinrich…or possibly Remus. At least with them, she wouldn't have to use table manners and laugh at things that aren't even funny. She just didn't know if she liked pretending to fit in with rich people. They were all so snobby and terrible. It sickened her.

She knocked on the door lightly, trying not to disturb the dinner party. She knew that it had already started when she showed up. She had already screwed up without even walking inside the house. She was so forgetful.

Alfred answered the door, and he rolled his eyes at her. "Nymphadora, why are you always late?" He huffed like a child did when he didn't get his way, but nonetheless, he let her in. "At least you showed up. I would have been incredibly embarrassed if you wouldn't have come."

"Sorry," she said, flashing an apologetic smile at him. "You know how I am."

"Yes, I know how you are," Alfred said a little rudely. He took her jacket and escorted her into the big fancy dining room that she really hated, which was already filled with a bunch of old rich people who were staring at her like she had two heads.

"Nymphadora, so glad you could join us," Mrs. Charleston said with false happiness. She smiled at Tonks and then started talking to another woman close by.

Tonks smiled at everyone that was looking at her, and she followed Alfred down the long table to two seats that were left empty. She tripped over her big, chunky heels and giggled a little bit, but then she stopped when she noticed that no one else thought it was that funny. She sighed and sat down, frowning at the fancy food in front of her. She didn't want to eat it, but she would have to force it down.

"Nymphadora and Alfred attended Hogwarts School together," Mrs. Charleston announced to everyone at the table. "They're both in training to be Aurors."

A little old lady at the end of the table let out a cough, and then her eyes fixated on Tonks. "Don't you think that's a man's job, deary?"

Tonks glanced at Alfred for support, but he merely glared at her. Mrs. Charleston looked highly embarrassed for even mentioning the whole thing, and her eyes were begging Tonks to cover up the statement. But what was the point of lying? She couldn't just pretend to be someone she wasn't.

"I actually think that women are just as capable of fighting off Dark wizards as men are," she said, taking a sip of the champagne in her glass. It tasted terrible, and she made a face as she tried to keep it down. And then she coughed and regained her composure.

"Interesting…" another woman said.

Tonks went through the night trying to be herself as much as she could, but she could tell that every word that poured out of her mouth was humiliating Alfred and his mom. Most of the time, she tried to keep her mouth shut, but people just kept asking questions and staring at her like she was a window display. She really didn't fit in in this environment. Why did she keep hanging around?

She noticed after a while that everyone at the table was acting rather strange, not just because she was different from them. It was like they all knew something that she didn't. It was really starting to scare her after she ate, and she just wanted to get out of the house as fast as possible.

She got up from the table and started to walk out of the dining room, but everyone was still watching her intently. She turned to face them, and Mrs. Charleston said, "Are you going somewhere, Nymphadora?"

"Yeah, I have to use the loo," she said, pointing out into the hallway and leaving the room. As soon as the words had escaped her mouth, she knew that she had disappointed once again. No one seemed to like her, and she debated on just jumping out the bathroom window and never coming back. She could go to Remus and hang out with him for the night. That would be much more fun than what she was doing now…but she knew that if she left, Alfred would get even angrier with her. She had to stay.

She walked into the bathroom and immediately stared at her reflection in the mirror. She looked so drab and boring. It almost made her cry, thinking about possibly having to live the rest of her life like this. She couldn't do it. She couldn't be rich and fancy and attend dinner parties and use table manners and lie about her interests just to impress the rich people. It couldn't happen.

She left the bathroom with thoughts crashing around in her brain. She wanted to break up with Alfred. It was for the best. They were two totally different people, and she knew it wouldn't work out. As soon as this dinner was over, she would break up with him.

But the dinner seemed to be over. Everyone was leaving now, and they were all chatting and laughing their rich people laughs. Mrs. Charleston was saying her goodbyes to them, and Alfred found his way down the hallway to where Tonks was standing.

"Alfred, we need to talk," she said. "Can we go somewhere like…more private?"

"We do need to talk, yes," Alfred said, pulling her into a small closet in the hallway. It wasn't very classy to be doing something like this, but he didn't really care. He had a lot of important things to say.

"Um…well, first of all-" Tonks started, but Alfred held up his hand to silence her.

"Nymphadora, may I go first? It's rather important." Tonks nodded, and Alfred continued. "So, I know that you and I are completely different people and we both have incredibly different values, but I do believe that we can make this relationship work out. We can make a compromise." He sighed and looked down at the floor for a second, and then he looked back up at her again. "I've been thinking about this for a really long time, and I think it's the right thing to do. So…" He sunk down to the floor, landing on one knee and pulling out a small box containing a huge diamond ring. "Will you marry me?"


	29. Chapter 29

**Hey guys! Guess what? This is the last chapter. And you might hate me just a lot after this, but it had to be done. So, please stick with me. I promise it gets better. Anyway, this is the last chapter of this installment of the series, but the sequel, called "Animal I Have Become", will be posted after semester exams are over. Which is in like, three days. So bear with me. Leave a review, whether you like or not. (:**

Tonks had been lost for words for a good long minute now, at least. Alfred was still on the floor, on his knee, holding out the most beautiful ring that she had ever seen. And all she could do was gawk at him. It was the most unexpected thing ever. Alfred hated her…or, at least, she thought that he hated her. But apparently he didn't. Her brown eyes were wide and gazing, and she bit down on her lip hard, almost drawing blood. What was she supposed to say to him?

"Well?" Alfred said after the silence had gotten completely unbearable for him. His dark brown eyes were narrowed and looking up at her, and he appeared to be kind of…hopeful? Sad? Confused? It was a mixture of feelings.

"Um…" Tonks hesitated, eyeing the huge diamond ring in the box again. It was seriously the most beautiful thing that she had ever seen. If only she could just take that ring and leave Alfred…no. That was wrong.

She and Alfred had been friends when they were at Hogwarts. They had gotten along just fine. They had even gone on a couple of dates before their seventh year ended and Auror training began. So why was everything so different now? Why was she so confused and he was such an ass? Only two years had passed. She could pretend that no time had passed. She could live in the past forever, live like she and Alfred were just school friends all over again. He had made her happy back then. And besides, when was she going to get another opportunity like this? Who else was going to deal with her messed up behavior? She was lucky that she had even gotten Alfred to look at her.

"Tonks?" he asked when, once again, she had been quiet for far too long.

Tonks was pulled out of her thoughts at his word, and her eyes widened in a mixture of horror and happiness. "You called me Tonks." She smiled. For the first time in their entire relationship, he had made her smile.

Alfred frowned for a second, and then a small smile crept onto his face as well. "Yes, I believe I did. Sorry-"

"No, please call me Tonks. Or Dora. But not Nymphadora." She was seriously incredibly relieved.

Alfred stared at her for a second, a clear look of confusion on his face. It was obvious that he was debating on whether or not he should argue with her, but then he nodded. "Fine…Dora. Listen, if you want to say no, just go ahead and say it-"

"No," Tonks said, the word slipping out before she could think. And then she was talking nonsense. Her mouth was working faster than her brain. "I didn't mean that. I mean…I wanted to say yes." She mentally kicked herself. Why, why did she say yes? It was a spur of the moment thing. She could change her mind, right?

Alfred looked so happy. It was the first time that she had seen him truly smile around her. For once, he had made her happy, and she had made him happy. Maybe they could start over now…maybe things will get better from here on out. He wrapped her arms around her and pulled her into a tight hug. Tonks frowned, still thinking over her sudden decision, but when she slipped the really beautiful diamond ring on her finger, she knew that she had made the right choice.

"I think I need to go home now," Tonks said, still gazing at the ring. She turned the doorknob and started to walk out of the closet, but Alfred pulled her back.

"You could stay the night," he said hopefully.

Tonks wasn't ready for that. She wasn't even sure if she was ready for a stupid engagement. After all, she was only nineteen years old. She had plenty of time…no, she had made the decision. It was clear. She was going to get married. Her parents would be happy, Alfred would be happy, and maybe she would be happy eventually. "I think I need to tell my parents. I'll see you tomorrow." She waved a little bit, watching as the light caught the edge of the ring, making it shine like no other, and then she smiled and left Alfred's house, feeling a hell of a lot better than when she walked inside three hours ago.

...

Remus was packing away his things in his suitcases, preparing for the journey to the Weasleys' house for the summer. Once again, he would have to rely on Molly to get him through his miserable life. Once again, he would be stuck babysitting the five Weasley children still in the house. And once again, he would hope against hope that Ron would bring Harry Potter home for the summer. He wanted more than anything to meet James's son.

And then someone knocked on the door. Who could possibly be there? Kingsley was in the living room, and apparently he got up to open the door. Remus listened from his bedroom, hoping that it wasn't Mad-Eye. He just couldn't deal with him right now. But to his surprise, it was a low, soothing voice that sounded all too familiar to him. What was Dumbledore doing here?

"Lupin!" Kingsley yelled as he walked down the hallway to Remus's bedroom. "Dumbledore is here-" Before he could finish, Remus was already out of his bedroom and heading toward the living room. What could Dumbledore possibly want with him?

"Ah, Remus," Dumbledore said as his astonishing blue eyes landed on the person that he came to talk to. "Just the man I needed to see. I understand you're planning on staying at the Weasleys' house this summer?"

"Yes, sir," Remus replied. "I'm packing right now. I was going to leave in just a few minutes."

Dumbledore held up a hand, signaling for him to stop speaking, and he did as he was told. "Not so fast. I have an offer for you that you certainly can't turn down." He paused, waiting for a reaction, but there was none. He sighed. "How would you like to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts at Hogwarts this year?"

An offer he couldn't turn down? Was Dumbledore mad? Remus immediately shook his head. "No, I can't do that. I'm sorry. Too dangerous."

But a small smile turned up on Dumbledore's lips. "It's not dangerous at all. I've already thought all of this through, Remus. You'll continue taking your Wolfsbane Potion, and if necessary, you will use the Shrieking Shack like you did when you were in school." His blue eyes were twinkling.

Remus had always respected Dumbledore, but this was just insanity. He wasn't supposed to hire a half-breed. It was way too risky, even with the Shrieking Shack and the Wolfsbane Potion. He desperately needed a job, but this was too hazardous. Once again, he denied it. "I'm sorry, but I don't think I need to put anyone else in any more danger. I'll just stay with the Weasleys-"

"Remus, I'm offering you this job because I know you can do it." Dumbledore frowned, but he didn't look the least bit disappointed. His eyes were still twinkling. "You're an intelligent young man, and you will not be putting anyone at risk. Severus has already agreed to keep you in constant supply of potion, and I guarantee that you'll be the safest Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher that we've had in the past several years. You can think about it, if you'd like. But do get back to me soon."

Remus ran a hand through his graying hair and sighed heavily. Dumbledore was such a respectable man. Without him, he wouldn't have even been able to attend Hogwarts. He owed something to the man, right? And if Dumbledore thought that Remus was fit to teach and it wouldn't be too dangerous, then he might as well take the job. Protesting with Dumbledore wasn't going to get him anywhere. And besides, Dumbledore was incredibly wise. He wouldn't hire someone if he thought that he or she was too dangerous, right?

"Alright, I'll do it," Remus answered after a few seconds of thought. "If you believe that I can do it, then I believe I can do it too."

Dumbledore nodded, and another smile formed on his face. "I do believe that you can do it. I'll be in contact with you later this summer to discuss lesson plans and housing arrangements. I would discuss them with you right now, but I sense that someone else is requesting your attention."

Remus was confused by the statement, but he looked past Dumbledore and saw Tonks standing in the open doorway, her eyes wide and a small smile on her thin lips. Dumbledore smiled as well and said a quick goodbye before walking briskly out the door.

"Remus…" Tonks said, taking a step into the apartment. She wouldn't look him in the eye. She was going to tell her parents about the recent events first, but it would be much harder to tell Remus. She might as well get the hardest over with first. "I have something to tell you."

Remus grinned at her. His conversation with Dumbledore was finally starting to sink in. He was going to have a job. He was going to get paid. He was going to have a home. He was going to finally see Harry Potter after all these years. But he also had to be around Snape for an entire year. He frowned at that, but it would most definitely be worth it.

"I have something to tell you too." Tonks opened her mouth to speak, but he interrupted her. It was the second time that she had been interrupted that night. "I'll go first. Dumbledore just offered me a job at Hogwarts, and I accepted it."

Tonks smiled up at him, although it was a little shaky and hesitant. She didn't want Remus to go away for the year. She wouldn't get to see him…maybe that was best after what she just did. "That's great!" she exclaimed, her voice sounding entirely too high to be real. She threw her arms around him and pulled him into a hug, and surprisingly, he hugged her back. "But you'll be gone all year…"

"Yeah, I know. But I can visit on holidays," Remus said. "Or you can visit, maybe…"

Tonks laughed dryly. "Right, I'm not coming back to Hogwarts any time soon." And then a pain shot through her chest, and she was reminded that she had to tell him what just happened. She frowned deeply, crossed her arms, and looked down at the floor. "Listen, Remus. I just made the biggest decision of my life, and I think I'm going to go through with it."

"What did you decide?" Remus asked, amused by her shyness. She was probably being overdramatic, just as she always was. And then his eyes landed on that huge diamond ring that was on her finger, and he felt a stab in his heart. An engagement ring? "You…you got engaged?"

Tonks bit her lip and nodded a little, still not looking up at him. Now that she was with him, she wondered why she had even considered saying yes to Alfred. And now she was engaged, and she could quite possibly be stuck in a miserable, rich lifestyle for the rest of her days. "He proposed tonight. I think we can make it work."

Remus was so confused by the sudden plot twist. He had never dreamed that Tonks and Alfred were going to get married. He thought for sure they were going to break up any time now. And then this happened, and he didn't know how he was supposed to react. Was he supposed to be happy for her? Was he supposed to try to talk her out of it? It was like someone had literally stabbed a sword through his body. He wanted to protect her, make sure that she didn't get hurt. Make sure that she made the right decisions…but she thought that she had made the right decision. He couldn't argue with her.

"I'm happy for you," he settled on saying, although it was a complete lie. He wasn't happy at all. He was disgusted with her.

"Thanks," Tonks replied. Her brown eyes finally moved to meet his, and a small smile traced her lips. She shuffled her feet nervously and waited for him to say something else, but it was clear that he wasn't going to. He had a way of making her feel stupid about this whole thing, even though he hadn't said a word against it. She wanted him to beg her not to marry Alfred, to tell her that he was in love with her. That was what would truly make her happy. But it wasn't going to happen. So she would have to settle for second best.

"I need to tell my parents," she said, taking a step toward the door. "They'll be so excited. Well, my mom will. My dad might go snap Alfred in half." She laughed a little, although her eyes held no happiness. "I just thought you should know. After all, you're probably my closest friend." Remus still wasn't responding. She sighed and turned on her heel, almost running right into a potted plant and knocking it over. She hesitated, waiting for Remus to say anything, _anything_, but he didn't speak. Her heart almost broke in half, but she put on that fake smile and walked out the door.

Remus watched her as she pulled the door shut, and he listened as her big boots thudded against the floor just outside the apartment. When the noise had dulled, he sighed and sat down on the couch. When that door shut, he knew that she had walked right out of his life, and he didn't know when she would walk back in.


End file.
